I still think of you and all the shit you’ve put me through.
It had been three weeks since she caught him. In the upcoming couple of days, she’d be moved into HPA, away from this chaos. She will be able to breathe again, no longer suffocating in her own soupy mess.
This was her fault -- she saw its revolution right in front of her eyes, but she kept her mouth shut. He needed her; she couldn’t leave him.
Hoitsu Mifune.
He doesn’t have an ounce of motivation, of drive, of independence. For nine months she devoted her time and, ultimately, her emotional well being for him. But, clearly, she was disposable. Nothing.
“ ... I don’t understand. ”
She’s always had a habit of taking anyone and everyone under her wing, no matter what their dilemma was. In fact, she believed she was attracted to those who are vulnerable. She needs to feel needed. She needs to feel as if she’s helping, making a change in someone’s life.
Everyone deserves to have a shoulder to lean on. That’s what she’s always been a strict believer of; no matter their past. So, when coming across Hoitsu, she was immediately enamored.
Hoitsu was nothing but a zombie without her. He couldn’t manage cooking for himself, doing chores, or even showering. He hardly spoke or made any indication he acknowledged you. Until Kimiko barged her way in to his life.
She was the one to ask for a relationship, and with an uninterested affirmation, they became a couple. But as the months went on, they went from a dynamic of girlfriend and boyfriend to mother and son.
It was Kimiko who did his laundry, reminded him of schoolwork, and prepared his dinners. It was Kimiko who set up his goals, reworked is sleep schedule, and finally broke him to speak with a therapist. It was Kimiko who got his life back on track.
She was so drained. Stressed. Tired.
At 15 years old, Kimiko was a mother of two -- when including her own mother.
Soon, Kimiko became resentful of Hoitsu. She regretted having to have met him, forcing her to baby him, to encourage him, to mother him as if he were only five years old.
So when she saw her boyfriend in the middle of peppering another girl with kisses down the nape of her neck, she was nothing but relieved.
“ ... I don’t ... understand ..! ”
Lungs burning from her harsh gasps, knees giving out on her, she still was hurt. It was a specific type of shock that numbed her body and mind. Time and time again she kept telling herself ‘he’s at his last straw; I’ll break up with him when it’s gone.’ But, time and time again, his last straw was never the last one.
Until now.
Her faith, her determination, her dedication. It all meant nothing. Her own self worth withered away as she pushed him in a better direction, placing him back on his own two feet.
He gave her the chance to rebuild herself.
Unpacking her belongings in her new dorm, all Kimiko did was cry. She was away from her depressive mother who needed her nurse; she was away from her unfaithful ex-boyfriend who depended on his mother for every little thing.
She was free.
She was free, and she’d have the chance to meet new people. Better people! Everyone was good here.
