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repost & tag away!

Tagged by: @belost-the-watcher Tagging: @impfiltration @wingedwisdom @coloneldahana

#||~ dash games #||~ character dev #Most people have been tagged

“Remember - under all your painted on indignation and forced good will - you were bred for this. You are the monster you fear through and through, you show us in every battle and every struggle. Don’t shy away, embrace it and take from the undeserving what they should have fought harder for. Their lives were forfeit the moment they underestimated you, my pet.”

- Baron Gormflek, quadrant K478

#||~ character dev #sketch #Gormflek #Been playing with the idea of arena gladitaors gaining patrons if they survive long enough #Essentially owners who keeps them trained #fed and possibly fitted with weapons #And of course take profits of victors #might make a proper headcanon for it later #I should be sleeping

NAME OF YOUR MUSE : Aryn Gwendolyn Evans

ONE PICTURE YOU LIKE BEST OF YOUR MUSE’S FC:

An oldy but a goody. (Just minus the scars for most verses.)

TWO HEADCANONS YOU HAVE FOR YOUR MUSE THAT YOU NEVER TOLD ANYONE :

1. Aryn attaches to people quite easily. She is stubborn as hell when it comes to surviving, but she has always been a better second in command than a leader herself, because she gets a lot of motivation from keeping other’s in line and safe. She feeds off of social units, and when she has someone around her motivation is easier to access and the dark thoughts easier to push back because suddenly she is not just living for her own singular goals.

2. Although she knows the thought should disgust her, occasionally in her freedom she seeks out fist/cage matches to brawl with aliens to get out deep seeded aggression and seek out the old thrill of arena fights. It squashes down feeling really dead inside all too often. And if she makes some money in process, all the better.

THREE THINGS THAT YOUR MUSE LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME :

1. Working out and her own version of meditating.

2. She just like relaxing around people she enjoys being around. It’s a luxury she missed.

3. Trying to reabsorb the ways things work outside captivity, specifically she likes getting a handle on the small weird eccentricities of communities. Who to go to for what, what work/favours can be done for who to have advantages in the future. How to gain the system, who to protect and help, whose good side to get on. She started doing it as early as her first tours of duty when her senior officers gave them the lay of the land.

But also.... TV. TV is good free time.

SEVEN PEOPLE THAT YOUR MUSE LOVES/LIKES :

1. Her father and mother and brother. Mitchel, Eleanor, Warren. They one spot cause she loves them all and her family unit is kinda one thing. She misses them all, feels like she’s let them down and is heartbroken that they might be dead in the verses where she is aware of the cyro-time.

2. Pidge, in the headcanon where Katie is related to her in a very round-about way that surprises them both, she grows very attach to the kid. Definitely loves her, wants to protect her from the universe and occasionally from her own damn self. She’d lay her life on the line for her.

In regular non-relation stuff, she cares about Pidge in the way she cares about the whole Castle of Lions crew, which is a pretty large fondness and loyalty.

3. Shiro, in the headcanon where Aryn and Shiro met in captivity with the Galra and then meet again later on again, she cares for the man very greatly. She sees him as a brother and wants to keep him safe and even more so, sane.

Again, in verses where that isn’t the case, she cares for him still a lot, but in the way that she cares for all those on the Castle, though it is likely she feels a bond a little more with Shiro because of their shared experiences.

4. Vin, somehow a sister. Aryn never had a sister growing up, but probably a good thing because she might pale in comparison to Vin. Somedays she can’t tell whether she’s coming or going with the other woman, or if she’s a good or bad thing in Vin’s life, but she’d still give up her freedom to keep Vin’s.

5. Shivanya, I don’t think this woman will ever truly leave Aryn’s head until the day she dies. One of her biggest regrets in life and that is even over taking lives of people she cares about. She loved Shivanya so much and she abandoned her for her own selfish reasons when the other woman was trying to candidly tell her the consequences, and she will just never forget it.

6. Polaris Crew, the whole crew gets a slot. She wasn’t with them a long long time truth be told, but bonds are cast in the fires of struggle, and she was there to keep them safe. It was all she wanted to do.

7. Belost. Saved this one for last because it is the only one not in her more regular verses. Aryn’s relationship with Belost is exclusive to the Bitch verse and the only iteration of it that has ever really worked. Aryn has been through extra gauntlets in this verse and been nearly broken and undone, it is literally Belost’s friendship and ultimately love that keeps her able, sane and able to acclimatize to any sort of normal and capacity to still love. He gave her the opportunity to find her spirit again and remember who she is.

TWO THINGS YOUR MUSE REGRETS:

1. Going back on tour after the political climate changed for the worse and leaving her fiancée Shivanya behind. Had she not, she’d have married her, become a physical therapist, never gone to space and would have lived a happy life.

2. Every damn day that she lived while her crew did not. It was her responsibility to protect them.

TWO PHOBIAS YOUR MUSE HAS :

1. Her paralysis

2. Being accused/held responsible for the things out of her control but that she still feels ultimately responsible for. Mainly the deaths of those around her.

Tagged by: @belost-the-watcher

Tagging: Again I’m pretty late on this so I don’t want to tag people who’ve already been tagged a whole bunch.

#||~ dash games #||~ character dev

So I heard this song again today.

Welshly Arms - Who We Are (Tumblr - youtube - youtube accoustic)

And still very much love it for Aryn. But I also love the idea of her singing it.

She doesn't have the greatest singing voice ever. She can stay in tune pretty well if a song doesn't go too high or low, but knowing her limitations and not being super confident in her voice, when she does do it, it is a mix of lyrical speaking and quieter even singing. It's hard to describe exactly how I imagine it, but in its modesty it's often quite heartfelt. (Unless she is drunk, cause then it's loud and belting.)

As oppose to prompting an open starter based on a song and singing because they are a challenge sometimes to have go anywhere or pique interest with, I'm just going to do a small list of scenarios for different characters and this song that I mulled over today as I worked.

@dishonoredbeast

They're both pretty beat up and low at this point. It's as simple as a rainy night or after a hard day that has their spirits quite down. That has Aryn hunkering down in the crook of his upper arm and body cause she just needs to be close to something and secure feeling. After some time of silence she begins humming and builds to singing it quietly for the both of them. Until the song is done or she’s too tired to keep going.

@impfiltration & @jawblade

I can imagine this for if Pidge ever got quite hurt and had a lasting wound or scar. Even if she’d had her time in the healing pod. If it was something that Aryn felt was bothering her deep down, I could imagine her sitting in either of their bunks with her and very quietly singing it as a comforting gesture while she held Pidge loosely. A sort of ‘Que sera sera.’

For Shiro, it’d be similar, but a little less motherly I think. If Shiro was in such a spot that she felt he needed the commiseration or pick me up like that, touching might be limited as to respect his space. Especially if it’s anxiety based. This would likely be much less about any sort of physical injury as he has seen plenty of those and learned to deal. More so as her way of talking about how the internal scars are equally part of them and how they form who they are, without just saying it so directly. It would be more a gentler way to try to make him feel safe I think.

@vin-robles & @ardentsoldier

I had to double think on Vin for a bit, cause while I think Vin is no stranger to Aryn drunkenly singing/bellowing or even humming while they work on things in the same room, I don’t think Aryn would sing much, if ever, in front of Vin. Not that it would be the end of the world for Vin to hear, but like I said, it’s not something that Aryn is comfortable with her ability in. She might if she was in the zone, mumble sing to herself with Vin present, because that never sounds good or talented.

I think this goes equally for Haxus as it does for Vin, that for both of them, Aryn knows there is a lot of baggage and hardship and raw emotions underneath the surface of it all. For them and her included. It’s a lot of vulnerability that seeps out accidentally here and there on occasion, despite their prides, and singing is yet another vulnerability for Aryn, especially if the song/lyrics mean something to her. So sharing it just feels dangerous, like opening flood gates.

That’s where the two of them differ. For Haxus it’s generally not wanting to show weakness, or present it so obviously, even when that trust is built up. For Vin, they are closer and she’s less worried about judgement, it’s more about putting on a stronger face so she can continue to shoulder her equal share of the burden they both carry. She already has her very broken moments, she doesn’t want to yet again put more of the responsibility on Vin to keep things from falling apart.

So the scenario there would most likely be that they overhear her because she doesn’t know they’re there, or is being careless with how thin the walls are. It’d probably be because she is just trying to cope and hold on with the song. Remind herself of home and that it’s okay to be what she is. (this one got long cause it was more internal, whoops)

@belost-the-watcher & the children

A lot of what applies above would also apply here for Belost. I think she would have less qualms singing in front of Belost later on in their longevity together, but at the start it would also probably be accidental if he heard it. He is a quiet, light footed snoop after all. As it would be more of a private happening for her, and once she is not confident in to do in front of him. I can see a scenario though that if this is a song he realizes means something to her and helps her cope occasionally, he might actually turn the table and implement it himself. Most especially when she is dealing with the injury to her face that happens in that verse. Him leaning in to quietly sing-say it, maybe getting some lyrics wrong, but getting the point across enough to make her smile.

Another scenario I see would be when he is recovering from his very bad injuries from his fall. She might sing it to him at his bedside quietly, this likely would be when he is asleep or close to falling asleep, while she runs her fingers through his hair or over the back of his ear. We learn from each mistake. With every bone we break. That it leaves us stronger in the end.

And back to the motherly aspect. I can see her singing verses of it to her kids if they get hurt and are upset. A small lullaby to let them know it’s okay to get hurt and heal. It’s okay to show the marks of their mistakes, so long as they learn from it. That they will heal and it’ll be alright.

#||~ headcanon #singing #||~ character dev #welshly arms #Who We Are #Oof this got way longer than I had intended #Buuuut oh well #If any one has any reactions to those tell me #I wanna know thoughts

Headcanon: Olfactory Dysfunction - Anosmia

Among potential minor brain damage, I kid you not, Aryn suffers later down the road a partial inability to smell like she used to. She’s still capable of it, but due to repeated injuries and blunt force trauma to her face and head from various sources, her sense of smell has weakened a lot. This partial loss of smell has also weakened her ability to taste by an equivalent amount.

Despite this not being a good thing, it does help her eat things that aren’t as pleasant (though she has her limits) and helps her stay in crummier locations during her wandering, that would be otherwise much less bareable.

#||~ headcanons #||~ character dev #the headcanon no one wanted or needed

If this theory/speculation on Shiro’s age is accurate. (Not debating validity or anything here or doing math to double check).

It would mean that Aryn (give or take a few years in either direction, depending on various verse factors) was born roughly around the year 2040.

Roughly 23 years from now. (I could have been her mother in more ways then one apparently). Somehow seeing the gap laid out in these numbers of 2040 versus 2096-3000 when the Paladins are born, makes me wonder about how outdated she might occasionally seem to them. Whether or not they are aware of the cryo-period.

Like, how often does she say things (like sayings and slang) that are equivalent to ‘hip and jive’ in which she is saying them sincerely and not ironically like we often do now. And the kids just look at her like ‘....what the-’

#||~ musings #Age speculation #Date speculation #||~ character dev #I have no real opinions on what age people want to play Shiro at - you do you #Just made me think on my own stuff in an interesting way

Panic, Fright, Disgust

Non-Verbal reactions to emotions | Open

Panic

She has been trained for a long time to ‘expect the unexpected’ essentially, to react and act to the environment that is changing, and to not panic. To assess and react, as quickly as possible.

And she was good at it.

Until she met a whole alien race of advanced war-mongering slave-driving aliens. Now she suffers from anxiety attacks and panic attacks. Her ability to reason in these moments drops and she acts on snap judgments. Highly trained and muscle memory snap judgements, mind you, perhaps the only reason she is still alive.

If she’s extremely panicked she does a very bad thing and freezes up. Her muscles tighten up to the point of strain if she moves too quickly the wrong way and her heart beat can become irregular, which sets off further alarm bells in her body. Often her jaw will go into micro-quivering and she’ll start to heat up and sweat.

Her mind is partial at these times to irrational thinking and thus irrational solution generation and is still working hard filtering in everything her widened eyes can, ticking off what is around her and happening.

In these times she goes from 0 to 100 in an instance once something in the environment triggers her to act. In these moments she rarely has a specific solid plan and relies primarily on instinct, which after her trauma, can very often be violent. Her prosthetics will often flare up if she feels threatened and not help her already raising body temperature..

Being physically touched often elicits, strong offended pulling away. Sometimes it’ll lead to reassessment of surroundings, or aforementioned violence (most especially if her retreat is impeded in any way). Fight or flight to the umpteenth degree.

Fright

Right off the bat. Extreme sudden fright/fear will elicit panic. See above.

More general fright will make her withdraw, she’ll put physical space between it and her if she can do so without drawing much attention to herself. If it is towards someone who is antagonizing her directly, she will rarely back down even if she does not intend on engaging. She will not necessary look at the person/thing, or will keep a watch on it from the corner of her eyes if it could be dangerous, but she will close off her body language with crossed arm and a lowered chin, and become an unmoving wall of stubborn nerves.

Without the element of shock/surprise to the fear, she shows it less in her expression. Often times her look will be of anger or bitterness or an overall grouchiness. Sometimes there is some concern in her brow with the anger, but she tries to keep it off her face as best as possible.

Again touching is responded to with harsh withdrawal, sharp movements and threat of strike. Unlike panic she is in more control and will rarely actually strike unless it’s necessary, but she will lift her lip and put her arm up between herself and the offending being with her back hand exposed in threat of ‘I will will strike you with this metal thing and it will hurt’.

Things that frighten her that have no physical presence, like ideas, concepts, memories, nightmares etc. she tends to displace herself from others to attempt to deal with them privately. Concentrates of breathing, sometimes tries to give herself scenery to look out at if she can. Any one point somewhere she can focus on to try to let the thoughts filter out of her head. She has a habit of running her fingers through her hair when unnerved by fear or rubbing her knuckles along her arm.

Otherwise she dispels lesser fears/worries with goofy behaviour to literally distract herself..

Disgust

Ah yes, disgust. There are so many things that disgust her now, in others, in herself, in so many situations that she is thrust into, so she flat out attempts to ignore it often. If it’s something large, normally her mood sinks and she tries to distance herself in any way she can. Even if it’s as minute as holding a shoulder between the object/subject and herself.

Her nose will often crinkle and her lips will sit askew, an expression she can hold casually for quite a while. Her eyes will squint more and she’ll look away to try to get it off her mind with lack of a visual. Again, she will close off her body language if she can’t just outright leave. If it has to do with a smell, often she will prop up one arm and hold her fist under her nose. If it has to do with a person she’s comfortable with there might be accusing glares.

#||~ character dev #Aryn Evans #moods #emotion #non-verbal behaviour #//I wrote too much #that took me much too long #vrepit-sa

BOLD ANY FEARS WHICH APPLY TO YOUR MUSE. ITALICISE WHAT MAKES THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG.

the dark ⋆ fire ⋆ open water ⋆ deep water ⋆ being alone ⋆ crowded spaces ⋆ confined spaces ⋆ open spaces ⋆ change ⋆ failure ⋆ war ⋆ loss of control ⋆ powerlessness ⋆ prison ⋆ blood ⋆ drowning ⋆ suffocation ⋆ public speaking ⋆ natural animals ⋆ the supernatural ⋆ heights ⋆ death ⋆ dying ⋆ intimacy ⋆ rejection ⋆ abandonment ⋆ loss ⋆ the unknown ⋆ the future ⋆ not being good enough ⋆ scary stories ⋆ speaking to new people ⋆ poverty ⋆ loud noises ⋆ lack of noise ⋆ being touched ⋆ forgetting ⋆ insects ⋆ disease ⋆ falling ⋆

Tagged by: @belost-the-watcher Tagging: @techspecialistofvoltron @silentconfliction @haxuss

#||~ memes #Fears #||~ character dev