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[asphodelroot]

Coughs, Snivels, And Parental Meltdown | Edgar and Lily

August 28th, 1980 @edgarbonesknows

It’s half past one when the owl starts its assault on Edgar’s window, it’s only warning preamble a sharp screech before it practically slams into the glass. It staggers for a second and then regains it balance, scratching and pecking at the window unceasingly until it’s opened. Then it flings the letter it was carrying at the man before collapsing in an exhausted heap, only mustering a deadly glare at any hesitation of opening its highly urgent missive.

SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH HARRY, HELP.      Lily

Urgent and short, messily scrawled out on a scrap of paper. The back of a shop receipt actually. Really, Lily was paying how much for nappies? She needed more than one kind of help.

[asphodelmori]

August 7th, 2002 Ted Tonks c/o Dean Thomas @eastonks

Dear Ted,

I know it has been a long, long time. Longer for you than for me, even. You’ll probably say I don’t have to apologize for that, but I could have done better staying in touch after I left school, at least. If not the rest of it.  Oh well. Time for doing better, isn’t it?

I saw your name in the Prophet when you came back. I’m sorry I missed you in holding, but I promise you it’s better to not have so many people in there. I hope you’re getting settled in well. It’s ---

It’s weird as hell. I don’t have any advice to give you, I don’t even know what I’m doing myself. They have me living with Harry, you know, and I should by happy about that. He’s my son! I love him! But . . .

My son was a baby. And now he isn’t. And he doesn’t need me, not in that ‘he’s an adult who doesn’t need parenting’ way, but he’s had other people to mother him.

This is a mess. Maybe I should tear up this letter and rewrite it all. But a long time ago, you said I could trust you. Tell you anything. And to not let those insecurities keep me from reaching out to you for help. So, I guess. I need my old mentor back. A little guidance. I’ve missed you.

Things were supposed to be easier when we didn’t have to worry about being hexed in the hallways for being muggleborn. What happened to that?

I hope you’re doing as well as possible. Apparently you’re not staying with Andromeda? Why? Have you been able to meet Teddy? He’s a lot like his namesake.

Love, Lily

[ruwonid-blog]

lightweight.

@idmilo > msg practice room, early april. there's no reason to be afraid no time to be like that you don't need me in that light

practice makes perfect, or so the adage goes. not so much for ruwon. he’s gotten better, but at such a slow crawl he’s not even sure it really counts. milo helps him, or at least tries. it usually doesn’t amount to much, though this is mostly ruwon’s fault. he has a way of grinding to a halt and complaining until milo gets sick enough of his voice to let him stop. then they eat food, or drink. nearly anything but dance. it’s like an event in and of itself at this point. 

ruwon thinks that deep down milo probably finds it endearing. even if he doesn’t, ruwon tells him that he should find it endearing enough that he might brainwash him at this point. today is following in similar fashion, the two of them in a msg practice room. milo is still folding his body into springy sorts of steps that ruwon should follow, but when he does he bunny hops his way into an awkward contortion of what he should be displaying. an exaggeration, but exaggerations make for the best excuses in ruwon’s book.

“you’re doing fabulous, milo.” ruwon sinks himself down to the floor as he calls it out, a willing spectator to a sport he no longer wants to be involved in. he should be five feet back and mirroring him, but milo had probably already seen him drifting his way listlessly out of view. a paper bag lost to the wind -- or in this case, his own lack of effort. he’s willing to make sacrifices to please his tired muscles, however. “love it. just love it.” the last word is groaned out, and he petals his hands around his chin to frame a smile when milo’s head decides to follow the commotion. 

“it’s fine, i’m absorbing your talent and instructions. like uv rays, i’m just soaking it all up.” he calls out as he lets his body start the slow slide to the floor that means he’s officially given up. perhaps at life, but that’s too big a conclusion for ruwon to jump to. for a later day. “keep at it, i’ll just…” words trailing off and into an indiscernible mumble. eventually the music clicks off, footsteps follow, and ruwon opens his eyes to see milo standing above him. “hello, beautiful. fancy seeing you here.”

[asphodelroot]

Odd Places to Meet Old Friends | STRIPPER AU

@notlibatiusborage Location: The Club

“LILY.” A breathless, ragged gasp paired with a dramatic flinging of herself in front Lily’s notes had to be highly overly dramatic for whatever bit of information Ellie was about to impart, no matter how much excitement was glittering in the girl’s eyes. Perhaps she’d lost her mind in one of her gothic classics again; an idea that seemed to be confirmed as she hissed, “I’ve found him!”

“Who?” Lily asked obligingly as she tried to rescue her notes before Ellie shredded them in her enthusiasm. “Whom,” Ellie correct, making Lily twitch, before barging on, “and mixologyprince!” “Oh,” was Lily’s bland reply, pushing an elbow off her notebook. Obviously much less encouraging a response than Ellie was hoping for, as her eyes were wide and pleading when Lily glanced up to her. Sighing, she resigned herself to the conversation. Capping her pen, she leaned back in her seat and pulled her mind away from particle scattering and on to Ellie’s fascinating discovery.

“Mixologyprince— the Instagram guy? I thought he was anonymous.” Ellie had complained about it often enough, that he didn’t advertise where he worked or where people could get the admittedly delicious drinks he posted. People didn’t seem to know his name, where he was located, or anything beyond slim details that could be gleaned from the pictures of the drinks he posted. Lily was still lagging being Ellie’s expectations of involvement, for the girl rolled her eyes. “He does, but call me Ellie Holmes, because I’ve discovered where he works. See, my brother went to his best friend’s stag party, and they ended up at this strip club and look.”

Lily blinked and gently gripped Ellie’s wrist, moving it back so she could actually see what was on the phone screen that had been suddenly shoved in her face. “That... is your brother,” she said, blandly mixing confusion and attempted helpfulness. For her efforts, Ellie scoffed, pulling the phone back long enough to zoom in the picture before showing Lily again. “Look at the lights, Lily! Behind the bar. It’s a very distinctive set up, you have to admit, and I recognize it.” Another flick of her wrist and a different photo popped up; even Lily could recognize it as one of mixologyprince’s posts, the drink looking very delicious for the second she glimpsed it before Ellie zoomed in on the background. “It’s the same,” she hissed, in case Lily was still being such a dullard as to not be able to put that together on her own.

“So, your mixology idol works at a stripclub?” Lily said, still unsure what Ellie wanted from her. For her part, Ellie was beaming as she said, “Yes, and you have to come with me because I don’t want to go to a stripclub alone,” those wide eyes melting into earnest pleading that only the utmost heartless prude would be able to say no to.

Which is how Lily wound up at a strip club on a Thursday evening. It seemed a reasonably classy place, as far as these things went in her non-existent experience. Her eyes were dutifully caught by the performer on stage before she slide them quickly away, the pangs of a conservative upbringing in dead in Yorkshire making her flush even as tried to argue rationality and modern freedom towards sex and bodies. Ellie seemed to be having no such internal conflict, already half way across the room, beelining for the bar. By the time Lily had caught up to her, she was already deep in high speed, prattling gush over the bartender and his artistic mastery. “—promise I won’t tell anyone else, but I’m really hoping you’ll make me a drink and something for my friend, too. Lily, what would you want?” Ellie asked, finally taking a breath.

Lily, still trying to take in her surroundings while battling that deeply awkward feeling and embarrassment for her friend’s over enthusiasm, hummed. “I’m not sure, what would you—” She broke off as she turned her attention to the poor bartender. Her mouth felt suddenly dry, and mortification was rising fast in a flush that felt like it might burn her up from the inside out.

“Oh. Hello Sev.”

[asphodelroot]

Expedition Hogwarts

Date: Saturday, October 16th, 1971 Location: Hogwarts Castle @notlibatiusborage

Three staircases down, two up, make two lefts and then a right, and then take four more flights of stairs down, and somehow get to where one meant to go. Lily thought she was starting to get the hang of traversing the labyrinthine castle, but it was hard to tell some time. Even if she thought she was taking the same paths every time, the sights she passed seemed to change as willfully and easily as the occupants of the portraits moved around. Was it the castle playing with her? Or perhaps it was taking her on an adventure, showing her all of its glory in bits and snippets before eventually delivering her safely to her destination. After all, she always did reach where she was going. Eventually.

Ought she suggest the notion of a guided tour lead by the castle itself to Severus, or would he find that ridiculous? She didn’t want to open herself up to him scoffing and calling her fanciful, even if she thought it just as ridiculous for him to dismiss the fanciful given all the fantastical they’d seen and experienced in the last months. Truly, Hogwarts had proven to be everything they hoped for—and more. (‘Look, Severus, the candles really do fly!’ had been her first hushed words to Severus as they crowded into the Great Hall; somehow that had been more amazing than self-propelling rowboats.)

Rounding the corner to find herself looking down yet another completely unfamiliar hallway, Lily paused, sighing to herself. Or to the castle, depending on how fanciful one wanted to see her as. “Yes, I see, you’re very complicate and magnificent, but I’m running late and I want to explore you with Severus!” she muttered under her breath. If the castle could rearrange itself around her, it could darn well understand her mumbling without her having to look insane by talking to a building aloud. Really, though, her frustration was purely for herself. If she hadn’t been so squeamish about looking like a swot, bringing her book bag to breakfast on the weekend, then she wouldn’t have had to run back up to the tower to get it, and she wouldn’t now be running late and risking Severus thinking she was standing him up.

That truly would be the worst outcome. The last thing she wanted was to upset him. Lily was still so sensitive, perhaps even overly so, to how despondent Sev had been when they’d been sorted into different houses. Apparently that mattered, though she still didn’t understand why. She saw no obstacle in it—besides the inconvenience of too many staircases and too many hallways between them, but that was small compared to the comfort of a best friend. Even if said staircases and hallways were making her late.

A determined little shake of her head, a frowning glare at the unknown path before her, and then Lily turned around on her heels and headed the other way. Apparently the moment had set her head straight, or shown the castle she meant business, because the next corner she turned down revealed the exact path she needed. Letting out a relieved sigh, she grinned as she hurried the rest of the way to their appointed meeting place. Her book bag bounced against her hip, and she hoped the bits and sundries she’d pilfered from the breakfast table weren’t too smashed as to be unappetizing; the goal was to not need to interrupt their solo afternoon with needing to join the masses for lunch. Besides, it would be much more exciting and adventurous to eat pilfered biscuits in the forgotten corners of the castle. 

“Sev! I’m sorry, I had to go back to the dorms to get my things and then I got all turned around—” The candid confession spilled out before she could think, and Lily flushed with embarrassment. Even though she was certain Severus would understand and wouldn’t judge her for it, plenty others would. She’d noticed that already; older kids snickering at what she thought were simple questions or honest confusion, or perhaps even worse, too patiently explaining the answers to her as if they were obvious. Perhaps that was the problem; that they were obvious to everyone but her. “Anyway. I’m here now! And I brought sandwiches too, so we don’t have to worry about anything until dinner.”

[ruwonid-blog]

something.

@idjuniper​ > recording studio, chain station release. it’s like i know but i don’t it’s like i know but i don’t we’re iffy

we’ve gotten you a song! msg had delivered it to him like some divine message. a smile on his manager’s face, beaming proud. he half expected for a small children’s choir to shuffle their way into view and spring up into song. not as exciting as it’s trumped up to be, but ruwon expects the fanfair is meant to offset his own personal schedules and desires. but ruwon, remember, we got you that song! with a girl no less! the next time he decides to start whining about his own personal interests. what folly. 

it’s not a bad song though, and it’s not a song he has to dance to. all things considered, it’s not a terrible schedule. and they’re now pinging high enough on the radar that kjh and their up and coming dazzling brilliance is willing to work with them. when ruwon gets the schedule to meet up with juniper, he nearly laughs. it’s a bit funny, throwing two underdogs of the industry together. maybe not underdogs anymore. adopted strays. 

ruwon doesn’t know her well despite the similar circumstances of their group, but he discovers that she’s easy to work with after they sit down to talk, and then get to work recording. by the time it’s scheduled for them to meet up again and finish the recording, ruwon’s looking forward to it. he needs to make room in his life for more people. that’s what he keeps telling himself, before he decides that sneaking underneath his covers to watch all the marvel movies in chronological order seems like a much better idea. but he’s all but forced to go out and meet her, so maybe it’ll end in better light than usual. 

the recording itself is peaceful enough. it doesn’t take an exorbitant amount of time to get the takes that they need. when everyone else picks up to leave, ruwon stays next to juniper. she doesn’t get up either, so he accepts his assumed social cue. “i’m still relieved at the song.” he turns a water bottle back and forth between his hands as he talks. “i have like, musical stressors after the first half of indigo.” a joke, he relies to heavily on those to limp his way through his life.but people seem to appreciate them, and it makes it easier for ruwon himself to exist. it makes it easier to find friends, and to keep them. he aims to please, he wants for people to like him. too much, really.

[ruwonid-blog]

disquiet.

@idtetsuya > practice room in msg. with all this weight on my chest can I breathe with all this hate on my head can I breathe i’m still lost on my way to success can I breathe 

indigo is reaching the tail end of their promotions for their comeback. it’s a song that suits ruwon. it’s more vocally heavy than their music was in the past, and the dance and performance isn’t at the front and center. he still isn’t sure how to feel about this change though. it’s not predictive -- what happened with indigo. ruwon is still used to skating by underneath the radar. not needing a mask when he wanders the streets. not having hoards of fans looking to tail after him. 

there were some that he knew, back then. who supported them -- that indigo of the past. and who knows why they supported them, but they did. there are so many more though now, after that reality show aired. ruwon doesn’t know what to do with this newfound fame. he doesn’t feel different, and what he’s doing ons tage isn’t necessarily different either. it’s a little mind boggling, knowing that their off chance appearance on some thought to be reality show changed the trajectory of his life. all their lives. 

he knows he should feel thankful. happy. fulfilled. something.that’s the aim of all idols, isn’t it? that feeling of found success. shouldn’t humanity have some kind of peak? a point that he can reach, plant a flag into place. so he can declare he climbed that arduous mountain of humanity, he reached his purpose and fulfilled his goals, and now he means something. but that’s not how it feels. not how it works. ruwon somehow feels even emptier than before, and he can’t explain why. he likes these songs more, and he likes the opportunities he’s been afforded as of late. likes that more money is being used to pay off his debt, too. 

and still, that question of why lingers, it cloaks him. like fabric, waited down and dripping with water. it sags at his shoulders and leaves him in chills. it pushes him back into a practice room, one he doesn’t really want to be in. one that used to practically be his home, back when he had to spend double, triple the amount of time on dances in order to keep up with the rest of them. he expects it to be empty, expects to be afforded that comfort of darkness. 

the light is already on, shining in artificial sunlight. someone else is there, a familiar face, and ruwon affords him a smile when he glances up, distracted from whatever he’d been occupying himself with. “hey tetsuya. running through the dance again too?” ruwon pulls his fingers back through his hair as he speaks, pushes a baseball cap down overtop of the mess as he moves closer. 

“i think i forget it all every two weeks.” a joke, self deprecating. they’re a regular for ruwon, and he barks out a laugh immediately after. he should be at ease. they’ve been working together for years, they hadn’t ever hit a fight hard enough to call them rivals. but he isn’t. it’s always just a little awkward. a little too much. like waking up in a dream entirely naked. no matter how much ruwon tries to convince himself that it doesn’t matter, that it should be expected that a member of his own group knows so much about him, it doesn’t.