This is for my stalker, not fans or mutuals.
You can comment, like, reblog, or whatever else, I don’t care.
Only reason I am posting it here and reblogging it to my other blogs is because I know she’d read it faster here than anywhere else.
Letter to my stalker:
For over a decade I have been by your side. Not shaming or being cruel to you no matter how much you have abused me in the past. You abused my trust, break promises, and ignored me. You have treated like like shit time and time again, but I have always came back to you beg for you to don’t kill yourself, just so I don’t lose the person I hold closest to me. The one person that was a light in my rather dark and fucked up life.
I thought I deserved to be slut shame for being okay with writing a poly relationship.
I thought I deserved to be slut shame when I wrote a character that had a sexual past.
I thought I was in the wrong for all these years.
I was fine with being the make shift leader but really following your lead for YEARS now.
I was okay with being the butt of everyone’s jokes in my day to day life because of fact that you were the one that has been arrested multiple times yet I’m the so call badass, it was a front all this time. It was a front that I wasn’t hurt and breaking on inside.
Love makes you blind.
Thank you for opening my eyes to the abuse over the years. Not listening to me. When I didn’t do what you want, you threaten to kill yourself and disappear for hours on end making me and my brother worry that you actually killed yourself. For pushing me to my limits and on purposely triggering me in small ways to keep me in line.
You are worst than my abusers in the family because unlike them, you hide what you do. You call me a liar when I never lied.
You call me a rapist when you know I was molested as a child and now scared shitless of sex. I am okay with writing it, but there is limits to how far I can go with masturbation much less sex itself thanks to my molester.
You are the one that dragged him into this after years of promising me you’d NEVER drag him into one of our arguments.
I made this blog to avoid triggering you. I made this blog to express myself. BUT NO now I am writing for Creepypasta and SCP I am a rapist when you didn’t give a fuck when I wrote smut for Marvel, DC, Anime, or anything else.
Meeting people by bonding over a fandom, that is what all this is. Most of them I am friendly with but they aren’t actually my FRIENDS yet. Some are on high road direction of becoming my friends, but they aren’t yet.
I didn’t want to drag other people into this fight but you keep dragging more and more people into it.
You dragged my family into this! THE FAMILY I HAVE TOOK ON TO REPLACE THE ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT FAMILY I HAVE IN REAL LIFE!
You hurt me time and time again. You refuse to listen and instead claim I broke promises I never fucking made! You claim I am not listening when you aren’t listening to me about how much you are hurting us. How much you keep calling me a liar for making promises and not keeping them up. For not CARING.
My sin is caring to much. Turning a blind eye to the abuse you have caused me mentally. Your control over me.
I am done. I am not taking it anymore.
If i get hurt by these people that I meet, then it would never be as badly as you have hurt me. You have destroyed the little hope I had left for this fucked up world. That love could overcome anything with work. But you don’t want to put work into fixing things. You just want things your way and no compromise.
So please stop stalking all my blogs, all my media pages.
Do NOT claim that this is proof that you were always right either. I am not leaving you. YOU left me years ago when you started to abuse me. I stayed by your side for so long even though it was killing me but I am done now. I am done being hurt time and time again and thinking “I deserved this. I was in the wrong.”
I’m am sorry that I can’t help you anymore. I hope you seek help and maybe when you are better, you can contact me again and we can try to be friends. Though you will always have a piece of my heart, I don’t think I can ever let you fully back in again now my eyes are open to the abuse you have done.
I am sorry.
