#(they're mates)

[amararala]

i just think he's neat

[atrashbearthattrashes]

New Chapter of Charting the Course

So the last chapter in my slutfest of Az has been lingering on my computer for over a year and I finally decided FUCKIT it's going up.

Enjoy this incredibly dub-con ending.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[ialwaysgobacktoit]

Time to rest your weary head - PART 12

OK. this was officially the most fun chapter to write y'all! And since the last one was so short (and ended in a cliffhanger lol) I decided to free you of your anxiousness and hand you now......... THIS RIGHT HERE. enjoy, folks!!!

Chapter List

@madie2200 @starbornsinger @katiebellf

She could do this. She could do this. Gwyn kept mentally repeating to herself for the few seconds between her subtle decision of telling Azriel about their mating bond and right before she opened her door. She couldn’t hear anything below the thrumming of her heart, blood pounding in her arched ears as she inhaled deeply.

She was a Valkyrie. Confessing her feelings to a male was nothing. Except that it wasn’t just any male. It was Azriel, the Spymaster of the Night Court, the Shadowsinger, and her friend. Her mate. And she wasn’t like any female. She was hurt, and tarnished and –

No. She wasn’t about to fall in that pattern of behavior. She was so much more than what happened to her. She was the rock against which the surf crashed. Nothing could break her. Not again, and not anymore.

So she was determined to let it all out. She needed to be fair, for both of their sakes. She owed it to herself, that honesty and truth. And her newfound friends and family were there to prove it. She could be happy, she should be happy. And although having fears was a part of the process, hers wouldn’t dominate her anymore. She could still walk on her own pace and be mindful of her boundaries.

She opened the door. She would do it, she would talk, and Azriel would listen –

Like summoned by her thoughts, there he was; standing in her doorway, a hand in the air, as if he was seconds away from knocking. Still dressed in that beautiful evening attire, the black silk of his tunic matching the color of his raven hair, staring at her with such unwavering intensity that made her knees buckle.

She opened her mouth to speak but he beat her to it.

“Gwyn, I…” He looked hesitant, and she didn’t know if that made her feel more or less nervous.

Seeing his pause, she motioned for him to come in, desperately trying to calm her racing mind to what could he possibly be doing there. She didn’t dwell on it any longer as she now faced him, and observed quietly as he crossed his hands behind his back, refraining himself. She clutched her hands on the folds of her skirt, both because they were trembling and because she felt that, if she didn’t, she would boldly cross the room and reach for his face.

“I don’t know how to tell you this.” Azriel started, and they stood a considerable distance apart. His shadows seemed to be in an internal dispute, some trying to go for her and others hovering on his shoulders. His voice was low and quiet, sending shivers through her spine as he continued: “But I won’t keep this to myself anymore. I could do it, but I just… It wouldn’t be fair to you. To us.”

She swallowed hard, and her heart beat faster in her chest. “Az, I…”

“Please.” He softly interrupted her “Just… Let me say this.”

All she could do was nod as he turned away from her stare, his gaze lost within the logs of the crackling fireplace in front of him. Something in his tone made her tear up. Mother, she didn’t even have the chance to say how she felt and now there he was: melancholy in his voice as if he was going to deliver some bad, bad news.

But then…

“You must know something. But first, you need to know that you don’t have to do anything about it if you don’t want to. I would respect and understand any decision you’d make, always. Even if you didn’t want to ever see me again” The words poured from his mouth, as if he had the same intent as her: to let it all out. His sharp inhale and the way he met her stare, worry and insecurity behind that casual indifferent mask, shattered her.

She could suddenly see both of them in the theater again; staring into each other’s eyes like it was only them in the whole world. That damned pause after he called her beautiful, pure emotion in his voice. With a jolt, she knew what he was going to say next.

“And I would do it without even thinking twice because, Gwyn, we’re-”

“Mates.” She completed his sentence, softly.

His eyes grew wider as a few shadows swirled around her, agitated.

“You knew?”

She nodded, closing her eyes slightly before opening them up again, taking a couple of mind stilling breaths that allowed her to focus.

This is it. You can do this.

“Since my birthday.” She saw the way his posture switched from caution to rather curious, some tension easing up on his shoulders as he took in her words. “I was hoping… I was giving some time, trying to understand how I felt, how to tell you this... But after tonight, I just had to let you know. I was meaning to come after you, but it seems you beat me to it.”

She knew he was gathering up the pieces by the way his eyes were quickly scanning her, his brows slightly furrowed as he read into the looks and blushes she cast him on training, how differently she talked to him on the first days after his surprise.

“Why? I mean” He corrected himself, hoarsely “Why after tonight?”

“Because tonight was amazing” She took a step towards him, watching him nervously, barely hiding the small smile spreading on her face now, her eyes glimmering “Because you are amazing, Azriel. And I like you a lot.”

He also took a step and she observed joyfully as wonder appeared on his features, his eyes widening just a little at her words, his heart racing. Just like hers. His shadows were all over the place right now, as if he’d forgotten all his worries. Or if he didn’t particularly care about them at the moment.

“I like you too, Gwyn. A lot.” His voice rumbled through her spine, making her shiver. Mother, he was handsome. She closed their distance in one last step, and now they were face to face, staring at each other with such intensity it could have made her melt. “And I will do whatever you’d like. I mean it, if you don’t want to accept the bond, I would-”

“I know.” She quietly interrupted him, nodding.

They stood quiet, staring at each other for a couple of seconds, and Mother if she couldn’t help the shift in her tone now, the way her voice automatically lowered and softened, before she found herself asking:

“And what do you want to do?”

He watched her every breath, assessing her with a different kind of emotion in his darkened eyes as she stared back at him expectantly.

“I want you, Gwyn.”

His longing, warmth, careful words and actions, the way he pronounced her name, it all caused her heart to burst with passion, heat spreading through her. Like she was everything he could think about, but he was still concerned he’d make her uncomfortable.

So she finally gave in to that aching need of touch and reached to his face, her thumb caressing his cheek. She leaned in and placed a feathery kiss on his lips, giving in to the jolt of electricity that sparked at the mere touch. When she pulled away, seconds later, she found him gazing at her lips, before meeting her stare again. His eyes had widened just a little, as if he was trying to process what had just happened.

He placed his palm on top of hers that was still on his cheek, his shadows encircling them. She could hear his heart even clearer now that they were so close, and a soft smile bloomed on her mouth. With his left hand, he tugged a strand of her copper hair behind her ear, brushing lightly against her face.

She saw the question in his eyes before he even asked, his voice like velvet, eyes tinged with mischief and carefulness and heat: “May I kiss you back, Berdara?”

“Of course, Shadowsinger.” She breathed.

When they lips met again, it felt like the world stilled around them. It was so much more than she thought it could be. Azriel gently cupped the back of her neck, sending shivers all over her, while she rested her free hand on his chest. The kiss was gentle, and soft, but also a bit more intense than the one before and filled with an array of emotions Gwyn couldn’t begin to convey. Suddenly she recognized she’d been waiting for this for a long, long time. To be in his arms, to taste his lips...

His hand left hers and stopped at her waist, and they parted. She was panting lightly as she took in his ragged breathing, his darkened eyes and swollen lips. What a delightful sight.

She couldn’t help smiling once again, which turned to a breathless chuckle as he grinned back before resting his forehead on hers. They stood like that for a few seconds, breathing each other’s scent and smiling like fools, and Gwyn allowed herself to close her eyes and fully take in the moment. The way she felt at ease and relaxed at his presence, in his embrace. The pleasant heat that spread through her as the kiss deepened, that thrilling sensation that threatened to leave her comfort-zone, and how she didn’t seem afraid of it – of everything that came with it. She wanted to face that with him, someday. Right now, she would just enjoy being in his arms.

After a moment, her curiosity settled in and she realized he hadn’t told her for how long he knew about it:

“Az” A soft hum in response “Since when did you know?”

She lifted her head and faced him fully, waiting for his response. Admiring those beautiful features and lines that hid so much from the world, yet were so openly gazing her now.

“I heard you.” Seeing how confusion stamped her face, he let out a soft chuckle “Singing, one night after our dinner at the River House. I was at the training ring, and your voice… It beckoned to me, to my shadows, and my feet moved at their own accord until I stopped at your door. It was the most beautiful thing I ever heard.”

She raked her fingers through his silk raven hair, and marveled at how smooth it was. His eyes shut for a moment, before he hugged her, keeping her close.

“You know” His voice was a sweet tune on her ears, his breath on her neck “With the mating bond acknowledged, I don’t think we’ll be able to cover our scent. Everyone will find out.”

“About that” She almost forgot. “We’re not the only ones to know.”

He faced her again, brows furrowing.

“Oh?”

“Rhysand.”

She could see by his amused laugh that was not the answer he thought he’d have. But he let her continue as she went through what had happened all those nights ago. How Rhysand had figured it out, the same night that Azriel did. After she was done, Azriel just shook his head lightly, still with that dimpled half-smile.

“I could talk to him, if you’d like privacy for some time. Although my shadows could perhaps cover the scent, I think the spell Helion taught him while Feyre was pregnant would prove more effective.”

Gwyn mulled over his words, considering. Her most reckless self wanted to be carefree and confident and discard the offer; but she thought the pressure of everyone knowing about them might be just a little too much. Baby steps, she reminded herself. There was no problem in hiding from the world what they had for now: what mattered was that they both knew it. And she wouldn’t risk her new relationship with Azriel for her pride: she needed to respect her boundaries, after all. And she knew he would be on board with whatever she decided.

So she nodded.

“Only for a while; I think it would be good.”

“For as long you want, Gwyn. You know we’ll do this at your pace.”

It was like he had read her thoughts. She chuckled quietly in response, and without saying anything, closed their distance once again to brush her lips against his; Mother, she would never get enough of that feeling. Of the fact she could just lean in and kiss him. Something so intimate yet she once thought it would never happen to her; she never thought she’d want it to.

But she did, so badly, and he was there, with her, one arm pulling her close and the other set firmly on her hips, and she enlaced her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss even more, feeling his warmth and his grip around her, gentle yet steady… She let out a sigh, and heard a small groan in response from him as he reluctantly pulled away, breathing heavily and facing her with a growing need that made her stomach flutter. They would go slow, and they both knew it, in a silent agreement. That’s why he parted their kiss.

“Are you going right away?” Her voice was no more than a whisper as she tried to pull herself together.

“I don’t particularly want to, but I will. I’ll see if Rhys is still up.” He sighed, murmuring. “You should get some sleep.”

She hugged him tight, placing her head on his chest and savoring the sensation of his muscles under his silk tunic. Pressing one ear to his broad torso, just like she did the night of her birthday; feeling his warmth, breathing in his scent. She didn’t want to let go just yet, but she could feel the tiredness creeping in, the adrenaline now leaving her body. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Az.”

They parted at last and she held his hand and stare, interlocking their fingers as they moved slowly towards her door, shadows finally gathering around their master. She stood by her threshold and watched as he lifted her hand slowly to his lips and kissed it, never taking his eyes off her.

“Good night, Gwyn.”

She fell asleep just a few seconds after laying down, almost believing it had all been a dream; the tingling sensation on her hand and mouth and the way his scent lingered on her, lulling her to sleep, the only things to prove her otherwise.

[imperabug]

Why am I considering having Toki speak no English in my Lost Boys AU?

[unofficiallymarriedtochrisevans]

Bucky: Why do you look so constipated?

Sam: No reason.

Earlier that day...

Redwing: Your mate gave me treats today.

Sam: Mate?

Redwing: Yes. The one you call 'Bucky'.

Sam: M - mate?