#)omf g

[that-guy-sleepy-miles]

My mom bought the new Puss In Boots and I'm losing it it's so good I love this stupid silly little movie I love how earnest it is I love the character designs I-

[lichaltar]

is it your red moirail?

“You fuckers really be diggin huh?” His eyes narrow for a moment before his nose scrunched up. 

[quick-drawn-a]

[TXT] QUICK I NEED A TERRIBLE JOKE.

@gloryblaed

          He came to the right place.

     But with so many jokes available in his arsenal and no other direction given but “ terrible ”, it was hard to choose just one.

SMS [Gramps] : I don’t think any a my jokes are terrible but

SMS [Gramps] : do ya know the best way to stop a chargin bull?

     He paused but only because he couldn’t contain his own laughter long enough to finish the next text.

SMS [Gramps] : ya cancel it’s credit card!

[freedthedark]

tfw when you find one of your best friends asleep in front of your door, in the middle of the night/very early in the morning

tfw you’re worried that something might have happened or upset said bro

tfw he tells you that he was guarding the door

tfw it then turns out that your bro was absolutely being a chaotic good by apparently sitting in front of your front door to keep the house shielded from possible disturbers until he fell asleep because he knows you want to spend a peaceful time with your husband after he returned

tfw you realize that your bro probably listened to you and your husband getting it on for a long time ........

[fearless2ndmate]

@picorihero

“HELL YEAH ARE WE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE???”

[cannibalmariku]

“Oh please, I’d be more then happy to put you in your place and skin you alive you little loud mouth brat.”

[xaconite-a]

joey: I’m in the mood for a quickie! kian, choking: excuse?? me?? joey: a quickie! y’know, one of those tart things! kian: .... it’s pronounced “quiche” 

[zenzinger]

Peach: yeah audrey!! 

Peach: you’re doing great sweetie!! 

Peach: you have the voice of an angel!!

Kat: your desperate is showing you fruit