I’m coming back, mainly because my group and me have talked bout it and it is mainly for them. But I’m also going to address some shit on my race, how I was born and raised and some of the shit I have had to face. I’m not naming names, I’m not pointing out groups but I do have people that have hated me here for a long while.
First of all I am a hafu, my dad was a zainichi, mom was finnish and black. Congrats we unlocked my shit. When I came here I was TWELVE and my FOB ass dad decided to move into oakcliff. That was my start in america, right there. I was raised in Japan, I go back every few years, I don’t live there right now nor do I see myself living there anytime soon. There’s just not much of an urge, I’d honestly rather be gay off in some rual part of the world. I was raised by an older man who was brought up in a life where being mixed and different was NOT good, not by any means and blending into the place where we lived was important. I’m not the only asian or asian mixed person to experience this, I know a number of hafu’s irl who have gone through the same thing and have even been made to feel shame over the fact that one of their parents or both are asian.
I was told to not speak the language, not act certain ways ect, to make my father feel comfortable as well as myself in the future. Thanks to that I really don’t like speaking to people I don’t know or feel comfortable around, in japanese. I literally live with someone in this community who knew my dad, my adopted family and my background. They know how I act, talk, bathe and even smell lbr you get close to bitches. This person is @mothflosstrolls I’ve even met people in this comm irl like @trollie-polies that can definitely tell you I’m not from here nor do I look it. When my father gave me up it was because he couldn’t take care of me and he felt like he couldn’t give me the quality of life I deserved so he trusted me with his friends who could do somewhat better than him. One of them was a woman who is half lakota and mainly grew up being tossed around through the system, this person is a big part of why I look at native culture the way I do, I was raised with a lot of that around me and engrossed in it.
I lived in kyoto for the first chunk of my life, I have pictures of me and my family. I have pictures of my family and their old shrine thats passed down. I have a picture of it in my living room. I was raised by a japanese man and in the culture for my whole damn life until he died a few years back. No one has the right to tell me this isn’t mine, because while it may be different to some, and due to being raised by a man who was both japanese and koreanas well as being mixed myself, I was raised slightly different. I have plenty of proof of where I come from and WHO I come from. I may not enjoy speaking it outside of rl friends who are also mixed along with their families, but thats where I STAND with my comfort due to how I WAS RAISED as an immigrant child from a very worried old asian man.
I’ve also run into a lot, like a LOT of fake hafu’s as well as just fake people. If I’m not comfortable with you or you don’t have proof backing you, don’t expect a lot, especially when my red flags are already raised.
There’s my ted talk, thanks for reading.
