info: kim mingyu/reader (feat ot13), teen, f2l genre: fluff, romance | word ct: 5k warnings: mentions of devils lettuce summary: she never feared change, not once. not until change meant that her childhood best friend was slowly turning into her first love. note: @mingtiddies thank you for always validating me, so here have part one of a potentially five part series. and thanks to the usual suspects, @dimp1ejoon, @dreamystuffers, and @e-therealepiphany for lending a helping hand. warnings will adjust in later parts!
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five
Every day begins and ends with change. At least that’s what her father used to say when she was growing up. And if she was being completely honest she had no idea what he meant by that. Still, it was a nice sentiment, and it meant that change had never been scary for her. In fact, she welcomed it with open arms. Change wasn’t always good but it was necessary, because every day would begin and end with it.
For years there had been one resolute constant in her life, one thing that hadn’t changed. His name was Mingyu and he was her very best friend in the whole wide world. They grew up just a stone’s throw away from each other, walked to school every single day, and spent almost every single second together. It would be hard to imagine one without the other, they were kindred spirits, partners in crime, tied together by mischief and laughter.
Which was why it was so heartbreaking when he moved away.
That was the first time that she ever really hated change because suddenly she lost her movie buddy, her sous chef, her trauma surgeon, and so much more. Her dad kept reminding her that it was just another part of life, that those sorts of things happen for a reason but she didn’t care. Saying goodbye to her best friend was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do. They held each other in her driveway and cried for what seemed like hours until their parents finally tore them apart. For those two it felt like their whole world was coming to an end. Neither had dreamed of being without the other.
Despite the distance they still kept in touch. Every week she would get a letter or an email from Mingyu detailing his new life, filling her in on the things she always used to know. Sometimes he would surprise her with a phone call, sometimes they would even Skype. None of which felt like enough to her. It was a hard transition, from constant contact to fleeting moments shared across a country, but they made it work. They continued on with their lives, the one thing that they never imagined would be separated, and never admitted how much they wanted more.
Eventually all of their waiting would pay off.
After spending the majority of their high school years hundreds of miles apart, Mingyu was finally coming home. His father was being transferred back to Anyang-si just in time for their senior year and she was beyond ecstatic. In the week leading up to his arrival she made sure she had all of their favorite movies, his favorite snacks, and her mother was even making kalbi to celebrate the occasion. She wanted everything to be perfect when he walked in through that door and wasn’t going to settle for anything less.
“You’re insane.” Hansol said plainly as he watched her dart around her room like a banshee. “It’s just Mingyu, you know he’s going to be so happy to see you again that he’s not going to give a damn about anything else.”
“Just because he won’t care doesn’t mean that I don’t care.” She returned, sticking her tongue out at him while she arranged and rearranged everything within sight. “And I won’t let your negative energy drag me down.”
Seungcheol nodded in approval. “I agree with her. Stop being an ass, Hansol.”
“How am I being an ass!” He protested loudly. “I’m just saying—”
“And what you’re saying makes you sound like an ass.” Seungcheol interrupted, launching a pillow across the room. “Let her have her moment. She knows Mingyu best so if she thinks that he’s going to love this little party then he’s going to love this little party.”
“Thank you, Cheol.” She beamed. “Now, if you excuse me, I have to go hide his presents.”
Hansol scoffed quietly. “Of course she got him—”
She didn’t see how Seungcheol got him to shut up, but she assumed that the aforementioned pillow was involved.
Downstairs the rest of their friends were getting everything ready. She forgot how popular Mingyu was before he moved, which was hard to imagine while watching the dozen boys clutter up her parents tiny two bedroom apartment. A part of her felt guilty for subjecting them to such a surprisingly large gathering. But they didn’t mind, they had been friends with Mingyu’s parents just as long as she’d been friends with Mingyu. They were almost as excited as she was. Almost.
When the final hour approached, she honestly didn’t know what to do with herself. Instead of waiting patiently like everyone else she somehow found herself reorganizing everything in the fridge by food group. And then organizing them again alphabetically. When she moved on to trying to rearrange their cereals by color—they knew it was bad. The others looked on with apprehension but didn’t do anything. They knew not to disturb her no matter how much they wanted to.
She was, in a word, nervous. Even though they had kept in touch all those years, she didn’t know what to expect from her long lost friend. Maybe he wasn’t the same little boy that used to curl up with her on the couch, maybe he didn’t like spicy food anymore, maybe he suddenly hated all of the things they used to love and the whole party was going to be a bust. Maybe—maybe he wasn’t Mingyu at all. Maybe he was a simulacrum sent to replace him and slowly brainwash her until she could be replaced by yet another simulacrum and their whole world was coming to an end—
“Breathe.” Jeonghan reminded once again, a reassuring hand on her back. “Everything’s going to be fine. He couldn’t have changed that much, y’know?”
Realistically she knew that he was right, but her heart was still racing. “But—what if he has?”
“I bet he’s still that little goofball that we all know and love.” Jisoo continued. “He’s probably worried about the same things you are! It’s only natural.”
Hesitantly, she nodded. “You’re right, you’re right. I’m just freaking myself out at this point.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all week.” Hansol interjected. “You’re out of your—”
“Shut up, Hansol.” Eleven boys said in near unison.
“Don’t listen to him.” Jisoo smiled brightly. “He’s just jealous that you didn’t make this big of a deal for his birthday last year.”
“I am not—!”
Armed with the pillow of silence, Seungcheol took care of him once again.
“Thanks guys.” She exhaled. “I honestly don’t think I’d be this put together if you weren’t all here.”
“Where else would we be?” Chan chimed in. “Your mom makes the best kalbi.”
She laughed quietly. “Thanks for the support, Chan.”
“Anytime.” He returned with a smile.
For a brief moment she almost felt at ease, Soonyoung was very quick to ply her with strawberry milk every time she started to feel antsy again. Jihoon was helping her mom cook, Wonwoo was having a lengthy philosophical debate with her dad, Seungkwan was trying to get a game of charades started for some reason, even Minghao was doing his best to monitor everyone as the self-appointed coaster police. Things seemed to be winding down.
Which she should’ve realized was just the calm before the storm.
“Look alive people! He’s here!” Seokmin suddenly shouted. “Battle stations everyone!”
Junhui elbowed him in the ribs. “Jesus Christ we’re not at war, stop yelling, your humor isn’t helping the situation.”
Casting a glance at her, Seokmin quickly ducked his head and left the room. “I didn’t say anything!”
She was, in another word, panicking. Whatever sort of calm she felt was immediately replaced by her skyrocketing blood pressure. Mingyu, her Mingyu, was just outside her front door. Someone who literally meant the whole world to her, someone she could talk to about anything, someone who could’ve easily become a stranger in their years apart. Someone she couldn’t risk losing.
Ding.
Her heart felt like a sledgehammer against her ribs as Jeonghan ushered her towards the door. She could feel her heels grinding into the carpet, putting off the very moment she had been anticipating for years. Somehow meeting him again was scarier than saying goodbye. She didn’t think it was possible and yet there she was, teeth practically chattering.
“You can do this.” Her mom reassured her. “It’s just Mingyu, if you open that door I promise you that everything will be fine.”
Chewing on her bottom lip, she knew that she couldn’t stave off the inevitable forever. No matter how much it terrified her. She had to trust that 17 year old Mingyu and 13 year old Mingyu were not that different. She had to. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hand on the handle and turned it slowly. More slowly that many thought physically possible. Then the door opened and—
Her heart stopped.
Standing in front of her wasn’t the scrawny little kid she used to race bikes with down the street. And it most certainly wasn’t the brat that climbed on top of counters to reach the top shelf. The boy that had to style his hair to get on rides at the carnival, the boy that got asked “where’s your mother?” more times than she could count, the boy that thought striped shirts and plaid pants was high fashion, was nowhere to be found.
Instead she found herself face to face with a handsome giant that easily dwarfed her, wearing a tight fitting turtleneck and a blazer that screamed “Clive, I’d like to take the helicopter today.” Her eyes scanned every inch of him, trying to find some semblance of familiarity in the giant’s chiselled face but she couldn’t find any. Whoever that man was, it wasn’t her Mingyu.
Except it was.
“I can’t believe it!” He exclaimed in a much deeper voice than she remembered, bending at the knees so he could wrap his arms around her and lifted her into the air. “You haven’t changed one bit!”
Well you most certainly have!
While he twirled her around in circles she felt like she was having an out of body experience. She couldn’t help but wonder what happened to Mingyu in Busan because the little kid that she knew and loved wouldn’t have been able to pick her up in a million years. She used to be able to pick him up. Feeling his strong arms around her she could hardly remember those moments.
“Damn.” Seungcheol whistled. “What do they feed you out there? Miracle grow?”
Chuckling, Mingyu stopped twirling and put her down. “I know, I had a bit of a growth spurt. I didn’t think it was that drastic.”
“Not that drastic?” Junhui scoffed from the doorway. “You were a little runt before you left, now I’m sure that you’re the tallest one in the room.”
And he was right, Mingyu was the tallest. Somehow he went from being the third shortest (next to Jihoon and Chan) to being roughly the size of a mountain. The contrast was unbelievable, and that wasn’t even the most unsettling part.
Mingyu was attractive. Really attractive.
Instead of feeling a warmth in her chest when she looked at Mingyu, like she used to long ago, suddenly she felt something else entirely. Her mouth was dry, her face was burning up, and her stomach was churning like the South China Sea. She had only felt like that a couple times before, after eating her little cousins Sunday Surprise and when she saw Park Jimin for the first time. The thought that Mingyu could fall into either of those categories—terrified her.
She didn’t move from her spot from the open doorway as Mingyu made his rounds, hugging and lifting the friends he hadn’t seen since junior high. He was so magnetic as he drifted from friend to friend, laughing and smiling like he had never been happier. She couldn’t help but watch him but also didn’t make any effort to join in the celebration. Something was keeping her from enjoying the party she put so much time and energy into making perfect.
“Sweetie?” Her mom prompted, having sensed her apparent distress from the kitchen. “Is everything alright? You look a little pale.”
“I’m fine.” She managed despite the dryness tearing up her throat. “Perfectly—fine.”
Jeonghan came up beside her. “See? Mingyu hasn’t changed at all, you were freaking yourself out over nothing at all.”
I’m not so sure about that.
“Do I—” Mingyu started suddenly, sniffing the air. “Do I smell eomma’s kalbi by any chance?”
Her mom smiled proudly. “Of course, nothing but the best for you my dear.”
“When is it gonna be ready?” He asked sheepishly. “Five minutes, ten minutes…”
She laughed. “Since you’re the guest of honor I guess we can let you eat a little early.”
“You’re the best!” He exclaimed, kissing her mother on the cheek and darting towards the kitchen. “I’ve missed your home cooking!”
Once he was out of sight, she grabbed an unassuming Hansol by the arm and dragged him into the other room. She needed to get her rambling thoughts off her chest before she imploded on the spot.
“Hey!” He protested. “Watch the nails, this is real genuine fake leather you’re digging into here.”
“Does it look like I care about your jacket?” She hissed, looking over her shoulder. “I need to ask you something and you’re not allowed to tell anyone we had this conversation.”
He eyed her suspiciously as he rubbed his arm. “Alright, I guess I’ll bite. What’s up?”
“Mingyu!” She exclaimed.
“What about him?”
“What do you mean what about him? Am I the only one seeing this?” She asked, gesturing broadly to Mingyu in the distance. “He’s—he’s different! Like—completely different!”
Hansol rolled his eyes. “You’re being overdramatic, as usual. So he got a little bit taller, what’s the big deal?”
“The big deal?” She repeated in exasperation. “The big deal is that when Mingyu lived down the street he was just some goofy dorky kid that could barely tie his shoelaces without tripping. He tucked in his shirts and had a rilakkuma backpack! In what world is that the same kid? He was—he was never this hot! ”
Stifling a laugh, Hansol put a hand on her shoulder. “I think it’s safe to say that you’ve got a bit of a lady boner for your best friend. And that is honestly hilarious.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Hansol I swear to God I’m going to smack you. I—I don’t have a lady boner for him. I’m just—I’m just a little taken aback by his new found appeal. That’s all.”
“Oh, is that so?” He asked, clearly amused. “Is that why your face is all red? Because you’re taken aback?”
Pulling out her phone and turning on the camera she couldn’t believe the blush that had creeped up her neck and managed to make her look like a ripe tomato. She was in some deep trouble. Especially if anyone with a louder mouth had noticed.
“So—so if Mingyu left looking like his usual goofball self and I felt nothing towards him,” She started quietly, “does that make me shallow now that he’s this attractive stud and suddenly my heart’s all doki doki?”
“Sorry to break it to you but, yes.” Hansol confirmed. “It does.”
She groaned loudly and crumpled to the floor. “Hansol, help me. What do I do? I don’t want to have a lady boner for Mingyu, that’s just—that’s just plain awkward!”
“Not to mention gross.” He chimed in. “Hearing you say lady boner over and over again is kinda disgusting.”
“You are not helping!” She whined, looking up at him in desperation. “How do I not have a—a thing for my best friend!”
“Well, the simple answer would be to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend so you wouldn’t think about him anymore.” He offered. “But we all know how well that’s been going for you so far.”
Glaring at him, she crossed her arms in a huff. “Don’t you know how to make a girl feel good. Besides, you’ve never had a girlfriend or boyfriend either if I’m not mistaken.”
“Yeah, true.” He admitted with a shrug. “But I also don’t care about that crap. Doesn’t count.”
“Would it kill you to be a decent human being for three minutes?”
Looking back, she was shocked to see Wonwoo of all people standing in the doorway. He usually wouldn’t be bothered by her qualms. It seemed like a lot of things were changing that day.
“Okay, so here’s what you’re going to do.” Wonwoo started. “First, you’re going to stand up and get back in that party because if I have to hear you say lady boner one more time I’m going to lose it. Second, you’re going to have a conversation with Mingyu and put an end to this whole ordeal. If there’s one thing I can promise you it’s that despite the new packaging, Mingyu hasn’t changed at all. He’s still the dork you grew up with. Scout’s honor.”
“Weren’t you kicked out of the scout’s?” Hansol chuckled.
“Anyways.” He continued, levelling a vehement look at his childish friend. “My point still stands. And if you start to feel overwhelmed Soonyoung went to go get you some more strawberry milk since you already drank it all.”
She let out a sigh of relief. “Bless that Kwon Soonyoung. I don’t know where I’d be without that man.”
“I really don’t get why strawberry milk calms you down.” Hansol snickered quietly. “You really are a strange one.”
“Says the one rapping about apple juice watching sing street.” She countered almost immediately. “What does that say about you?”
While doing his best to hide the blush creeping across his cheeks, Hansol pursed his lips in frustration. “I showed you those lyrics in confidence.”
“Well then maybe you should treat me better so I don’t spill your secrets all over the linoleum.” She returned. “Ever think of that?”
“Guys, can’t you bicker like an old married couple another time?” Wonwoo interjected suddenly. “Because I’m pretty sure that Seokmin brought his stash with him and I’d love to get a couple hits in before this whole awkward encounter gets underway.”
“Why didn’t you say so sooner?” Hansol laughed, starting for the other room with Wonwoo. “This conversation would’ve been much better if I was high. Basically any conversation with her is better when high.”
“You know I can still hear you right?” She halfway called after them, chuckling underneath her breath. “Alright, I can do this. I can get through this. He’s just Mingyu, I’m just me, and just because he looks like he stepped straight out of a Calvin Klein photoshoot doesn’t mean that anything has changed. And even if it has, change is no big deal. I’m not afraid of change. Not at all.”
Except maybe she was. Just a little bit.
After smoothing out her dress and pretending that it did something to help ease her nerves, she walked back into the living room like nothing happened at all. The few who noticed her return seemed to have a vague understanding of what went on. She wasn’t surprised. Her group of friends were a bunch of intolerable gossips so it wouldn’t be long before they all knew the gritty details anyway.
“There you are!” Mingyu exclaimed, completely oblivious as always. “Your dad broke out the champagne and Seokmin already put away almost half the bottle, hurry before you miss it!”
Her jaw dropped as she eyed her father. “So when I finished out last year at the top of my class I got treated to McDonald’s but when Mingyu comes back home he gets champagne? Do I need to remind you that I’m your child? Not this giant lug?”
While Mingyu guffawed over being referred to as a lug, her father stated plainly, “Well it’s not everyday that your long lost son returns home. Naturally it calls for a celebration!”
“Ouch.” Hansol snickered from the couch. “It’s gotta suck not being the favorite child when you’re the only child.”
Sticking her middle finger in his face, she turned her attention to her mother. “Am I really the second favorite?”
“Who wants kalbi!” She deflected easily. “First come first serve!”
Her jaw dropped. “Eomma!”
Having dinner with Mingyu and all of their friends had always been an experience, and somethings never change. They were all shoulder to shoulder at a table that comfortably sat six, maybe eight people, but they were easily double that count. For the entirety of the meal she had someone’s elbow in her side, someone else’s glass in front of her, and someone grinding their heel into her foot. It surely sounded uncomfortable, but for her it was her saving grace.
It helped distract her from the fact that she was literally pressed against Mingyu and her internal body temperature was skyrocketing. And it wasn’t helping much at all.
All around the table her friends were juggling conversation after conversation like seasoned pros and all she had to offer were clipped responses and choking sounds. Beside her Hansol was clearly amused since he was the most aware of her struggles and the one friend you never wanted to see your weaknesses. She had to pointedly ignore his quiet jeers while simultaneously trying to convince herself that everything was fine.
She really didn’t know what was wrong with her, why she couldn’t hold it together for more than five minutes without dissolving into a puddle of goo. If she had a crush on Mingyu, which she sorely wished wasn’t the case, he wouldn’t be the first. Or the second. Or even the third if she was being perfectly honest. She had spent most of her high school career pining after guys and girls that were way above her social pay grade. If there was one thing she was good at, it was being painstakingly awkward and being able to hide it from the world.
Mingyu, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have any issue at all. He was talking the entire time, answering questions and filling in the dots of his life with a trademark smile plastered on his face. It was almost like he never left, that’s how perfectly he found his way back into her life. She was the disfigured puzzle piece, the one that didn’t belong, and it broke her heart a little.
Once everyone was done, most of the boys started to help her parents clean up like well trained huskies. They had been to enough of her family gatherings to know the drill. Many hands make light work and for that fact alone she was grateful to be friends with a dozen or so boys. The only ones that were nowhere to be found were all members of what she affectionately referred to as “team green”. Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Hansol, and Seokmin. They were no doubt in her basement with the faulty smoke detector. She made a mental note to burn some incense later.
“Honey, can you and Mingyu start putting away chairs?” Her mother asked politely. “Your father’s back is acting up again.”
Swallowing nervously, she nodded. “Y-yeah, sure. No problem.”
The one thing she was dreading above all else was being alone with Mingyu. Without the safety net of her friends and family she couldn’t predict the nonsense that was bound to spill out of her absurdly dry mouth. Her brain was reduced to little more than dirty thoughts and all she wanted to do was take a cold shower. She desperately hoped that she’d be able to hold it together for a few moments more.
You can do this. She reminded herself again and again. Think about Mingyu eating dirt, or crying over dramas, that’ll help.
It didn’t.
“How about you stack and I lift?” Mingyu offered innocently. “There aren’t many, we should be done quickly.”
Fearing her voice, she simply hummed in approval and got started. She was folding up chairs and pretending like Mingyu wasn’t boring holes into her head with his perplexed gaze.
Can hell open up and swallow me whole already?
“Alright, what’s going on with you.” He finally asked in that surprisingly deep voice of his. “You’ve been acting weird all night. Spill.”
“I’m not acting weird you’re acting weird.” She countered weakly. “I’m just really focused on these chairs is all.”
Mingyu rolled his eyes. “Just like you were really focused on the three dozen napkins to tore to ribbons underneath the table? Don’t think I didn’t notice that.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She mumbled, gesturing to a stack of chairs. “I think you’re putting off having to lift all these heavy chairs. You can take two at a time if you need to.”
As he scoffed, he looped his arm through five chairs. “Yeah, I’m putting it off alright.”
Watching him lift the chairs like they weighed little more than paper, her heart skipped enough times to potentially warrant a trip to the emergency room. He really wasn’t the same Mingyu that struggled with his school books every single day. This Mingyu was far more dangerous, more sexy, more—
“Shit!”
Clumsy?
He hadn’t even taken two steps towards the closet before tripping over an untied shoelace and toppling gloriously to the floor. Watching him fall like a great oak was vaguely reminiscent of their short stint as pole vaulters in junior high. They only went to one practice and it ended just as ceremoniously with Mingyu face down in the astroturf. The only thing that was missing were his slightly askew glasses and charmingly crooked teeth.
After standing there in silence waiting for him to compose himself, she burst out in belly aching laughter.
Finally, the illusion was shattered. The others were right, he hadn’t changed one bit. He was still the same clumsy goof she knew and loved, tripping over shoelaces and making a fool of himself just like the good ol’ days. It didn’t matter that puberty was kind to him, that didn’t change what mattered most. He was her perfectly imperfect Kim Mingyu and that’s all she cared about.
“Easy there.” She managed through bouts of laughter. “Don’t try to overwork yourself for my benefit.”
“Hey, I thought I was pretty cool.” He returned, a smile twitching at his lips. “Up until the—uh, y’know—falling over bit.”
Rolling her eyes, she offered him a helping hand. “You really were, almost had me fooled for a second there.”
“I can only try.” He said, taking her hand and pushing himself back onto his feet. “I’m just glad it finally got you out of your funk. You really haven’t been acting like yourself.”
“How am I supposed to act when my best friend shows up at the door and he looks like a complete stranger?” She scoffed. “I wasn’t entirely sure that Hansol wasn’t pulling some sort of elaborate prank on me. I wouldn’t put it past him getting my parents involved either.”
Mingyu laughed quietly. “You two have been trying to one-up each other since you were in diapers. What’s the score these days?”
“He likes to think he’s ahead but he forgets that despite his icy cool exterior he can’t keep his mouth shut for crap.” She grinned. “Every time he takes a step forward his fat mouth sends him two steps back.”
He offered her an incredulous look. “Is that so?”
“That it is.” She reaffirmed. “Did you know that he wrote a love letter to the school nurse when he was eight? He never sent it, but I bet if we get him loaded then he’ll totally recite it for us.”
Bursting out laughing, he pulled her into a tight hug. “Man, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”
She sighed into the embrace. “I missed you too.”
There was a lot that was different, about both of them, and a lot that was the same. She felt comfortable in his arms, like it was the only place she wanted to be. Now there was just a lot more of him and she couldn’t help but smile.
“Alright I hate to spoil the moment but those chairs aren’t going to put away themselves.” Her mother suddenly chastised them from the kitchen. “You guys better hurry up before I decide to eat this ice cream all by myself.”
“If you touch my samanco I will sue!” She exclaimed, running for the freezer. “I don’t know what for but I’ll figure it out!”
Her mom chuckled into her hand. “That would certainly be interesting. Just don’t touch your father’s strawberry ice cream or Mingyu’s melona bars.”
“You even got him ice cream?” She rolled her eyes. “I swear you might as well adopt him at this point.”
“Stop being so dramatic, it’s only because he’s spending the night.”
Her heart stopped.
“S-spending the night?” She managed past the lump rising in her throat. “Wh-what are you talking about?”
Her mom didn’t look fazed. “I figured it would be nice if you two had a sleepover like the good old days! Besides, he’s living down the hall so why not stay here?”
“Down the hall?” She continued to sputter. “What—are you serious? His parents—”
“Are still living in Busan.” She finished. “Haven’t you been paying attention? They let him move back here so he could finish out his senior year with you and all of your friends!”
“So he’s—” She paused to swallow. “He’s living here. In this building. Down the hall. Alone? And you want him to stay here tonight? With me?”
Her mom was looking at her like she’d grown a second head. “Yes? Why are you acting so strangely? Are you feeling okay?”
Mingyu. She thought. Hot, sculpted, tan, tall, Mingyu. In my house. Spending the night. I’m—I’m perfectly fine.
“Perfectly… fine…”
Yeah.
She wasn’t.
