Breakfast with a side of mourning
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss (friendship, mostly?) Rating: E Warnings: Mention of nose bleed
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Takes place right after 4x17 'Demonology'.
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She eventually makes her way into her apartment, her clothes heavy with melted snow and her mind heavy with Matthew. There's dried blood crusted around her nostrils and upper lip, and her throat burns from the cold air. She knew better than to walk that far in the snow with no real winter wear, but she desperately needed to feel something other than the guilt and sadness that was wreaking havoc in her soul.
She removes her long, soggy coat and hangs it up by the door - she'll wash it later - and tosses her keys on the hallway table. She turns to lock the door behind her and nearly sprints up the stairs to get into a nice warm shower.
Just as she's bolting up the stairs, she hears a solid knock at the door. She flips her left wrist over to catch the time and quirks an eyebrow. Who would be knocking on her door at nearly 10 pm?
She jogs quietly to the front door and peers through the peephole. Aaron Hotchner stands on the other side of the door, not with his usual stoic, expressionless face, but with something Emily can't quite place. She opens the door and his expression immediately changes, something more like concern and panic.
"Hotch? Are you okay?"
He blinks at her, his eyebrows shooting up. "Am I okay? Are you okay? You're bleeding."
She knits her eyebrows together and brings the side of her hand up to her nose to wipe it. Sure enough, another nose bleed. She sighs.
"Yeah," She grins sheepishly at him. "It happens when I'm outside in the cold for too long. Used to happen a lot when I was a kid." She moves to the side to let him inside so she can close the door.
He gets to her kitchen before turning to look at her again. He takes in her wet hair, her dark shirt clinging to her skin, her lips have a very faint tinge of blue and he can see the dried blood that was now being taken over by the new stream of blood dripping over her lips.
She side steps him to get into the kitchen, pinching her nose closed to stop the blood from pouring out. She reaches out for the paper towel roll and struggles to rip it off one handed so Hotch quickly moves to help her. He watches as she quickly puts it to her face, the white immediately blending to red.
"Emily, this is a lot of blood for just a regualr nose bleed." He says quietly, standing closer to her than she realized. She closes her eyes.
With her head still swirling of Matthew, and Hotch's soft concerned voice… she's afraid the final crack in the dam might break, and she refuses to ugly cry in front of her boss.
"You know what's really funny?" She chuckles, removing the paper towel from her nose, and folding it over to the other side. "It started right when I realized I was standing in front of a church." She hopes the humor can distract herself long enough to keep from breaking.
She huffs out a small laugh, he doesn't. He's just boring into her with concerned eyes. She rolls her eyes at him. "I'm okay, Hotch. Really."
She removes the paper towel. "See? It's not even bleeding anymore."
"You used to get them a lot as a kid?" He asks. He takes the bloody paper towel out of her hands and tosses it into the trash can that he's standing next to.
She bites the inside of her cheek. "Yeah. Mostly during winter. Something about the air being dry..." She fades off, and then clears her throat.
"Is there a reason your here?"
He raises his eyebrows at her and shoves his hands in his pockets awkwardly. Something she's sure she's never seen him do. Aaron Hotchner doesn't do anything awkwardly. "I wanted to apologize for earlier." His voice is soft and is eyebrows dip back down into their seemingly natural scowl-ly state.
She waves a hand at him. "All in the past, Hotch."
"No," He starts, shifting on his feet. He battles with himself on stepping closer to her and stepping further away. He eventually decides to just...not move. "I shouldn't have dismissed you like that. I should've fought harder for this case, for you..." He clears his throat.
"Rossi mentioned you walked home in the snow. I also just wanted to make sure you got home okay." He darts his eyes away from her's, hoping she didn't catch the sentiment that accidentally fell out of his mouth.
She squints her eyes, her head falling to the side to look at him. Their relationship, friendship, had gotten better since they first met. She completely understood his hesitation of her joining the team in the beginning. But since then, they've been more friendly. Hotch seemingly remembering small things about her that she would say from previous conversations, sometimes conversations that he wasn't even involved in. She never knew what it meant, if it even meant anything. But the way he's standing like a nervous high schooler talking to his crush in her kitchen at 10 pm makes her wonder even more. Or, stop wondering, really.
"Thank you," She nearly whispers. "And I understand, Hotch. Really. There was a lot of emotions webbed into this case and decisions that weren't always up to you."
They stand quietly for a moment before she straightens herself up. "Not to throw you out or anything, but it's late and I need a hot shower to dethaw myself."
He cracks a smile at her. "Yeah, of course. Sorry for interrupting." He turns to walk back down the hallway, her right behind him.
She reaches for his wrist when they get to the door. "Thanks for coming to check up on me." The smile on her face fading into an appreciative pout.
He smiles back at her. "Of course. If you need anything, I'll be by my phone. I don't have Jack tonight, so I'll probably be up working for a few more hours."
She smiles again and nods, picking at her fingernails awkwardly. "I will. Thank you again. Really."
And with that, he's out the door.
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The early morning rolls around way too quickly. The bright lights shining in through her window makes her want to kick her feet like a little kid not wanting to get up for school. Instead, she throws her blanket over her eyes and wills her brain to let her get at least one more hour of sleep. After all, she's grounded from the BAU for the next handful of days, just because it's 6 am doesn't mean she has to get up now.
Just as sleep is about to pull her back under, her phone chirps with a text message. She sighs as she blindly reaches out toward her nightstand. She pulls it under the blanket and quirks an eyebrow at Hotch's name.
Hotch: Hey, sorry if this wakes you. Just wanted to make sure you slept. If you need anything, please let me know. You should probably try to rest on your time off. Grief always has a way of sneak attacking you.
Emily: Im kinda already awake and ive never been any good at lazing around - grieving or not
She watches the iMessage bubble pop up and disappear for a good minute before she huffs out a small laugh.
Emily: You writing a novel over there?
Hotch: I was just debating on asking if you wanted to come over for breakfast? I have to go pick up Jack in a few, he'd love to see you. And it gives you an excuse to not "be lazy".
Her grin cracks open into a bright smile. Matthew was still heavy on her mind, so was all of the events of the past 48 hours, but the thought of going to her boss's house to have breakfast with him and his son, who she adores, was enough to momentarily knock the sadness out of her chest.
The wondering she was doing last night still swirling around the midst of her mourning, but she's sure this is a step in the direction she's wanted this...friendship...to go in for a long time now. Unfortunately, it took her best friend dying for it to happen. Another thing Matthew has done for her, she guesses... Emily: Yeah. That sounds really nice actually. Thank you
Hotch: Would you like for me to pick you? I can swing by before or after I get him. Emily: No thats okay, im in the mood to drive, listen to loud music and dodge pedestrians 🙂 Hotch: Ok. As your boss I have to say please don't hit any pedestrians. As your friend I have to remind you that pedestrians are 10 points, cops are 20 and the elderly are 50. That makes her bark out a laugh, flinging her blanket off her head so she can breathe. It takes her a moment for the giggling to subside before she registers that he referred to her as his "friend".
Her eyes stare at the ceiling, picturing Matthew's face once more, silently thanking him again for everything he's done for her. And what he's already doing for her now.
