good thing to be free | Jeremy & Stana
Jeremy’s House, October 5th, feat. @jerleerenner
The ride to Jeremy and Lana’s place was familiar, so much so Stana didn’t have to think about it. Opening the latch from the outside (there was a secret trick), walking around the house, all paths often taken and ... definitely taken with roughly the same intention. She had a bottle under her arm (not actually rum, but wine), Buddy trotting along beside her, happy as can be thankfully even without his big sister around and ... fuck, how did this feel like walking to her execution more than anything else since ... then? When Stana saw Jeremy, warmth and a feeling of home curling in her stomach, she knew why. She didn’t want to disappoint him - which was crazy, she knew, it wasn’t his relationship after all - didn’t want him to, at some point, think badly of her for the choices she made. But more than anything else right now, she wanted to hug her best friend and blow raspberries on the bellies of the best kids in the world and maybe get a little bit drunk. And maybe the fact that the mild sheen of tears in her eyes when she hugged Jeremy close wasn’t entirely about Jay, but also about how grateful she was to have this place, these amazing people, said all it had to about having made the right decision.
“I ... I had to try, you know? I couldn’t not ...” She said it into Jeremy’s shoulder, a little out of nowhere maybe but trusting that he’d understand. And then she had to keep hugging him because suddenly some stupid tears were coming after all and she didn’t want the kids to see. So instead, she buried her face in his shoulder and familiar smell for a few moments until she had a lid on things again and drew back. And it hurt, a lot of it did. But the small smile she threw at Jeremy when she wiped her eyes and shrugged ... well, that wasn’t even entirely fake. “I brought wine?”