100% I’d be in a toxic relationship with Rafayel if he was real. He’s so creatively intelligent. He sees the beauty in the world with such clarity and joy. I’m enamored with his eye for beauty, and I’m in love with his playfulness. When he speaks about art, I fall for (fall into) the tornado of fire that is his passion. I learn from him and acquire more of myself in doing so. I find a home in parts of him. He doesn’t communicate upfront. He is obsessively clingy. He kills for me behind my back, despite that being a violation of my principles. He is a storm. I crash against the rocks and cough out blood. He’s beautiful, and he needs me. I cradle him tenderly and he kisses my nose, chin, nibbles the top of my ears. I get lost in him. Blood drips onto the slippery stone, mixing into the sea foam. He isn’t kind to other people, but I am. He cares for me and cherishes me— but he isn’t going to care for me and cherish me in the ways I crave (in the ways Zayne does). He’s not good for me, not romantically. He scares me. My heart is screaming at me that I can’t stay. I love him. I’m enraptured by him and entrapped in the vortex that is Rafayel. I see that he’s terrified of me leaving. I see that he’s gone unloved for too long. From the bottom of my heart, from the deepest part of me, I want to give him the love he craves, the love he stalks for. The love that would heal his wounds. I want to save him. I wouldn’t leave him. That’s the thing; I wouldn’t leave him.