I won't cry for you
I won't crucify the things you do
I won't cry for you, see
When you're gone I'll still be bloody Mary
character writing meme: salome beirne (eleftheria i thanatos) as requested here
A BIT OF PROLOGUE-ING — she's a character that has undergone quite major re-design (lmao) before she was properly played. which i think deserves a (long-winded) mention. i think it takes, 6 months? from actually thinking about her to the actual forum's opening. so lots of changes ahead.
her first design involved her experiencing a mission went south which resulting in her having a comma for 2 years? and then suddenly, boom! magic awakening! after her awakening—which involves a lot of disorientation & jagged memories & major raison d'etre crisis lmao, thus she's coloring herself in bright neon bullshit while trying to fill her life with lots, lots of decoration. and pranks. and after she was awake, as a prank, selwyn (which, at this point, was like more of her age-peer than her senior) decides to quit as counselor just so sal could take over.
but i decided to scratch that because 1) i initially wanted her to have a more of an open background, not something so structured and restricted, 2) I DONT WANT TO ALSO REGISTER SELWYN GODDAMMIT. selwyn as a concept is something i can easily play tbh but also, i have played this type before.
(anyway, i still have the drabble for of first concept!sal with selwyn and i... kinda love sal in there. a bit more existential crisis-y which is. something i loved. but, well. moving on.)
still, the "open"-background-ness bite me in the ass. ish. i ended up struggling to grasp her character. which is why during term 2 (i think?) i ended up kinda filling up her background. adding npcs. selwyn-as-NPC came back, but this time as her senior. WHICH DID WONDERS, TBQH. lots of things that i wanted to explore /did/ come back, in a way that is quite different than my initial drafts.
she surprises me, in a good way(ish), is all i'm trying to say. anyway. she stems a lot from this girl too bright and too big and too ~large~ for this small town so she gotta savor things whatever, but lots of the themes i end up developing along the way, are,
1) demigod smells of sweats, blood, and tears. and she's not going to smell like that.
this quote, for me, summarized the crux of her character. she's someone who is fully aware what kind of mess that is demigod's life (lmao). she likes to make sure that she's not going to look and smell like a victim, like a hopeless person. because she isn't. she doesn't believe in fighting for ~defeating~ the enemies as much as making sure to keep herself--her bright, hard self--intact.
so. decorate yourself the way you want to be, aye. she's carrying herself the way she wants herself to be. someone crafty enough to walks in style. it annoys her that ppl would see her as some nasty victims. or some boring things.
(anw, i like the physicality of this quotes. and physicality plays an important role in writing her.)
2) she confronts/provokes as a way to affirm something.
she's not a rebel who confronts to change things or disagree (that would be friar, but that's another subject, and the way he does that is also not quite as simple as that). she's also not a stoic who endures, endures, and endures like a bedrock. she's someone who's going to face terrible things, head-on, not because she wants to fight it, but because she acknowledges it as something that exist. something that she's not exactly going to like, but she's going to face it with her own self intact, with her own style (see, point 1).
(also for more ref: nietzsche & dionysus’s tragedy & affirmation of life)
3) she lives fully as herself--in present, as if unfolding a present.
she's not someone who's going to worry a lot about what's going to happen. it's a waste of time, for her. she likes to enjoy every second, savoring times without hurrying, without ever letting anything ruin her day. she lives in her own pace. in her own dictations. although this sometimes means, well, setting aside things that she finds to be distracting, like negative emotions.
4) she treasures bonds, rship, and not abstract things. like some imaginary sides. (e.g. titan vs olympus).
abstract things are not something she enjoy. it's complicated and besides, whatever. she likes something she can actually hold, she can actually grasp, she can actually savor. grandiose idea do not interest her because it's out of her reach. but she enjoys interactions. conversations. talking to someone. creating bonds. she... finds it rewardable and much, more enjoyable.
5) — but she's not someone to tie her ankle to one relationship,
mostly because she thinks she would rather fill her live as fully as possible with rships and whatnots. she doesn't really have this "special one", the "one and only", at least for now. love is not something that should be limited, for her, after all. this might or might not change, but so far, i really can't see her tying her ankle to one thing. she likes to savor various flavors after all. and love doesn't diminish by sharing it with other people, or so she thinks.
