[MSG:] My gaydar is infallible. Trust me.
TEXT MESSAGE STARTERS, PART 1/?
iphone messages
⇨ smythe
8:49 P.M.: Normally I would drop down some mad-packed story about how I’ve been fooled once by your kind (and no, I don’t mean you prideful few who like to lay down and take what’s coming to them, I mean the whole species of meerkat and how The Lion King 1½ totes had me all kinds of shook), but I guess you might be able to sniff out your own kind. Besides, if you’re going to wind up greeting Big Daddy God to ask whether He’s a bear or not instead of whether you’re going to be passing your pancake ass into His pearly white light then at least you’re going out swinging with what you know.
10:01 P.M.: Or you would be. But you were totally wrong since he tried to slide into home and got rejected at the gate. Sorry not sorry to Mr. Clam Hands, but he had to go.