Most English language Het Romance reads as horror fiction to me, and not by the author’s intent...
There is a piece of discourse going around with some really long, really interesting reblog chains about why the genre of Het Romance (generally in the form of the Harlequin novel) is about powerful women who win in the end after using their diverse inner resources (Intelligence, courage, “womanly gentleness”) to turn an “alphahole” powerful man into someone who respects the heroine as an equal partner. And there in lies both the formula and the powerful fantasy (much like, I would say, a james bond or jason borne novel is a fantasy for some men).
The various reblog chains include some deep discourse on the pros and cons of this fantasy. I don’t even know where to begin to select one as a reblog so I am selecting none.
ANYHOW. THE INTIAL OPs DISCUSSION made me finally see why a segment of women (important: not all women) find this form of Genre Het Romance so powerful because even though I have been told for years it is a powerful escapist fantasy that is also feminist, I never got it and never understood how other people saw it as feminist UNTIL I read this aforementioned post and various reblogs that started talking about some of the issues (as in, feminist for whom?). The OP explained it so simply in so few words, and so well.
One of the things I have seen lit/book bloggers talk about --- particularly lit/book bloggers who are women who blog in english who are ethnically othered in their society (such as WOC in America, but that’s just one slice of the world’s ethnic/cultural/religious Other pie) --- is how important it is for them to have everyone be WHITE in these romance fantasies, especially THE FEMALE LEAD, because as soon as intersectional issues enter the game, the whole house of cards in this fantasy collapses.
I’d go one step further and say that the woman has to be a cis-gendered feminine woman else ... there goes the house of cards in this particular form of HIGHLY GENDERED HET ROMANCE.
And, yes, I can see it as a form of feminism but it is not mine and doesn’t address my needs, never has and never will without A LOT OF TROPE REVISION and/or REPLACEMENT. Which means I can be totally behind this kind of romance as empowering while also saying that it reads like unintended horror fiction when anything hits too close to home. It’s an intersectional problem. It is so many problems. Basically, one size does not fit all, but I cheer for whomever it does fit while trying to figure out how to make it work for me (because then it will also work for more people too).
Somewhere this all gets back to many discussions I’ve had in fandom about why certain het ships work for me but most popular het ships fail and fail hard. I’m also thankful to decades of fandom pushing boundaries on romance fiction (mostly fanfic but, as I have heard, in actual original fiction too) such that it has spaces that are addressing intersectional relationships, queer relationships, etc., in manners that keep the notion of escapism and empowering fantasy but make it work so folks like myself don’t backclick or put the book down 300 words in because we’ve had to NOPE the fuck out.
I cannot begin to describe how hard I’ve had to NOPE out of so much Het fanfic written from the female character’s POV because someone else’s escapist empowerment reads to me as the HORROR, the horrrorrrr. I have spent a decade talking to people similar-in-various-ways to myself in fandom about our experiences with this, coming up with alternate definitions for female-focused escapism in romance, about why we often prefer M/M or F/F fic, and even coming up with an entire theory-in-the-making about shipping as affordances.
And while I hesitate on posting this on tumblr ... some of my upcoming Dirge meta (which gets post on a side blog but is reposted to my main blog) talks about two M/F ships that actually work for me and they “work” for Very Different Reasons. (note that “work” is in quotes for Reasons).
I sort of suspect that if I listed all the het ships across all the fandoms where the ship works (it is not a long list, tbh), I could almost certainly cluster them all into two, maybe three categories. .... thinking I might want to do this...
As for “work” in quotes. Work means “I have an intriguing emotional relationship with the ship.” Work does not mean that I think the ship is healthy for the characters (it might be, it might not). Work does not mean that I think the ship will work or should work or will ever have an HEA (it might, it might not). Work merely means “This is Relevant to my Interests, please tell me more.”
@ageofdragon : Rather than reblog your posts (not sure you wanted those reblogged) I figured I should just respond with a new post.
Everything you said made a lot of sense. International tumblr will probably read some of these matters differently and, based on other conversations I have had with fandom, some americans will probably read some of these things differently too, but your perspective is based on your lived experience. Period. Thank you for being very straight forward.
Just wanted to say that for years I have found discussions about real world analogies for the ethnicity and nationalities of DA characters both interesting and frustrating.
It is interesting because, as you said early, Thedas is a pot of mixed cultures, concepts, and races, and two people can come to two different conclusions that both have valid evidence in the lore.
But it is also frustrating because sometimes people insists on absolutes when, as you know, there are no perfect analogies in Thedas. And then add in all the fanwank (and micro-aggressions, bigotry, whitewashing).
In the end there aren’t straightforward answers although I have seen many frustrating instances where fans talk over minorities and POCs of any kind, including people who might not use the term POC, because the term “POC” is very american and doesn’t always map to situations outside of america, plus it doesn’t really seem to have accepted categories for american people who aren’t american-white but aren’t latin@, black, or east asian.
So, using your definition, whenever a fan doesn’t map to the american concept of “yep, that’s a white person, no doubt there,” (which is similar to the british and northern european concept of white and seems, from what I have heard, *very* similar to an australian concept), I have seen far too many frustrating moments in which the non-white fan (again, using your definition) is told by fandom “nope, you are wrong to interpret this character as [insert a not-white category here] because I clearly see him/her as white, therefore they are white.”
I always find this frustrating because things just aren’t that simple and the non-white fan of a piece of English-language media always appears able to present at least one valid reasons for interpreting the character the way they do. Meanwhile white fandom (as a whole, beyond DA fandom) often tends to see characters in english language media as Default White no matter how the character is described (Hermione, for instance, although characters from the Hunger Games are far better examples of this). Even people who aren’t white but who live in white-majority/dominated nations end up carrying around a lot of white worldview baggage in their personal knapsacks that they are still unpacking.
Don’t really know what else to say beyond wishing that it was less frustrating for everyone in DA fandom (and other english-language fandoms) to accept and respect the diversity of interpretations that fans make when looking for representation among the characters who read as not white or not quite white.
I'm actually kind of looking forward to 5x15 despite the story line being somewhat (or more than somewhat tbh) questionable, because I'm really hoping we get to see Kurt acting like a person again with actual feelings and thoughts instead of a human prop. Whose only real purpose for the past 2 seasons was looking pretty next to Rachel during whatever petty/trivial story line they choose to gave her for the next 5 episodes and throwing around one liners they needed someone to say - why not the Golden Globe winning actor who hasn't had his own story line in like 2 seasons.
And I'm not even sure if I like Kurt anymore 90% of the time - not because he changed or anything but because he just doesn't have a personality or an agenda anymore. I don't know what or who I'm rooting for anymore when it comes to him? Because he just isn't really a character anymore, he's just there??
And they changed Blaine so much and I like him most of the time but sometimes they overdo it and he's just acting like a spoilt brat and not at all like the Blaine we got to know in season 2 and 3 and even part of season 4.
And I honestly don't know how I feel about all of this anymore.
I mean of course I'll wait and see what happens in New York but I'm not too optimistic about that because I'm actually 100% sure that Blaine and Sam will move out of the loft and in with each other in 5x14 and we'll hardly get Klaine acting like and actual engaged couple despite finally being in the same state and being the only couple left on the show.
I'll wait and see and I hope - I desperately hope - for there to be a positive surprise somewhere along the way but at this point I'm just so used to being disappointed by glee that I don't believe anything good will come out of it.
((Also I've really had it with their PSA episodes, just saying. And their been there - done that - Rachel story lines. I've seen it all, and I'm just so annoyed by her and her inability to learn any lessons and actually remember them 10 episodes later. And I really just don't like Rachel and I hate that Lea acts like the show is just hers/all about Rachel?? I don't mind Lea - I usually just try to ignore her - but that always rubs me the wrong way. Especially because I really don't like Rachel anymore since season 3.))
