I don't want to bother you with the angst and drama of sorts in my life but i just need to get this load of my chest.
HI, firstly I just want to thank you for following me. I really don't have an idea why you did click the follow button but thank you for still sticking.
Now, why tho?
Well you see, few weeks back, I got called by some colleagues an eyesore in the office. Initially, I felt really confused as to why because I don't recall a thing that would invoke their anger or something. Out of reflex, I just made a quick sorry and bowed then exited the room and just escaped outta there.
Why? I don't know how to handle situations with that kind of tension. I'm no good with a somewhat mob confrontation or something alike. After that, I took an absence from there about a week to focus on my uni finals and here I thought uni might make that go away but it doubled the load. I, in honesty, couldn't get if off my mind. Pondering what have I done to make them so annoyed. Then i remembered the night right after that I was brooding over it somewhere then an online friend gave me a sort of advice. But, I told her I find difficulty in confronting. tho she is right, i can't resolve something if i don't talk with then right? I am just afraid of what i may hear and truth it is.
Earlier this morning, because i am required to be back in the architect's office, I saw them and quickly hid in the bathroom. Avoiding them was the only way i know to ease the atmosphere but i still have no clue why right? this just made me look i really am guilty for my actions against them after all. and well being in a workplace like this and avoiding would displease the chief.
Aaaaaaah
so i mustered the courage to ask one of them... yes i waited patiently inside the bathroom. One did came and i was in the back. god i really do look like a stalker. A bit surprised she was, I managed to talk and asked her what i may have done to cause them such vex. Immediately, her response was simple. I was being insensitive. And there I bowed and asked for forgiveness. she did say it's fine but told me i should be more open to them as they do have an idea why im like that sometimes. it's just that it is hard open to people. i don't know when they'll start leaving me just like my parents and some dear old friends i had did. It made a scar out of me. to loose just people i treasured, i didn't want that to happen again that's why i distance a lot with people.
my callous nature was what annoyed them and here i am thinking have i caused more of this to others as well?
So I bring this back to you, dear person who is reading this. I apologize for being insensitive. If I annoy you with things or make you uncomfortable, you must unfollow me, you have too. I don't want you to feel more agitated than i already had. just that feel free to do so.
I am clingy but i can't properly show it. but i has so much respect for everyone on my dash. i've never been so happy to meet a few of you online-wise and really even want to be friends with you but my clashing personality keeps me from doing so because in all honesty, i just want to fangirl more with you and be happy but the catch would be can i live up to you? and that i'll just bore you out. that yes, i'm beginning to feel i am annoying you at best. I also know this would still make you uneasy but if there is that thing you have something against me please do tell me so i can properly apologize to you.
side note tho, the boss is charging me overtime because of that week absence. That means planning and designing 'till 3 am for 7 straight days. yey for exhaustion! щ(ಥДಥщ)
ah! time to leave and go home it's quarter to 3.