Weird Thoughts at 2349
While watching this video of BTS performing at the AMAs just a couple of minutes ago, I suddenly had a very dark thought from last year resurface. Some people might find it provocative. Click away if today’s not the day for an honest opinion. You have been warned.
When I watched their performance in 2017 (?) and saw all the memes of Ansel Elgort smiling and filming the performance, I remember thinking, “Wow, look at all these white people enjoying watching the Asians put up a performance, lmao. It’s like going to a zoo and watching the animals perform and getting some sick pleasure from it.”
After looking this up, I found out Ansel Elgort actually does respect BTS and their work (and it goes both ways). So my brain just made a weird connection then. And to be honest, I don’t really like thinking about race and relating every little transgression to racism, so having this thought scared me. I’ve been afraid of acknowledging it. For all I know, this could be a turning point for me ideologically.
I can already hear some people arguing that BTS is objectively good and everyone at the AMAs is enjoying the performance. And I agree -- BTS are objectively good. They clearly practised a lot; their choreography is flawless and they’re all vocally stable. Their fans are there too, so it’s not exploitative; they’re welcome there.
I think what triggered these frankly out-of-character thoughts is the fact that they’re dancing in front of a foreign audience; that 6/7 of them are essentially unable to easily communicate their needs to people around them who are supposed to help them; that their situation bears a startling resemblance to that of circus performers/animals.
I keep having flashbacks to my linguistics classes, where my teachers constantly brought up a time when African-Americans were to be of service to Caucasians as the ‘inferior race’ and were expected to cosy up to them and make them feel happy. (I just almost threw up in my mouth.) I frankly find it terrifying how I made this connection.
ETA 5/4 0016: Also, we don’t really know how hard they work behind the scenes. We know they do it ‘for ARMY’, but how much of their work involves making sure famous sunbaenims they might not like very much are satisfied? I acknowledge that this is an industry expectation, though. Personally, I dislike cosying up to people just because ‘they’re better’, so perhaps that’s me imposing my values on others. Argh, I really hate thinking about this and seeing my weird thoughts put down in words, but I need this closure...
And the more I think about it, the more I can’t help but wonder how much BTS has had to deal not just with foreign standards of them, but also people who might refuse to work with them. There are other things to consider, too: how many of the people attending the AMAs had never seen the group before then? Did any of them film them out of some sense of amusement at the novelty of their performance? Of course, I’ll never be able to get into their heads and pry an answer out of this particular demographic, but it’s something I’d really like to find out.
It seems that this group is getting more and more recognition internationally, especially after their BBMA wins. I hope this thought will leave my head soon. It’s really weird. But I won’t apologise for having thought this. It’s a real concern I’ve faced while dealing with people unlike me (who are usually superior in society’s Race Hierarchy). The fact that I subconsciously thought such a weird thing probably says quite a bit itself.