Nurullah Genç - Hindiba
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Nurullah Genç - Hindiba
Kirpik uçlarımdan kayar yıldızlar
Bilemezsin, hayal akşamlarında
Renklerini kuşatan
Damıtılmış gözyaşıdır ömrümün..
İçimde kırılan kemiklerin çadırdama seslerini dinliyorum göğüs kafesime batıyor kemiği olmayan kalbimin kırıkları hani böyle bir uçurumun dibindeyim gibi hissediyorum henüz bazı şeyler için geç değil ama okadar yorulmuşum ki düşüp te kalkmayasım var...
3 kişilik arkadaş gruplarında daima iki kişi daha yakındır ve daima bir kişi arkada kalır bence
Ma esattamente, quanto tempo si può andare avanti dormendo 4 ore a notte prima di avere un crollo mentale ed impazzire? Chiedo per un'amica
Şuana kadar dayandım ama artık kafam almamaya başladı. Artık odaya geçip yatıcam inşallah. Sabah 8 de uyanıp çalışmaya devam etmem lazım. İyi geceler.
Imagine how fucking dumb you would have to be for you to believe the man that dumped you like a year ago but wanted to keep in contact until he totally shut you out messaged you in the middle of the night saying he misses you and thinks about you daily and wants you back in his life and you spend like 4 hours talking to him
And then he wakes up in the morning and blocks you again but this time forever.
What an absolute idiot you’d have to be to believe him.
And you don’t know if you’re shut back out because of something you said, if he was only messaging you because he was drunk or on coke, if he is just embarrassed for being vulnerable with you. If he actually meant what he said. If some how it was just some really awfully timed tech issue even but that's ridiculous. Or what. And you send a message from a different twitter account that he follows still for whatever reason that’s supposed to be offering a clean slate because you’re apparently insane as well as a fucking idiot and you love him even though he was so horribly unkind to you for months while you were having a hard time that you totally lost it. But it doesn’t sound like a clean slate in a I miss you way it sounds like a clean slate in a you need to move past it way because earlier you pointed out that you shouldn’t be talking to each other in the way he said he misses. Because you wanted to say yeah I want to show you things that you/i/we would think are cool constantly too I think about you constantly and have memories popping up all the time but you can’t say that because you’re the one that got dumped. You’re the pathetic one. And it hurts. You can’t say I miss you and I think about you all the time to the person that doesn’t want you. It hurts to have the person that decided they’d rather be alone than be with you turn around and tell you they miss you when you know he doesn’t want you back or to try again and that he’s not interested in fixing it or a relationship with you. Because it’s 4am and he always saw being with you as settling, and if he wanted to be with you he’d just say so. He would literally just say so.
I said I wanted to be with you. I wanted to commit myself to someone. That you were the only person I wanted. And you told me you couldn’t be serious about me, that long term with me would never be an option. So please if you don’t want me I can’t take it anymore. It hurts. It really hurts still after all this time. If you want me tell me. If you don’t please, please stop hurting me.
I was starting to finally get over it by accepting that you’d just never cared about me at all. And then you go and be so sweet? And then so immediately cruel? I’m so confused. I’m so confused. I can’t keep ugly sobbing like this it’s going to give me frown-lines and crows-feet.
I think about you constantly. And I hope you keeping thinking about me every day too for at least as long as I do you. But if you don’t want me. Please don’t tell me about missing me, it just makes me miss you more and come up with ridiculous what ifs. It’s not nice. Giving me that false hope is not a nice thing to do.
What was up with that trend of kids books about dogs that die
ince bir dalın kanayışına şahidim toprak ile gök arasına kaç hikaye anlatmalı ki sesi soğusun avucumdan dökerek kargalara yem ettiğim şarkılar
biraz ertesi, soluk yıldız göğertisi biraz esmer, birazdan daha az bu ömür