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You're not as horrible as I expected.

It’s obvious you still care for her. You can’t hide it as much as I can’t hide how much I started to care about you. I know I’ve said it a thousand times before, but this is me saying goodbye. Goodbye to the summer I spent worrying about you, wasting time talking to you until the sun rose, and sharing our hopes and our fears. Goodbye to the summer that gave me hope in something that could’ve been and will never be.

I’m not bitter anymore and I’m not going to linger around, waiting for you to tell me where your heart is because I don’t want to search for it. I hope this time around she doesn’t take advantage of you and realizes how lucky she is to have you. I hope she appreciates you and the little things you do for her because I’d give anything to be the one you do those things for.

Lastly, I thank you. Thank you for showing me that I am capable of being loved and cared for. Thank you for showing me that I am beautiful inside and out. Even though it wasn’t your intention, you helped me discover a new side to myself I never realized existed. There’s a side to me that’s confident and independent and never did I think it was there until you came into my life. You’ve left me with a positive outlook on life and for that I am truly grateful.

Though these are all based on my assumptions, I don’t want to stick around to find out if I was right or not because I know you’ll choose her over me in the end and I understand that. So I before I get too attached, I’m saying my goodbyes now. It was an emotional summer, but a summer I will never forget.

#08.18.14