#09-2020

[madness-returns2u]

I genuinely felt pretty the other day so ima post it

[hemoclysmic]

24/09-20

i dream of murderers and wrong coloured grass, of baseball bats and distorted glass

there are shards and shrapnel cozying in my vitals

a spinning bass drum that hammers away in spirals

its the discomfort of self generating heat

the turning of the stomach at flies on old meat

you don't get to pretend you know me

or try to prove it the way you do, tell me what i could be

ill never tell you whole truths, let you in control

im not your text to analyse or bag of fucking coal

if you wanna start a fire, youll have to try harder to make me burn

and ill make sure you never know what makes my stomach churn

WERE NOT THE SAME WERE NOT THE SAME WERE NOT THE SAME WERE NOT THE FUCKIN SAME

[hemoclysmic]

16/09-20

i found someone that felt like home

so i made sure to burn them down

happy birthday, i forgot about you

it's easier to love you when i do

cause when youre in front of me

the waves choke me out

there are so many futures that dont matter

because theyre not with you

theyre everything and just enough and far too much, and i live in the dust motes of half a kitchen and your arms when i can

and so i had to burn you down

i love you i love you i love you

so i had to burn you down

i love you so much its hard to breathe and think

so i had to

i had to

well.

[hemoclysmic]

16/09-20

this is not yours to take

how can you suffer so loudly

when i have to be nothing at all

when i have to die and die and die

twisting and choking behind this fucking wall

you're drowning in a lifesaver

and im laying at the bottom of the ocean

this is not yours to take

leave my fucked up portraits

for the equally disturbed

leave my choking words for the unbreathing

cry your heart out, suffer loud

but this is not yours to take

my shards and dust

are for the ghosts

your living hands

break and break and break

do not fucking dare

to lay them on the lungs of the hollows

the problem. the problem is. that no matter how shallow you drown. you stay dead.

[hemoclysmic]

03/09-20

i usually like letting them talk at me

but tonight, just for tonight, i wish youd look on the other side of the mirror

if it could matter at all that im standing there

if you could see me the way you don't care i see you

i prayed to everything i knew, there would be something for me at the other end

cause i live in fear of being right

it's a lie, everything i say, you couldn't see me if you or i wanted

ive been a goner since you met me

and youve stayed the same since before