#0blivion

[ruinreigns-archived]

@0blivion sent : " I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then. "

her voice reaches him through the mesh of thoughts in his head ... muffled ... distant . it takes a long moment for him to realize that she's there , that she's real while the voices that plague him are from some dark corner of his mind that he kept trying to lock away . they've plagued him ever since ... his brother . he doesn't want to think about it , doesn't want to acknowledge any of it . he's already faced the grief , already spilled his soul to the world . and now the heaviness of his own words sit painfully on his heart .

and he knows she deserves better . better than a broken man who can't seem to catch his breath , can't seem so shake the feeling that there's someone lurking just over his shoulder , someone that he thinks he can barely see in the corner of his eyes but disappears the moment he turns to look . he can hear the footsteps , stopping just a split second after his wherever he went . a phantom ... haunting .

he's not sure how long it takes him to register her words . how long has he been avoiding her ? it's been months since he's been himself . he's not sure why she bothers , why she's stayed . he's thankful , but he doesn't want to hope for much longer . sooner or later she'll get tired . " i love you , too . " words spill from a dry mouth , catching on teeth and tongue as he drags his gaze towards her , soul broken in his eyes . " but you shouldn't be here . you have no idea what's happening . i don't want you to see the worst of me . "

[erad1cator]

@0blivion asked : do you believe me now?

alone . she was utterly alone . [ and it was all the blonde's fault ] - NO ! liv had brought to light everything that had been falling apart in the judgement day for months . everything that rhea had refused to see , to acknowledge . she'd been content to keep her head in the sand because there would be no way her boys would betray her . they needed her . she'd made them , built them from the ground up . they'd all been talented on their own but together ... oh together they were hellish and there wasn't a goddamn person in the entire locker room who could stand against them . she'd taught them to be strong , to stand on their own and they'd taken those lessons and torn her apart with a dagger twisted into her spine and behind her ribs , heart broken at the realization that it had all been a lie .

lips curl into a sneer for just a moment before her features settle into exhaustion . it's not worth the fight , not worth arguing . what's done is done and there's no use trying to change it , trying to play the blame game . she'd been the one who thought family and friendship was worth something . and maybe it was ... but not to the judgement day . she'd spent months believing that liv had been in this to hurt her ... it had never occurred to her that maybe liv was trying to protect her .

piercing blues turn towards the blonde and she doesn't try to hide the pain tattooed across her face . she'd lost her family . they had been her family while she'd had to leave her blood behind . they were supposed to have each other's backs . but now ? she was starting to understand that .the only person she could trust , could count on , was the woman in front of her . " i don't have much of a choice , do i ? you sure as hell made sure of that . "

[ruinreigns-archived]

@0blivion sent : “Ah, I should’ve seen this coming.”

he stands in the dusty ruins of an old barn house , hands tucked wrist deep into the pockets of faded denim . the ghost of memories seem to ride on the wind , the bits of air that churn the dirt and dust from the long abandoned building , and somehow it seems to swirl around his presence but never touches him . never rests against his skin or hair , almost as though he's trapped in his own reality , a universe just out of reach of haunted whispers of a time long past .

ages pass as he takes in the writings on the walls . written in a hand that would never lift a pen again to give sound to the words of a broken in a voice that will never be heard outside of his own head and recordings that never seem to get it quite right . without the presence , the message is lost and he can't help but wonder ... is he truly the one to bring it back . the one who the message can flow through , can bring it about to the masses .

it's what he would want -

bo finds himself nearing the shadows , fingers tracing over the arm of a familiar rocking chair ... leaving a trail in its wake , clean wood catching the light of a solo ray of sun . if he were here ... he'd wax poetic about the meaning of new days and the warmth of the morning setting into a night that brings about new dangers and new faces that should be embraced so they can bring about a new world order . but he's not here . and the boy standing with fingers drawing circles in the dust feels as though he's that lost child again , chasing after his brother , doing anything to have an ounce of his aura wash over him . he has to hold onto that , pray that he can be even a piece of the man he'd been .

he doesn't hear her approach , deaf to anything that isn't the quiet whisper that tickles the base of his mind . her voice comes to him , pulls him from the drowning in memories , and he stills his hand , eyes pulling to take in the blonde standing in the doorway of the barn . " not sure what you mean ? just wanted to clean up . no use leaving it all sitting like this . "

[erad1cator]

@0blivion asked : “did you think i had it in me?”

◤ ⸸ 𝗕 𝗥 𝗨 𝗧 𝗔 𝗟 𝗜 𝗧 𝗬 ⸸ ◢      a  wicked  smile  pulls  to  painted  lips  as  fingers  toy  with  a  strand  of  the  blonde’s  hair .  she  had  to  admit ...  she  hadn’t  been  sure  they  could  pull  this  off .  it  had  taken  time ...  time  to  heal  their  own  connection ,  time  to  plan ,  time  to  understand  just  how  to  make  it  happen .  it  had  started  with  an  injury ...  one  that  rhea  had  had  no  intention  of  inflicting .  an  injury  that  had  her  standing  at  liv’s  hospital  bed  side  waiting  for  her  to  wake  up  from  surgery .  it’s  not  often  she  apologies ,  less  often  she  feels  the  need  to ...  but  she’d  taken  the  other  out  of  action  for  the  foreseeable  future  and  she  actually  felt  terrible  about  it .  

there’s  no  denying  that  the  two  share  a  storied  history .  tag  team  partners ,  best  friends  bordering  on  something  more .  and  rhea  had  screwed  that  whole  thing  up .  let  her  anger  get  the  best  of  her  and  she’d  thought  it  was  the  right  thing  to  do .  it  rocketed  her  to  the  top  of  the  division  to  break  away  from  liv ,  but  what  had  it  cost  her ?  in  that  moment  she  had  realized  that  nothing  was  permanent ,  that  no  one  could  be  trusted .  surely  everyone  was  just  the  same ,  waiting  for  the  right  opportunity  to  strike .  but  it  wasn’t  supposed  to  have  gotten  anyone  hurt .

and  yet  she  had  been  there ,  waiting  for  anesthesia  to  wear  off  so  that  she  could  apologize  to  the  blonde ,  explain  that  she’d  let  everything  get  to  her  head ,  that  she’d  understand  if  liv  wanted  to  stomp  her  into  the  earth  and  never  look  back  but  she  hoped  they  could  somehow  fix  this ,  work  on  this .  and  somehow  in  the  midst  of  all  the  anger  and  pain ...  they’d  found  their  way  back .  and  in  finding  their  way  back  to  each  other ,  rhea  slowly  began  to  realize  that  she  couldn’t  trust  anyone  else .  a  realization  that  settled  in  as  she’s  reminded  of  how  finn  and  dominik  were  drafted  into  the  judgement  day ...  kicking  and  screaming ,  violently .

a  beginning  in  violence  is  so  very  different  from  a  violent  end -

so  they  concocted  a  plan .  a  plan  that  would  tell  them  who  was  real ,  who  was  loyal .  she  could  begin  to  rebuild  if  she  knew  who  she  could  trust  and  at  that  moment ,  there  was  only  liv .  funny  how  that  works .  no  one  saw  it  coming .  rhea’s  only  regret ?  not  letting  damian  in  on  the  fun ...  but  he’d  proven  himself .  the  moment  she  knew  he  could  be  trusted ,  she  filled  him  in ,  readied  him  to  tear  apart  finn  and  dominik  at  a  moment’s  notice .

and  now ?

standing  in  gorilla  with  blonde  strands  twirled  around  fingers  as  she  admires  the  gold  tossed  over  liv’s  shoulder ,  she  can’t  help  but  laugh .  “ babe ...  i  always  knew  you  could  be  wicked .  but  even  i  didn’t  think  you’d  be  able  to  keep  a  straight  face  while  kissing  dominik  mysterio .  it  was  all  worth  it  to  see  his  face  when  you  left  him  standing  there  with  his  tail  between  his  legs . “

[reck6ning]

@0blivion asked : ❛ you’re avoiding the subject and you know it. what are you hiding from me? ❜ 

║▌│█║▌│█║▌│█│║▌   he  had  carefully  crafted  the  mask  he  needed  to  keep  the  rest  of  the  world  at  arm’s  length .  they  would  never  understand .  when  he’d  spoken  thoughts  out  loud ,  there  had  been  looks  of  sympathy ,  whispers  of  it  being  a  process  of  grief .  so  he  had  learned .  he’d  learned  to  hide  his  thoughts ,  his  feelings .  some  days  the  smile  even  managed  to  reach  his  eyes .  but  others ...  there  was  a  shadow  that  settled  on  his  features .  a  shadow  that  seemed  to  take  every  ounce  of  his  being  away  and  twist  it  into  something  even  he  could  barely  recognize .

those  were  the  days  he  pulled  her  to  him  and  pressed  as  tender  of  a  kiss  as  he  could  manage  to  the  top  of  her  head  with  a  promise  of  being  back  as  soon  as  he  could ,  an  explanation  that  he  needed  to  throw  himself  into  some  project  or  another ,  some  conversation ,  some  errand  that  he  wanted  to  take  care  of  on  his  own .  only  to  wander  into  a  shed  in  the  woods ,  a  hidden  respite  that  he  and  his  brother  had  learned  to  love ,  where  many  stories  were  shared  and  created ,  characters  birthed ,  nightmares  fueled .  it  wasn’t  that  he  didn’t  trust  her ,  or  that  he  didn’t  want  her  there  with  him .  he  didn’t  think  she’d  understand ...

and  he  couldn’t  take  looks  of  pity  from  liv ...  it  would  break  him -

pieces  of  him  had  already  crumbled ,  had  already  been  lost  to  shadows  and grief .  he  desperately  wanted  to  hold  onto  the  bit  of  him  that  was  still  whole ,  the  piece  of  himself  that  was  attached  to  her .  the  piece  that  she  had  cradled  so  lovingly  in  the  depth  of  her  soul  for  so  long .  the  piece  of  him  that  remained  pristine  and  strong ,  the  piece  that  may  be  used  as  a  seed  when  the  time  is  right  to  find  his  way  back  to  who  he  had  been ,  who  he  should  be -

if  that  moment  ever  comes ...

he  hadn’t  intended  to  hide  anything  from  her .  he  had  never  seen  it  as  keeping  secrets .  he’d  wanted  to  protect  her  from  the  nightmares  living  in  his  head ,  from  the  monsters  that  had  started  creeping  in .  the  monsters  that  had  found  him  in  the  midst  of  the  woods ,  dragged  him  from  the  edge  of  grief  and  morphed  it  into  something  productive ,  something  that  he  could  follow  and  hold  onto  while  his  soul  reset  or  his  mind  found  its  way  back  from  whatever  hole  it  had  crawled  into .  he’d  wanted  to  hide  her  from  howdy ,  from  the  man  who  lived  in  the  woods  who  seemed  to  suck  the  light  out  of  everything  his  laugh  touched .

she  deserves  to  stay  pure ...  but  she  deserves  a  choice -

he  sucks  in  a  breath  even  as  lips  press  to  the  top  of  her  head .  he  can’t  bare  to  look  down  at  her ,  doesn’t  want  to  see  the  questions  in  her  eyes .  instead ,  he  wraps  his  arms  around  her  shoulders  and  pulls  her  close ,  nose  brushing  against  her  hair  before  he  rests  a  cheek  against  her  head  and  breathes  her  in  for  a  long  moment .  “ i’m  not  trying  to  hide  anything  from  you .  there’s  just ...  something  going  on  in  my  head  and  sometimes  i  just  need  space  and  air  to  get  through  it . “  space  and  air  with  beings  he  couldn’t  even  be sure  existed .  things  that  disappeared  when  he  tried  to  turn  to  them  in  full ,  choosing  instead  to  lurk  in  the  corners  of  his  vision ,  just  outside  of  an  area  of  focus .  but  how  can  he  explain  to  her  that  he’s  found  meaning  in  the  unknown ,  in  the  fear  of  questioning  what  is  happening  to  him .  “ it’s  hard ,  sometimes ...  watching  the  world  move  on  when  i  feel  so  goddamn  stuck . “

[reck6ning]

@0blivion said : ❛ i hope you find the peace you’re searching for. ❜

║▌│█║▌│█║▌│█│║▌   hadn't they been destined to be a circle ? the voices had assured him , had comforted his worries and quieted his doubts . they were supposed to be more than this . how could they have been so wrong ? everything in him wants to question , wants to cry to the heavens and beg for an answer , an explanation . but he knows that there is a purpose . there is a purpose in everything .

what i am doing you do not understand now , but you will understand later

the verse rings in his head , howdy's voice repeating the words , driving them home , reminding him that there is a reason . for a moment their circles have crossed , their paths have lined up ... and perhaps the universe needs them to separate for just a moment more . a moment to allow him to fulfill the role he'd been chosen for .

he had wanted to protect her , to keep these parts of him from touching the light of her soul . she deserves more than the darkness he's dragging behind him , allowing to envelop him . he can't be what she needs until his purpose is complete . and it's far from fair to her to pull her into the mess , the woods , the nightmare .

so he nods , fingers threading as he lets his hands drop in front of him . bo's quiet for a long moment , wants to be sure that she understands that he gets it , that there's no animosity . that he could never hold anything against her . she's always been his light , always been his guide ... and he's sure he'll somehow find his way back to her in the end . " peace is earned . i just haven't gotten there yet . but you ... you've earned it a thousand times and a thousand more . i'll find you when i've earned it . "

[reck6ning]

@0blivion said : ❝  you don’t seriously think i’ll just up and leave you? i’m with you - through thick and thin.  ❞

║▌│█║▌│█║▌│█│║▌   he wishes he could offer her a smile . he wishes he could rub his hands across his face and drag the fear , the grief , the pain away from his soul . but it's anchored itself into his entire being , tangling with veins to feed his mind with darker and darker thoughts . thoughts that he's sure she would run from if she could only see into his head . for that , he can't help but be a little thankful . she knows some of what has gone through his head , some of the grief that he's allowed to drip , acidic and caustic as it burns through him , threatening to engulf him in a black hole of hell .

how can he explain to her that he knows she won't leave of her own accord , that she would never walk away from a lame buck laying in the middle of the road , waiting for buzzards or worse to pick off the remains . she's too good , too pure . her heart's too big for her chest and he knows that it has to be aching , that it must be beating against her ribs , scarring with every press against bone , leaving an indention he's not sure can ever be filled .

he's damaging her beyond repair .

and he knows pushing her to leave would pierce the heart and tear her kindness through the trench it would dig in its path . it would be his fault . no matter how this happens , he's responsible for her pain , her grief . and while he cares not for the pain of those outside of his home in this moment , he doesn't know that he could take knowing that he's the one who changed her for the worst .

             S E L F I S H

             S E L F I S H

                    S E L F I S H

hand moves to face as he blocks a tirade of self loathing from spilling from loose lips . his anger should never be directed at her , should never have the chance to be misconstrued as throwing vitriol towards her . he waits for the voices to quiet , for the urge to scream to retreat down his throat . and when he dares to speak , it's with the intimacy of a whisper . " this is more than thick or thin , olivia . this is ... i don't know what it is , but it's nothing temporary . and i can't promise you that i'll ever turn the page back to who i was . i don't know if i can . "

[reck6ning]

@0blivion said :  ❝  you’re worth more than you think. trust me.  ❞

║▌│█║▌│█║▌│█│║▌   his entire life had been dedicated to this company . the early years had been built around making it into wwe . every second in the ring had been to learn what they needed , what they would want out of them because he knew that the moment he made it ... he wouldn't need to know anything else because he'd be home , where he was meant to be . and it had started out so goddamn good . he'd had an edge .

wrestling royalty .

bo dallas had been made for this , born for it . it didn't matter what part he was handed because he'd play it and he'd play it damn well . he'd slipped into the facade of a man who was only happy to have a chance , who tried his best to spread some sort of positivity and hope . and it had taken him far . it had carried him all the way to the main roster .

and that should have been enough ... but you could never let your guard down when a mcmahon was signing the paycheck . nothing was ever guaranteed . you'd be thrown into new teams , new ideas , new personas , and then you'd get blamed when it , inevitably , doesn't work out . you weren't good enough . you didn't try hard enough . you didn't care enough .

you had to be let go

brown eyes cast towards the ground as he tries to hide the shame painting his face . it's been weeks since he'd packed his things from the locker room and couldn't look back or he feared he'd break . why wasn't he enough ? " i appreciate the thought ... but unless you can convince the boss ? it's just that . a good thought . "