Still always and forever thinking about how angry Jay was. Like his first instinct to everything was anger. He was unwaveringly defensive, impulsive, wanting the last word at all times-- he saw himself as inimitable, practically untouchable. Did you know it's a war crime to harm a journalist? Maybe that's how he saw himself. Safe as a passive observer, as if he wasn't the instigator half the time at least. But God was he angry. We can laugh all we want at how brash he was, how little he thought things through, how overly-confident and naive he was, but what was he supposed to do? He went into this with some care and fear and, sure, morbid curiosity, for what happened to the guy he kind of knew in college, only to be swept up in an absolute clusterfuck and finding out that that guy killed people -- innocent people, their friends, in order to feed or appease or get protection from or fight against some unimaginable monster. What was he supposed to do? All he had at that point was anger.