#1:21pm

[ajyal-azez]

سلامًا على من يعرفون معنى الحُب ولا يملكون حبيباً.

-جبران خليل جبران

[freckly-lix]

i made a lockscreen with my pic... damn never thought i’d reach this point of boredom 

[vile-nighttime]

Bro I fucking hate it here so bad I hate this house

My mother in law is annoying asf

All my in laws are annoying asf when Im overwhelmed I hate everything

[ajyal-azez]

عليّكَ أن تهجر المنافي كلها، لِلقاء عيّناي عينايَّ فقط.

[ajyal-azez]

هناك دائماً ضوء في أخر الممر، ضوء ينتشلنا من الظلمات الى النور.

[mindnmybidness]

The crazy thing is about this job is that, I don’t ever really feel successful. Like you know when people leave and others want to say “thank you for your work that you’ve done” blah blah blah. I feel like I’d never ever get that type of farewell. I don’t think I’d get a farewell ever. It’s like I could literally fall off the face of the earth (loool my negative thoughts really was pushing here but I settled for this euphemism instead 😂) and it wouldn’t even matter. But yea. It is what it is I guess.

[diaries-of-a-hopeless-soul]

Entry #39: November 21st, 2018 (1:21pm)

My alarm woke me up on time this morning to go out, but I really wasn't feeling up for it. So I was pretending to sleep in my room downstairs and waited to see what my mom would do. She ends up calling down to me a number of times. I didn't respond, hoping she would go without me. I waited for like an hour after that and she still hadn't left. So it seemed she wasn't going to go without me. Then I hear her yelling on the phone to dad. I couldn't make out much but she was furious at me for "not waking up" and thinks I'm entitled and that I never thank her for anything. Literally yesterday she was supposed to go to that Ashley sale without me cause we were gonna go to the mall today. But she wakes me up early, saying how her blood sugar was high and she has a massive headache and needs me to drive cause it's the last day of the sale. I say okay and I pull myself out of bed and we get ready and go. We get there and find out that it's no where near the last day for the sale. Its actually December 2nd is when it ends. So after all that, I come upstairs a few mins ago telling her I'm sorry and I forgot to set my alarm last night because I was upset, she just goes off on me about my so called entitlement and how I'm not appreciative for anything. And she goes on about how alone she feels and that she finally has reached the end of her rope, like she has said literally hundreds of times. But this time she finally tells me that her "only outlet is death." Word for word that's what she said. That I understand very well, but she has a different reason why she can't do it. She's worried about what she'll leave behind. I think that's bullshit. She might believe what she's saying, but I think that's bullshit. Sure, I believe she wants to die, but her reason for not doing so is a lie. She has no friends, and she hates our white family. She's not close with any of her side of the family except for auntie Zorida. So if anything she can just leave and go live with her. I'm sure Zorida wouldn't mind, she has a spare bedroom. So her reason for not killing herself is bullshit and she just wants to keep me and the rest of us upset. She's just like Nick. She has to make everyone around her miserable. I love her, and she isn't the source of my hatred. Neither is Nick. But the least she could do is own up to what she truly feels and do something to get better. She doesn't want to though. She wants to remain in this state. I'm just so sick of the lies and the arguing. She thinks I was angry at yet from last night. I was just really upset and depressed. But I wasn't upset at her. I can't talk to her about it because she would break if I told her how I really feel. I know, "pot calling kettle." But at least my reason for lying is to protect her and Nick and my dad. Her reason for lying is because she can't face the truth about how she truly feels.

[levirhowe]

the broad