#10.21.14

[meghan-thegirlwholived]

#tbt to when I bought lesbonaut Domino’s because she was going through a rough time & it was basically the only kind of physical support I could give her from a distance.

[detonating-doll]

Communion

And on the third day, I awoke. From a slumber of symphonies and ballets in my head. From a handful of rings and a basket of ribbons. From a thousand kisses and a thousand tears. And when I awoke, I did not know what to do with myself. The river was dry, and the sky tried telling me stories, but I still I remained mute. I knew that, this time, I was dead. I could see my shrouded body inhabiting the spot where ancient dirt used to be. But my soul was nowhere to be found. I couldn’t feel it in my chest or on my skin or in the back of my throat. It was gone, and if my soul was gone and my body was down there, then what was I?

  I tried ringing the bell at the gate, hoping someone as broken as I was would answer. I begged the tongues of salvation to let me stay. God, I wanted to stay, but God wasn’t around to hear my pleas. Because they were silent and God can never hear your thoughts as much as you wish he would. Where is my soul, oh, where is it? My only friend, my medicine in bloodied ceiling days. Soul, where are you? I cannot die without you. I rang the bell again, wishing that anyone, even a saint himself, would open the gate for me. I just wanted to rest; I was numb from the scratching and bruises on my thighs and knuckles. I tried breaking my wrists and biting my cheeks, in the hopes that someone would smell my blood and be tempted to drink it.

  Soul, I need you now. You’re my timepiece and my footsteps. Your shadow is my shadow, your eyes are my eyes. Please, Soul, please, come back. You’re my key to the afterlife; I have shackles, I’m not free up here. I don’t think I ever will be, but please stand by my side. I’m sick of hearing the others dance and tremble on their knees. I need to feel again, please. Please. Please.

  And once I awoke on the eighth day, I knew that my Soul was never coming back to me. I could beg and shake and lament, but I would have to coddle it all on my own. Because, by then, I had realized that the soul is not a companion or what is inside, it is what has been given away. And once you have given everything away, the Soul does not come back. All of those symphonies and ballets and rings and ribbons and kisses and tears are my present, not only to the world, but also to my friends who I’ve drowned along the way. The thought of my fleeting soul is paralyzing, but I will die along another night’s path to see another day. And there is never any use ringing the bell because, in actuality, no one is there to answer. No one is as broken as I am, no one is as soulless as I am. But from that, I know that I have given everything away that will ever need to be given away. Everyone has taken my blood, and everyone is hoping for more.

[stephjoho]

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Stormy Weather | Little Dragon

[tee-shirt-s]

I’m sorry and please forgive me for my language but fuck you for all the times things like this happened and you thought it was a joke or the times when you wouldn't take me seriously and just brushed me off like I was old news. Fuck you for the times you treated me as if i was shit to you while I treated you guys like kings and queens. And if I ever see you again or if we ever talk again don’t bother asking me how I’m doing if you couldn't care less and don’t try to “win me back” just “as a friend” with your cute jokes and dont use me like I’m just a nobody to you because you’ve had your 3 strikes and typical me gave all of you more chances than my heart could manage. But of course you’re going to act like its all okay because why not? You’re happy, so why should it matter to you that other people aren’t? Go ahead and tell me that I’m too sensitive and immature and that I just “would’nt understand something like this” because trust me I’ve tried to take it from your point of view far to many times with no results. Don’t tell me you’re sorry if deep down inside you aren’t sorry at all and don’t think that these things (that you might find dumb and unimportant) to be completely wiped away from my memory because now it’s all coming back and instead of blaming you, I take the blame once again. I know I've said this a countless number of times but I'm done with your shit and if this is how I'm supposed to hold up my end in this friendship I'd rather not go through this bullshit again. 

and if you see this and you think I'm talking about you don't like this post and comment "lol" or something stupid like that thinking that its funny or that this post isn't as serious and personal as you think it is. 

[tee-shirt-s]

tbh i hope that maybe by the end of this year ill turn hella hot and good looking and have no regrets and people will look at my old pictures and be like damn she looks good now

[observive]

Did Cobra Starship break up or just get rid of members?!