kaiser likes to play fetch with him, likes to play the game off as the consequence of his passing whims.
‘ fetch, ‘ he’ll say. then he’ll say something easy, like mineral water, or something outlandish – like a meal from the other side of town or an expensive kind of liquor that he only wants for the bottle.
once, he asked ness to retrieve the phone number of a woman at a club for him – just to see if ness would comply.
ness had chosen to comply – she asked, looking him up & down, if he was asking for her number on behalf of his friend or for his own sake. though he flushed a furious red, he had smiled with false shyness & allowed himself to say, ‘ both. ‘
because her question had been a stupid one.
ness had decided years ago that there was no separation between kaiser’s interests & his own – most of the time, he thinks that kaiser would agree.
he gives her his number, & she gives him hers – ness takes it to kaiser, & kaiser preens because he likes to play fetch as proof of his own cruelty, as proof of the ways that he has trained ness to heel.
kaiser is a little childish like that, sometimes, in how easily he imagines that relationships can be made into black & white.
of course, ness finds it difficult to argue against childish things. he likes impossible things & sweet things too much – & he has spent too much time hearing his preferences for imagination equated to youth, & youth equated to stupidity.
& so he plays make-believe alongside kaiser. impossible things can be simple, so it’s fair game to pretend simpler things. so nowadays, kaiser has him trained - if kaiser needs the crutch, then why not?
they play fetch, & ness doesn’t mind – he says so, hums as much, & takes no questions.
so long as it’s the two of them & kaiser’s illustration for power, he doesn’t mind. even if it fucking sucks –
sometimes magic is made of bloodsacrifices & hurt & hurt & hurt. sometimes the impossible happens only after everything real is scraped through & clean & empty.
kaiser doesn’t really know yet how much he needs him.
ness thinks he knows how much he needs kaiser.
eventually, they’ll be better than this. in the meantime, ness daydreams sometimes that they’re in the middle of weaving a legacy – or at least, ness is playing spectator to the beginning of a legend.
ness wants for kaiser, & kaiser wants to be permanent.
as such, ness is certain that his and kaiser’s interests synonymous.
so long as it’s the two of them, it’s fine.
it’s different, though, when kaiser plays their game for a third party. ‘ be a doll and get me a mineral water, okay? ‘ he says, & he sounds as though he’s already forgotten what he’s asked.
prompt: be a doll and get me a mineral water, okay?; sent by @mindsafe
be a doll, & fetch. kaiser wants ness out of the room. he wants to talk to whoever else has commandeered his attention, & it’s naive, childish, upsetting that kaiser has managed to forget that playing make-believe is not enough to make it real.
the impossible can happen, but pretending is not enough.
ness clenches his hands hard enough that they start to tremble, that his nails start to dig into the meat of his palms.
ness knows how to smile, so he does.
even if he bites his cheek hard enough that it might bleed.
‘ i know what kind you like,’ ness agrees to fetch.
kaiser doesn’t look at him.
ness clenches his fists tighter.
‘ kaiser, ‘ he begins & breaks their script. ‘ you know that i know more of what you like than anyone, right?’
he knows the drinks, the foods, the passes on the field kaiser likes.
he’s good at that sort of thing. at making a religion of things.
ness had decided years ago that there was no separation between kaiser’s interests & his own – most of the time, he thinks that kaiser would agree.
‘ i’ll be right back,’ ness pledges unnecessarily. kaiser hadn’t asked.
ness gets the mineral water.
