“Tour Guides”
-2026
seen from China

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seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia

seen from Maldives
seen from United States
seen from China

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from China

seen from Malaysia
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seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
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seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from New Zealand
“Tour Guides”
-2026
God, can you imagine someone from Finland (or wherever) heading to a Midwestern state fair and eating every variety of fried thing imaginable?
I'm very proud of my countrymen for introducing America to the world of the proper football chant.
None of this cheerleader stuff for soccer, oh no sireee, I mean, no disrespect to cheerleaders who put a LOT of work and effort into their performances, but somehow "Rah-Rah! We're the best" from peppily gymnastic young things can't quite match the sheer power of entire stadiums of grown up fans yelling at the top of their lungs things like....
It's unclear if this one originated with the English of Scottish games (spelling of "old" as "auld" notwithstanding), but either way, well done.
And it's striking home too! :D
Sportsball holds no interest for me, but that doesn't mean I can't respect the participation aspects sometimes.
the football analysis we all need
used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggeratedly at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."
Soccer players are the horses of men’s sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and
unfortunately for me he is the funniest football player out there
FIFA’s international football championship