#100gratefuldays

[howilostallmyfs-blog]

#100GratefulDays, Day 72: I drove up to Monmouth yesterday to see some wonderful people who've helped me a lot this year and came upon this stunning view. Grateful for both! 💕 • I'm also, strangely, grateful for making a wrong turn on my way back. I got scared because I had little gas and no cell service and since I was already on the verge of tears (from pain) I started crying. Then BAWLING. Even after I figured out my dilemma the waterworks kept on flowing. • Part of me feels like a failure for never making it in Portland, just like I didn't make it in Denver. Extraneous circumstances with my health and the recession (respectively), but another dream busted, nonetheless. It felt good to finally let it out, phewww catharsis. Also grateful for not crashing whilst crying and driving, it was all very dramatic 🙄

[howilostallmyfs-blog]

#100GratefulDays, Day 100 (yesterday) 🎉: Paying for it now, but yesterday I left the house NOT errand-ing for the first time here. Spent time at a nearby park and caught up on phone calls and vitamin D soaking. Grateful for a lovely time! • I'm also grateful for the last 100 days, and for this project. It kept me looking for the good stuff during a pretty tricky bit of time there. Sure didn't think I'd be living in California when I came out the other side! C'est la vie, eh? • Grateful for surprises, and for all of the kind and generous people who have helped me during this health crisis. You are true life savers, thank you so much. Wishing everyone a beautiful Sunday! (at Santa Clarita, California)

[howilostallmyfs-blog]

#100GratefulDays, Day 99: Happy first day of fall! Grateful for this dreamy autumn forecast and hopes of improved health. Take that, winter flares 👊🍂🌴 (at Santa Clarita, California)

[howilostallmyfs-blog]

#100GratefulDays, Day 97 (yesterday and today, def half days at best): It's been a rough couple of days. As a #spoonie I have to plan REALLY carefully and I didn't plan for a gas stop or wandering around that awesome monster place (see day 96) and so the pain got to tear levels by yesterday afternoon, but I indulged in the better part of a bottle of #TwoBuckChuck in the evening, which helped immensely. • Today the pain came right back though and I had to errand anyways and it was a very trying experience--I made it home safe and sound though, and didn't quite have a meltdown in a cell phone store. Grateful for that, and for having a home to return to. And for said home also having some of my artwork from fall 2015, 1/3 of a commission for my friend and host. (The other 2 are in the other bedrooms) • I painted it the first month that I could no longer work the temp job(s) that had kept me going despite symptoms for a couple years. It was the first month I was homebound more days than not, now the norm. I can't believe it's been so long, that I'm not better, that this is really my lifestyle. • Anyways, I'm grateful to have the painting here as a reminder of what I can do, even during intensely difficult periods. And a reminder that I got through that month, and the last two years. And I'll get through tonight, even though the thought of lying here in agony for hours, again, makes me want to cry--I'm okay, and I'll keep on being okay. Fucking fabulous even.

[howilostallmyfs-blog]

#100GratefulDays, Day 96: Grateful I made it out of there alive!! Hehe. Seeking a post-errand iced decaf sent me to some random place where I found this instead. Totally just as satisfying! Glad to see LA has some weird, hope to find much more... (at Burbank, California)

[howilostallmyfs-blog]

#100GratefulDays, Day 95: I'm grateful for my roomie BBQing it up just when I was regretting my healthy grocery choices, mmm. • I finished bleaching my hair to brightly color soon and now it's all pastel-y delicious so I'm grateful to no longer be in a big hurry to color over it. (The planning you have to do with chronic illness is just bonkers so it could be awhile, #spoonielife) • My good-health morning also included a rather embarrassing trip to the gas station where I realized I hadn't pumped my own gas in years. Tricky, very tricky, haha.

[howilostallmyfs-blog]

#100GratefulDays, Day 94: This lil' fella who holds up my glasses with such flair. (And for gem essences from @dominovtg!) (at Santa Clarita, California)

[howilostallmyfs-blog]

#100GratefulDays, Day 93: A bite of this and a bite of that and nommm. I started watching my sugar intake a couple years ago and it's changed my palette, making unsweetened cocao delish and fruit something I look forward to eating. Grateful for healthy sweet noms! (at Santa Clarita, California)