Scraps
I was always told that I’d amount to something someday. That I’d become a part of something amazing, great, remarkable.
But that was then, and as of now all I know is that my list of ailments is becoming something extraordinary from what things I thought awaited me when I took my first steps out of home into the rest of life.
Sure, they taught you in school that it’s important to be proactive. They taught you that two plus two always equaled four. But what they never taught you was how such a simple thought could spiral into a heavy reminder of what was, and what wasn’t. How every time I think about that problem I think about the best of the group, and how I always envied that talent. How every decision you made was what you wanted and not what was in store for you. You have trouble eating, but you’ve grown from eating too much. You can’t reverse the effects or the decisions you made to get to where you are. You just don’t feel right.
When you’re finally exhausted and not sure how to feel you just exist until your next daily task. Always in motion, never changing.
And from here it’s quite easy to see, you have deteriorated.
