Lessons of love and self, the sick reality.
I've been single for about 2 years now. I've dated in between then and now with no real commitment to any one person. I've gotten a chance to test the waters, date in and out of my race, and date outside of my type and standards. After all that I've reached the same conclusion that I've really known all along. You can't change someone, you can't make them love you. You can't force them to respect you. You can give until you've given all you can. You can cry yourself to sleep. You can beg and plead. You can stay or go. At the end of the day all of that effort and energy is pointless if it isn't matched. My Dad more than my Mom made me a strong willed woman and instilled in me that yes I may one day want a man but there should never come a day when I NEED one to complete me. I, like all/"most" women crave a mans attention, touch, and presence yes. However, that will never be placed above the need to maintain my self worth or the things I deserve, as far as being treated. In some sick way or another for awhile I allowed myself to justify how I was treated and why I put up with the things I did put up with. Those days are long over. There's absolutely no justification for a man or woman to disrespect, degrade or down talk you in any way, shape or form. I'm simply saying this to say not only for myself but to all men and women that it is okay to let go, love from a distance and put yourself first. It is okay to date and fail. It is okay to forgive and move on. And it is most importantly most definitely okay to love yourself more than you love another person, relationship, or situation. I know love is beautiful when found and I'll find it one day. I won't rush or settle for mediocracy. Sincerely, The prized possession unpossessed.