Redwall Weekly 11 Redwall Fairy Tales
this is utter shit please ignore it
“Martin the Second! Me lad me boy, have I told ya the story of yore dad’s kidnapment?” “Unkle Basil, I’ve heard this story many times.” “Not like this ya haven’t, eh wot?” Basil gave a drunk chuckle, leaning down and picking up the tiny mouse and placing him on his lap. He took a swig of October Ale and cleared his throat. “Alrighty, so, here’s how it basically went, th’ fox appeared in a cape and yore dad was told not to talk to strangers but he did any way and so yore dad was kidnapped--in a red cloak I recall--” “Okay nope, that’s it, we’re done here.” Matthias laughed as he yanked his small grandson from Basil’s lap. “Basil you’ve had one too many! You’re confusing Little Red Riding Hood and That One Time My Idiot Son was Kidnapped.” “Idiot son?? What about the idiots who let the fox in to begin with??” Mattimeo sputtered from across the table, cheese chunks spewing from his mouth as he snorted. “That was due to certain brats being spoiled by the elders and stupid parenting.” Constance snorted into her mug as Cornflower passed by and took her tiny grandson from her husband, kissing Matthias on the cheek. “Stupid parenting eh? Its because Matthias was idolized to the point that no one felt they should burden his son. If only a certain warrior mouse hadn’t made such high standards for his son to follow.” “Dammit dad, if only you had let Cluny enslave us all, I wouldn’t have felt like I had such giant paws to follow in.” “Yes, if only.” Matthias laugh, kissing his wife back. “The real question is who let Basil read old Methuselah’s book on fairy tales?” “Yes, who let me read at all? Who let me drink this drink? Who let’s me do anything?” Basil laughed as he stuffed his mouth full of warm pastries filled with gravy, mushroom and leeks. “Time to put Basil to bed.” Ambrose cackled gleefully, leaning against Basil as he howled, slapping the table. “Goodness, all of you need to be put to bed!” Tess laughed. “But not before a bedtime story! What about the time the beautiful young mouse maiden was locked away in the tower by a dreadful witch? Do you want to hear that story Martin?” “I think that story is more rightfully titled ‘When Tess was Caught by Her Mother When She Was Sneaking Out of the House to Meet Her Sweetheart’.” Tim cheekily replied, avoiding a smack from his twin sister. “Sssh, the little precious thing has fallen asleep.” Cornflower chuckled as she gently rocked her grandson, indicating towards his closed eyes and peaceful breathing. She hummed under the loud laughing and plate clinking that happened at the table, smiling at the sheer joy. “Too bad he fell asleep before he could hear about how his grandmother dressed up after his namesake and scared away a big mean crow.” Matthias grinned. “Complete with Constance’s voice effects!” Little Martin the Second stirred slightly in his sleep, his dreams filled with visions from the feast and odd snippets of stories both fictional and real.
