Fic idea (for me, do not judge, this is a self-indulgent idea)
So. Fae Siffrin obviously.
-
"Make a wish, Mira!"
It's tempting. The Saviour of Vaugarde (one of four, now) hesitates. "Rain check?"
Siffrin watches the shooting star fade below the horizon. That's not how this works, but he smiles anyway. "Rain check," he agrees.
-
"Siffrin," Mira sobs, blood trickling from her mouth. "I don't want to die."
Siffrin kneels, clasps her hands between their own. "Wish for it," they say, urgently. It is a cruel thing to ask, of her and of them. The consequences will be terrible, but– "Please, Mira."
She mouths it. Then, clearly struggling, she manages, "I want to live."
"Wish for it."
"I wish I could've lived," she sobs. "I wish we all could've lived— Siffrin, I'm so sorry—" and the deal is struck.
Note: I still think that Vaugarde has the Change religion. I really love that aspect of worldbuilding. I think it's a) common to stick to species that shift, and b) expected for people to change species at least once in a while. Mirabelle was born a werewolf but she doesn't really shift beyond her natural features, and she isn't really interested in changing her species.
Following that, I think Odile did well in Ka Bue, where not only is bodycraft forbidden, but maybe certain types of hybrids/species are discriminated against or viewed as undesirable? So I imagine she was very interested in the Change religion because it's as foreign to her as it is in the og game.
Also: notice how Nille's a kelpie? Fae-related. Because Bambouche is on the northern shore of Vaugarde and I stand by my headcanon that they probably had some trade relations with the northern island back in the day, and therefore there's some culture carryover. Bonnie's a water dragon because it's cool and species aren't inherited. Species are like craft specialties, it's a person-dependent thing, not blood-dependent.
It's occurred to me that I never explained my thought process behind Sadness Frin's design. Which isn't super important because the design is fun!
But Sadness Frin is a bit like Loop because they wished to just not have to see anything anymore. Hear anything anymore. Or even be anything anymore. So Siffrin became a remnant of himself - no head, so he doesn't have to talk, doesn't have to see, doesn't have to do anything!He doesn't even have to be Siffrin!
It's so peaceful now. Even when the party comes along, Siffrin doesn't have to do anything. He can't talk, so he doesn't have to explain himself or follow any kind of script (except there's no loops because he killed the king and never talked to the Head Housemaiden so the journey never ends :).
Sadness Frin just exists! And hangs out! He's super content, even with the nagging feeling that something might be missing...
Which is why Loop hates him so much more now. Siffrin is so selfish, hurting their friends like that without a care in the world! And he doesn't even know it!
Mirabelle cleared her throat nervously. "These tears..."
"Oh, yes! Those. Hm, have you explored the whole house? I think there might be something to help your progress!"
"There's nothing," Isabeau cut in. "If there was something, it's gone, and the tears are filling the whole hallway."
"Nothing at all? I wouldn't have expected that from you, Fighter."
The Sadness drifted closer to Mirabelle, hat tilted in a way that's almost cute. Soft static came from the empty space where its head should have been.
"I'll give you a hint: that thing you picked up a few floors ago might be of use after all! Do your best!"
"Wait-!" Mirabelle said, but then her shoulders slumped. "Loop disconnected," she told the others.
Odile shook her head, sighing.
They started to discuss among themselves if maybe they could slip through the tears somehow. Mirabelle thought maybe they could try use objects to protect themselves from the tears' effects. Odile pointed out that the tears tend freeze everything, including whatever if touching the affected object.
Not wanting to test what could be fatal, the group subsided, stuck on what to do next. Mirabelle could feel the quiet pressing in, the walls of the once-familiar House looming above them.
And then Bonnie shouted, "Hey, don't touch that!"
Mirabelle whipped around to see the Sadness they'd picked up earlier - Siffrin, her mind whispered, but she shoved it down, too heartbroken - reaching out to one of the tears.
There was a flash that covered her vision in white. When the light receded, the hallway was completely free of tears.
You notice it, sometime after Isabeau announces that the two of you were bonded and everyone congratulated you two. Mirabelle had asked about earrings, to which you'd had to explain that you exchanged cloaks instead, and then of course Odile had to be informed on what "bonding earrings" are because she'd never been told in the first place.
It was all a little hectic and embarrassing - everyone had insisted on having a feast to celebrate. Bonnie had made a lot of food, even while calling you and Isabeau gross.
Anyway, now Mira looks like she's been thinking about something. Rather deeply, too. It's been kind of hard to get her attention recently, and you're getting a little concerned.
It's not about the papers again, is it?
You know that you messed up last time, but... But if she's worried about dating and romance again, then. Then maybe you can at least hear her out?
You hate the thought of her worrying about this all by herself.
Then again, last time you tried... It didn't go well.
Maybe you should get someone else to help out. Like Isabeau? He loves romance, and he's super thoughtful! But at the same time, since Mira doesn't want romance for herself, he might not be able to sympathize.
Then maybe Odile...? She always says she's not good at feelings talks, but she's very logical. Maybe that's what Mira needs?
...No, you don't think either is a good fit. And Bonnie's out of the question, of course. Bonnie thinks all romance is gross, and would probably deem this as 'adult talk.'
Oh well. If talking to Mirabelle goes poorly, you can always loop - oh, no, you can't.
...You can always apologize.
You make your way to where Mirabelle's wandered off, silently vowing to keep your mouth shut as much as possible. Absolutely no spoilers, and no blinding comments.
She perks up when she sees you. There are no papers in sight.
"Hi Siffrin!" she says, smiling brightly. "Coming by to hang out?"
You hesitate. Where's the papers? Cautiously, you say, "A little. I was... worried?"
"Huh? Worried about what?"
"You just seemed sort of distracted lately," you say, plopping down beside her. "Anything I can help with?" There, that's familiar territory. You're good at helping! Usually.
"Oh!" She raises a hand to her mouth, brows furrowing. "...Ooh, was I that obvious?"
You don't nod, because that feels mean, but she probably sees it on your face. She groans.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to... I was just thinking, that's all!" Mirabelle pauses for a moment, her teeth worrying at her lip. "Um, can I ask you something? About your cloak?"
You feel hollow.
Hesitant, you say, "If I remember!"
"It's nothing bad, I just-! Well, um, you've offered all of us your cloak before, haven't you?" she says, quickly. "During our journey, right?"
Well... yeah. You did. Before you realized none of them wanted anything to do with your cloak.
You shrink into the collar of your cloak - thank the stars that Isabeau sewed one on - and try not to look too embarrassed. "I did," you mumble, hoping desperately that she's not somehow still mad about it.
Mirabelle looks... uneasy?
Then she says, "Does that mean we all unknowingly rejected you before?"
And you nearly nod before you - you realize that something about her tone sounds wrong. She sounds devastated?
"I can't believe you had a crush on Odile," she adds, and.
Oh! No! No no no!
You shake your head furiously. "It's not like that!" you yelp. "It was different! It was a gesture, not a proposal!
Mirabelle blinks. "Ah - a what?"
Oh stars. Oh STARS.
You lurch to your feet, remembering that Mirabelle doesn't want romance. But - Mirabelle thought you had confessed to her. You're so blinding stupid!
"It's like - it's like hugs!" you say, scrambling to explain. "Um, like when you and Isa and Bonbon hug! It's not, it's not a proposal, not in that context! There's a right way to propose, there's a ceremony and everything, you have to make your intentions clear or otherwise nothing happens, you know?"
Mira's eyes are wide. "Oh," she says, blinking rapidly. "Oh, so - huh! So it's, um, something you can do with friends too?"
You nod quickly.
You tell her, "It's kind of a way to comfort each other, or to just... hold each other? Like if, uh, if you handed me your cloak, then I'd know you're offering it to me for a little while, and then it'd be like I'm carrying around a piece of you!"
"Oh!" Mirabelle considers this for a bit. The tensions leaks from her shoulders as she smiles at you. "So cloaks are important in your culture?"
Relief floods you. She gets it now, you think, which means she's not offended anymore. "Yeah, of course," you tell her, grinning. "Without them..."
Something halts your tongue. Isn't this supposed to be a secret?
But this is Mira! You trust her.
So you continue, "We wouldn't be able to shift, right?"
The Universe leads and you are one of its many servants, now. The Universe is leading, and you must follow, and another follows you, and you wonder where it ends. If it ends.
It never ends, does it?
The Universe leads. You follow. And follow. And follow. And now, you're here, watching yourself make the same mistakes.
The Universe leads, and you are one of its guiding stars.
The Universe leads, and you are lost.
The Universe leads, and you... You wonder if the Universe is leading you, or if it is simply turning without any care for the creatures under its skies.
The Bonnie-Siffrin relationship throughout the loops was pretty devastating.
You are Siffrin, trying to be goofy and generally not realizing that losing your eye is a big deal - to other people.
This is Bonnie, a kid! An adorable kid who clearly hates you, and you don't know why.
You are Siffrin. You decide to help everyone? And on the list of helping people is Bonnie.
Bonnie tells you they want to be stronger, and you get it, but also - also, they're still a kid. They deserve to be protected. You have to protect them. They are a kid, and you are an adult.
Bonnie warns you before they hug you. When's the last time anyone hugged you?
You are Siffrin. Bonnie died before your eyes. Bonnie is your kid, and you let them die. You let them die. It is YOUR fault that your kid died.
You are so broken and tired that you consider, for the first time, praying.
It will not make you better. It will not save you. It will not give you a community. It will not protect you. It will not get rid of your problems. It will not change anything.
Miracles require faith, and you have none.
You want to have faith. You want to believe in something higher than yourself, something that may have mercy when it looks down on you.
But you cannot fathom a kindness from a being that you cannot comprehend.
But still. You must cry. You must put into the words the things you have suffered.
