Feb 22, 2019
MoNdAy MoOd
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MoNdAy MoOd
okay but what was eliot’s stage name
and and
do the kenneth crane / roy chapel / jacques lebert conspiracy theorists ever catch on
Ajshhshshdjdj oh MAN it was probably something so fucking cheesy and cowboy sounding like fucking can I get uuuuuuhhhhhhhh
Dodge.
After his car. He named himself after a fucking hotrod for this. Shelley teased him for YEARS afterwards about it.
Dodge City, for the cowboy angle.
There's like. Spoofs out there with him named after Debbie Does Dallas but it's Donna Does Dodge City.
AND HELL YEAH LIKE I SAID IN THE TAGS SMALL BUT LOYAL FANBASE SO IT ALL STAYS ON THE ADULT FORUMS like nobody wants to doxx him for once the internet is a good place the running theory is that his employers keep finding out about his brief porn career and firing him so he has to adopt new identities because he keeps getting blacklisted from all these very public careers.
Hardison bout forgets all his Confused Feelimgs and has a minor panic attack when he realizes that these people have all successfully (AND LITERALLY!!!) pulled a Do The Butts Match? against his elaborate trail erasing, all solely because he didn't exactly add porn sites to his algorithm parameters.
NSFW text below the cut re: the OT3's favored positioning.
Okay so my absolute FAVORITE ot3 sex position headcanon is the one they end up in most often when things are casual.
Like, not fancy date night sex, or thank fuck you made it out of that alive sex, or somedays I can't believe I got so lucky to have you sex... just casual mmmnnn today's nice, the sun's warm through the window... I could use a little action... you wanna? sex.
Because especially with my hc sex-positive ace Parker, this is the one that all three of them get fulfillment from:
Hardison fucking Eliot while Eliot eats Parker out.
Because Eliot's all about providing pleasure to his partners with a skill he can control, has honed, and oral is something that relies entirely on what he is doing, and knows he's doing well. It's not that he doesn't enjoy anal, and he's confident about enough about his thrust technique and angle action that there's still skill involved, it's just that there's still a lot of his partner's pleasure relying on them enjoying how his body itself feels rather than just his skill and ability. So he can get a little lost in oral, and does get more than a little pleasure out of it own it's own, but will usually ignore his own wants and needs in favor of servicing his partner.
[Hardison disliked that.]
He wants to encourage Eliot to focus more on his own pleasure and stop worrying so much about what he's giving to them. It's why he ends up topping more often than not, nothing to do with the actual physical roles involved but because when Eliot's fucking him the man is almost overbearingly attentive to Hardison's needs instead of what he actually wants. Alec likes to fuck as equals, you know?
He wants Eliot to get just as lost in the moment as he is. Parker... Parker doesn't get "lost," so to speak, doesn’t get high like they do before tumbling over the edge, but she still is better about matching her give and take to Hardison's. Eliot just gives and gives and gives and gives... which okay sometimes when Hardison is in the right mood, it's incredibly fucking hot, but usually? He would like for at least one of his partners to be in the same headspace he is for sex. He doesn't think any less of Parker for it, he never would, but sometimes Hardison just craves that specific moment of connection with someone riding the same wave. So he would very much like Eliot to stop trying to steady Hardison's board and just ride it his damn self already.
So, Trade Offer:
Hardison receives - the ability to set the pace and make sure Eliot doesn't do the thing where he gets so caught up in servicing others that he ignores his own pleasure, ramping him up higher and higher so he gets a little too fuzzy to focus so hard on Parker in exchange for just enjoying it himself, and a partner who matches his wavelength in the enjoyment department. Also some damn good fuckin'.
Eliot receives - some damn good fuckin'. Also, he fucking loves giving oral sex. I'm just saying it's so up his little Acts Of Service (Sub) alley it's not even funny. Like I said, he does get pleasure off of it. But he's also having to actually enjoy that pleasure, with Hardison scrambling his brain from the other end too.
Parker receives - Eliot's head in her lap. Hey, it does feel pretty good, and this way with him licking everything up, it doesn't leave the kind of mess she doesn't like. But mostly? It's his hair. She gets full unfettered access to his hair while his head is dipped between her thighs. So she braids it. The fact Eliot will let her have her hands in his hair, not just pulling but acting with specific intent while he's distracted, while his guard is down... that means something to her. The fact Hardison loves to look up and watch her hands deftly flit about the twisting strands with just as much delight in his eyes as when he looks back down at Eliot's trembling body between them... that means something to her.
And also, Eliot's good at his fucking job. She delights in it becoming her own fun little Fine Motor Control Challenge as he makes her body shake with adrenaline and pleasure and whatever other hormones are flooding her system from his ministrations, laughing even as her thighs tighten around his head and her body shakes through her orgasm, because she didn't drop any of the strands this time!!
God I can't believe I have the guts to ask this but Hope and 97?
97) “I think you forgot to lock the door, that means anyone could walk right in and see you like this.”
Having werewolf senses meant that Hope could hear most of what went on in school. She had learned to tune out most of the noise so that she wouldn’t be distracted, but one thing she always enjoyed listening in on was you. Hope knew that you’ve been feeling very horny for the last few weeks, and she was the last person to complain. In her opinion, you were phenomenal in bed, to say the least, and her tribrid stamina meant that you two could go on for several rounds before you called it a night. Unfortunately, she couldn’t be close to you today as Dr. Saltzman had roped her in to his office with an assignment. That meant having to leave you to your own devices for several hours on end.
Four and a half hours into being on your own, you finally couldn’t take it anymore. You found Hope’s favorite strap on and a bottle of lube in the bedroom drawer and laid down on the bed ready to busy yourself until Hope was ready to come back. The moment the tip went inside of you, you couldn’t help but let out a little moan. After a second, you remembered that Hope’s werewolf hearing could pick up on your voice, so you decided to be a little louder. You slid the strap on a little deeper and moaned louder. It felt so good to finally get something inside you, but not nearly as good as actually having Hope on top of you. It didn’t take long for you to get yourself to the edge, and your moans got louder as you felt yourself almost about to come.
You were so close to the climax that you didn’t hear Hope come in until you were done. When you opened your eyes, your girlfriend was standing at the foot of the bed. “I think you forgot to lock the door, that means anyone could walk right in and see you like this.” You were still so horny that you couldn’t even bring yourself to blush.
“I’m glad it was you and not anyone else.”
“Well, don’t stop there. Let’s see how many more times you can come before you’re done.”
hi☺️☺️ would you mind doing 81, 83, 93, and 12 for Lena please?
I only wrote one request for this post, will get to the other 3 requests in later posts.
81) “Is that a thong?”
Board meetings were always a drag for both you and Lena. In the months since you’ve been officially dating, Lena could not go a day without seeing you in her office. Lena had given Jess a raise for being a champ for pretending not to hear the two of you banging in Lena’s office. Today was particularly hard for Lena as all she has been thinking about was the feeling of your fingers inside her. She pressed her legs together in order to maintain some kind of composure, but that movement didn’t escape your notice. After giving your girlfriend a pointed look, you made your way to your office. Lena had your office windows opacified for this exact reason, and she hurriedly excused herself after you left.
As soon as she came inside your office, you were already sitting at your desk. “Don’t think I didn’t see you squirming in that meeting back there. Come here.” Lena sat on your desk and you moved her thighs apart with ease. You could see she was wearing a thong that was already soaked through. “So wet for me already?” Lena could only moan in response as you slipped her underwear off.
Further talk was halted as you went down on her. Lena muffled her own moans as you teased her with your tongue and fingers. You knew the effect you had on her as she got wetter the more you moved your hands. Before long, you had made the dark-haired CEO come over you, and you finally moved your head from between her legs. Wiping off your mouth with a smirk, you gave her a chaste kiss. “Maybe it’s time to get back to that meeting?”
Lena gave you a swat on your shoulder and moved to straighten out her blouse. “Asshole.” When she bent over to pick up her underwear, you moved and picked it up.
“I’ll hold on to these.” You put them in your pant pocket and patted the lump. “You’ll get these back when we get home.”
When the two of you made it back to the meeting, Sam gave you an eye roll to express her light disapproval at your “extracurricular needs” during a meeting with the shareholders. The people talking still nearly put you to sleep, but you noticed that Lena seemed less tense than she was before. Finally, the last shareholder finished talking and everyone got up to leave. You were one of the last people to go, and when you got up from your seat, Sam’s voice stopped you in your tracks. “(Y/N), is that a thong?” Her voice sounded on the border of scandalized and amused, and you hurriedly went back to your seat to pick up the item. It was your turn to have a face as red as a tomato, and as you hurried off, you heard Sam call out, “Make sure to keep it in your pants this time, (Y/N)!”
A Private Showing (Diana Prince x Reader)
Requested by anon: Can you do Diana Prince and underwear model fem!reader where reader gives diana a private fashion show? R teases diana relentlessly as she struts around in Victoria's Secret underwear "No touching Ms.Prince", Diana almost breaking the arm rests of the chair she is seated by trying not to jump on her gf. You can write some smut or some fluff around this. Thanks in advance! I love your writing and nsfw Diana ^^
Words: 1603
Ever since Diana had come into your life, things seemed to just fall in place. You don’t remember when the line between “friend” and “lover” blurred between you and your girlfriend, but you definitely remember how you met. It was a month before the annual show, and you had just walked into the building for your final fittings. This wasn’t your first rodeo with the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but you still felt that adrenaline rush when the time of year rolled around. It only seemed like yesterday when you got called into walking in your first show, and the feeling just never got old. What made this year different was that you now had a girlfriend who was going to be in the audience.
You had met Diana last year in a chance encounter. It had just been a regular day until it wasn’t/ On your morning run through the park, you looked up from petting your neighbor’s dog to see the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. She had given you a little smile, but of course, that smile had caused you to trip on your face like an idiot when you tried to get back to running. Ever since then, you and Diana had been dating and you couldn’t have been happier.
The formal show was two weeks away, but you wanted to practice first. Sure, you and the other models have already had practice runs with the clothing, but you had something different in mind. You couldn’t help but laughed quietly as you thought of the surprise you had waiting for your girlfriend. Throughout the week you’ve left her cryptic messages about expected a “surprise” in the near future, but you’ve stopped before giving her any details. You were sure that Diana was about to explode with curiosity, but that only made the surprise better in your opinion. Everything was set for tonight, and you couldn’t wait for Diana to come home from work.
-----
From the very start of your relationship, Diana had known that you were a tease. There were definitely days when this trait was very frustrating because most of the time Diana just wanted to throw you over a flat surface and have you moan her name until she was finished with you. But through the last year, she has learned that holding out on herself for the moment only made the actual experience much better. This week, however, was an entirely new experience. You had gone around the house leaving her hints that there was going to be “something unexpected” for her later in the week, and Diana has been looking forward to it since then. She tried not to think about it on her way to work as she could feel her libido rising with each moment she thought about having your warm, soft body under hers.
The day seemed to drag on forever as time went from morning to noon. If Diana didn’t know any better, she could have sworn that someone was purposefully slowing downtime so she would have to wait. Her phone buzzed and she smiled when she saw that the text was from you, and she hurried to open it. But the moment she did she instantly regretted it because you had sent a picture of yourself with a coat barely draped over your shoulders. Diana could barely catch a peek of some lacey lingerie underneath the coat, but it was enough to send her libido through the roof. All that went along with the picture was a kissy face emoji, which told her that you knew exactly what you were doing when you sent her that picture. Diana thanked the gods that you had said your teasing ends tonight or she would have marched over to you then and there so she could relieve some of the tension between her legs. But instead, she chose to be patient and wait for what you had in store for her.
The end of the day couldn’t come fast enough for Diana as she hurried her way home. She was so distracted by her thoughts of finally being able to have you that it felt like walking back home was a dream. She finally stopped at the apartment you had gotten with her and smiled at the post-it note that said: “Private Showing inside”. She could only guess as to what that meant, but it could only be good considering the fact that you made her wait a week for whatever was inside.
Opening the door, she called out your name. Not hearing an answer, she went into the living room to find you sitting on a chair right in the middle of the room. Seeing her, you immediately got up and went over to kiss her.
“How was work today, baby?”
“I couldn’t take my mind off of you, but I think you know that already.” Diana couldn’t help herself and her lips immediately latched onto your neck. But instead of opening yourself up to her more like you usually do, you pushed her away from you a little, causing her to look at you with a hurt expression. “Baby, what’s going on?”
“No kissing, at least not right now. I want you to sit right here while I show you what I’ll be wearing for the show in a few weeks. No touching until I tell you it’s okay.” You led Diana to the chair you were just sitting on and gently kissed her. From the way she chased your lips when you pulled away, it was obvious that Diana was using every last ounce of her will power to stop herself from throwing you on the top of the couch and releasing all her pent up energy from the last week. You quickly disappeared into the next room and changed into your first look. It was not as flashy or revealing as the last look that you had in mind, but it was definitely good enough to get you started. Walking back to the room where Diana was seated, you could see that her eyes were immediately glued on you. From the look on her face, it seemed like she could just eat you up, which was exactly what you were going for.
“How do I look?” You gave an experimental twirl, and the decorations flew around you.
“You look...amazing.” Diana’s hands were gripped tight on the armrests of the chair, and her knuckles whitened as you stepped closer.
“Ready for the next one?” You saw goosebumps rise on the side of Diana’s neck and you couldn’t stop grinning to yourself. Today was going to be a very good night, and you couldn’t wait for Diana’s willpower to finally break. Quickly getting into your second look, you decided to take it a step further and sat right on Diana’s lap. A desperate whine escaped her throat as her lips brushed your skin, and you were pretty sure that you heard a crack on the chair as Diana bravely attempted to keep her hands to herself. You knew that if this was her reaction to you sitting on her lap, your third outfit was going to send her over the edge, which was exactly what you wanted. Before it got to that point, you slide off of your girlfriend’s lap and went to go change into your final outfit. You knew that this was going to be the one that would finally make Diana not be able to stop herself from practically tackling you onto the bed. Needless to say, you were beyond turned on just thinking about Diana mercilessly topping you all night because of your endless teasing, and you couldn’t help but rub your legs together a little bit before opening the door.
Right as you got out the door, Diana’s little gasp told you all you needed to know. “Do you like how I look?” When you looked over at Diana, you were pretty sure that she didn’t trust herself to speak. Her mouth opened and closed several times, and she finally managed to say, “Good, you look amazing.” You’ve never seen Diana like this, and you were happy that you were the reason why Diana was left stuttering.
This time when you sat on her lap, you noticed that Diana couldn’t stop her hips from moving towards yours, and you had to bite back a little grin. You knew that your girlfriend was beyond turned on for you, and you decided that she had behaved herself enough to warrant a reward. Leaning towards her ear, you whispered, “Babe, it’s okay to take your hands off the chair now.” As Diana immediately put both of her hands on your torso, one arm of the chair clattered onto the floor.
“Oops,” Diana mumbled as her mouth bit hickeys on your neck. Her hands moved expertly on your back and quickly took off the little you had on. You were too distracted by her kissing to notice that she was careful not to tear anything and get you in trouble for giving her this little show. Before long, her nimble fingers was done undressing you and Diana immediately picked you up and carried you over the couch. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do this, little one?”
“Okay, first of all, I’m only half an inch shorter than you. And secondly, I’ve only been teasing you here and there.”
“Well, I think you’re very good at what you do. Now, less talking and more doing what I’ve been wanting to do for the last week.”
Giving Hope Mikaelson A Lap Dance Would Include....
Requested by anon: Giving/getting a lap dance from Hope?
You’ve been wanting to give Hope a lap dance for a while now, there was never a “right” time
Waiting for Hope to get back to school and making sure she’s alright before setting up the room
Hope looked really confused when she first walked in, but she figured it out pretty quickly
Once you start grinding your hips on Hope she gets really flustered
She’ll grab you by the hips and kiss you as you continue to give her a lap dance
Hope is so turned on by you that she picks you up and pretty much throws you on the bed
You’ll pout at her because now you can’t keep teasing her
-However, you’re the last person to complain considering how dominant Hope is with you all night
Josie just so happened to be walking by your room and helped you put a noise-canceling spell so your dorm won’t be subjected to hearing your moans all night
Vowing to give Hope more lap dances if this is how turned on she gets
Hope is very embarrassed when she sees all the hickeys and bruises on your body the next morning, but you tell her it feels good before kissing her hand