Pleasing the Lord
I was thinking on my life the other day and longing once again, as I tend to do on occasion, for a family. I went to church Sunday and the pastor spoke on the sanctity of life and the treasure of children. I think children are a blessing. The Bible itself says so. Psalm 127:3 states, "Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from Him". I so often have desired a large family to teach God's Word, carry on the family name, be there when I am old and to see God's great blessing. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I have never been married nor had a family; yet I still have a deep passion for families and seeing them successful and united together in Christ.
This journey of family caused me to do the "what if" thing in my mind. What if I had gotten married? What if some young lady from high school or college had become my wife? How would my life has been different? I was determined to preach and likely would have still went through college, likely my alma mater, and earned a pastoral degree, just as I did. Perhaps, with the encouragement of a wife I would have already earned a masters degree instead of working on it now. But that's where anything familiar would have stopped. Having a wife and maybe even a child, I never would have taken a $10,000, 1 year internship at a small church in Michigan. I certainly would have either taken the youth pastorate I was offered in Pennsylvania at the time or, being married, I may have had other senior pastor ministries open up. Who knows where that would have led? I would, most likely, be serving in a church as a pastor and would still be there today or went onto another church by this time.
Being single I missed out on some opportunities that I can never get back. But I did gain others I never would have taken. I took a chance and went to that little church in Michigan for a one year internship. I stayed for 17 years. In that time I met great people, many who are still like family to me and I know I could even call today any time I needed them. I came to enjoy fishing, took several trips to Canada, went to Brazil, and discovered a passion for working with struggling teenagers. I doubt I ever would have found that out if I had been married.
If I was married I likely never would have worked so closely with youth going through a difficult time. I would have worked with church families, who have struggles as well, but not with those who are lost in a world of drugs, utter rebellion, incarceration, family turmoil, addiction, pornography, violence and more. I doubt I would have entered that world, and no one would have condemned that action. I would have been focused on my family, as I should have been. I would have desired for their growth in Christ and wanted to do what was best for them. I never would have sold most of my belongings and taken up the rest to move from an apartment in Michigan to a single room in Georgia to work at a residential home for troubled teenage boys. I never would have done that with a family.
The Lord then brought to my mind 1 Corinthians 7:32-34:
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided."
I never thought of myself as "being anxious for the Lord". I desired to be that kind of man but thought it unattainable to me. I don't pray with fervor and passion like Christ or Daniel. I am not as Biblically brilliant as Paul. I seem to sin in greater degrees than David. How can I be single and focused on the Lord? But God reminded me that this is what my life has been. I have been living for Him as a single person in ways I never would have done or, perhaps, could have done as a married man. I served him in unique ways, and still do. Throughout that time he has provided me with "family" and friends. He has brought people into my life that I, as a single pastor and man, could influence for Christ. People I never would have been able to impact had I been married.
I still get to do that today. In the last three years alone God has allowed me to impact 87 struggling teenager's and their hurting family's lives. And that number continues to increase. I never would have done this if I had been married. I would have been focused on my wife and six kids or however many I would have been blessed with by God. Instead, God has allowed me to be “anxious for Him”. I do need to grow in my prayer life, be more fervent in His Word and live more like Christ. In other words, I’m not there yet. But I cannot forget what God has done and see the service He has allowed, not as a curse because I could not do it with my own family; but as a blessing because I could do it at all. Thanks be to God for all He has done and will do through my life. May I always “be anxious for the Lord”. May you be as well.
