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Niall with Noah Kahan backstage in Boston

2 Dec 2025, writing here at 1.10am.

Hie love,

Sometimes i find myself spiralling downwards.

I cried just now while selawat. Hmm.

I read someone posted in IG. Saying, 'dont wish for yourself Fall or sickness, Love yourself.'

So the story said that the wife felt lonely (not talking (in their marriage, was abuse, or rocky marriage) and then she wishes that she was sick so that maybe if she was sick her husband will pay attention to her and it will all get better. So she doa and eventually prayed Tahajjud. Afterwards Allah showed her that her Husband wasnt meant for her and they divorced. After the divorce, one day, the woman found that she had Cancer. Nauzubillah minzalik.

So yeah this story shows the power of doa. The power of holding on to hope, positivity and, having faith in Allah. And most importantly to love your self!

OK! Im gonna love my self. Hieee love ❤️ 😍 hehe.

What i did today 1dec?

By the way i realised, these 2 days, today 1 Dec and yesterday, somehow im very energetic and productive yeayy me! Might be im at my late luteal phase? Hehe.

Today 1 Dec:

1. I washed the clothes, dry, hang and fold.

2. I played with baby, she laughed and screeched just now. It was so cute.

3. I fed her potato puree. Alhamdulillah she managed to almost finish all.

4. I cleaned the house. Did a reset house just now.

5. Salam my husband and made him kissed my forehead when he go out to work in the morning.

6. Able to make baby sleep tonight.

7. I enjoyed talking with my friends Ayu and Ierah today.

8. I felt grateful that my friends gifts me baby's gift. Alhamdulillah.

9. I prayed to Allah so that my husband achieved his MDRT 2026 qualification award.

10. I dzikir Astarghfirullah and Selawat today. And read 1 page of the AL-Quran. Yeay me. Alhamdulillah.

What do i wish?

1. I wish i could communicate, have quality timw and amazing conversation time with him. Effective good communication. I missed laughters the spontaneity.

2. I wish we could be like lovebirds , like we used to before back in the old days, before the fights and arguments happen.

3. I wish i was more kind, latiff and wadud towards him, conversation and situations.

4. I wish i am more consistent in my productivity, just like today or even more.

5. I wish not to be hurt or cry anymore.

6. I wish to love my self and body. Of course lose weight and be more prettier.

Hehe. Writing this makes me cry again. Huhu.

Okay, xoxo.

#1Dec25 #2dec25 #personal #post