#1doom

[sweariwouldnt]

Morning.

And also a big fuck you to anyone ever having sent hate on or off anon, bullying people or making this fandom feel like not a safe, good place to anyone.

I woke up to see one of my fave blogs has deleted - not because they needed a break, or stopped believing, or because they wanted to leave. They wanted to stay and support the boys, were vocal about it but I guess one post, one opinion was deemed so unworthy by so many that they got showered in hate and felt their own fandom was not a safe, happy place for them. This all in less than 12 hours.

And that’s just one example. I truly cannot understand when did people stop understanding that different opinions exist? That not every opinion that differs from yours, means that it’s a chance for you to roll up your sleeves, get typing and get ooh sassy! (i.e.mean and bitchy) because you somehow think the other person’s different opinion is not as thought-through and strong as yours? That you can make them change their mind if you get sassy enough? Make them see the light?

There is still good discussion, respectful exchange of opinions and considering different viewpoints that exists, yes. And that’s good, this is not what this is about. If you have a blogger you hate, love to hateread, or you see a post that makes you want to get mean (and that is honestly the first sign that you should not send anything to that blogger), what do you get out of sending hate? Like what do you think is the end result going to be? Them answering publically and saying ‘yes oh smart one, you helped me see my ways’? Or just to make them feel shit and purposefully hope they get sad and cry and maybe delete?

There is no harm in not reacting. None. I see posts I roll my eyes at, I have bloggers I think have absolutely lost the plot and have no respect for their opinions. I know this so I avoid their blogs. I know we don’t agree. I see from posts that 'oh I don’t agree with that at all’ and scroll further, maybe go unfollow/blaklist/block. It has yet harmed my life in no way to not send hate to a person I do not agree with.

We all have our faves and opinions and this fandom has been a very rough place for a long time. I know people and feelings have gotten volatile, but please for the love of everything, be nice or be nothing. It’s ok to disagree. It’s ok to think someone is a dickhead who should choke. It’s not ok to go to another person’s safe, happy place and personally attack them. You are not doing anyone a favour or defending anyone in a good way.

Choose that damn love every day or at least decide not to be a hateful person ✌

[sweariwouldnt]

I am so confused at seeing how some people still seem to have the idea that we fans can affect the narrative or what happens at all? There's plenty of years of evidence showing it literally is out of our hands. Nothing we do affects anything when it comes to the story that's sold.

We've debunked, we've raised questions, we've proved stuff. It doesn't matter. Nothing is over until the bigger powers decide it's over.

Stream. Vote. Love. Be nice. Talk. Support. But my goodness people, give up the God complex and stop claiming that any of what happens narrative-wise is somehow the fault of anyone here.

[sweariwouldnt]

The way I Larrie.

I had an anon yesterday, that I did reply to, but a lot of what they said has been on my mind since reading the ask. I feel that anon was a rather good representative of what’s, to me at least to me, one of the most upsetting things about this fandom these days and why being on tumblr sometimes feels very anxious and negative.

The anon accused me of being a Harrie. Yeah, I am. I’m also a Louie. This all results from being a Larrie, which the last time I checked, is a combination of Louis+Harry. Some people have their faves, and it’s fine. Most of us recognise ‘the other’ is our fave’s fave. Some of us, like me, are Larries first and foremost, and that’s a nifty way of supporting them both equally. 

Which is why I absolutely don’t get this current trend and attitude that you sort of have to pick either to love and that must mean you HATE the other, and be as bitter as possible about it. Such whatthefuck?-ery. Sure, we have some people in the fandom who turned nasty towards the other whilst supporting the other (I don’t think it’s reasonable to say it’s only hardcore Harries or Louies who are hateful and nasty; there’s plenty in each camps). But this... is not normal. It’s not the norm, and having this fandom eat itself alive thinking that it’s suddenly impossible to not ‘pick a side’ and turn hateful against either Harry or Louis, and their fans. 

I was also accused of not owning up and admitting my fave did a mistake (as the anon claims I’m a Harrie). I find it funny, personally, as during Harry’s less-than-impressive bits of his promo, I made quite a few posts about how displeased I was with several aspects of his promo, and also got hate for that then, apparently for being hateful against Harry. Now, I’m accused of being naive and never saying Harry my precious fave fucks up. And what resulted this? Voicing my displeasure about certain bits I can see Louis’ team is doing PR wise. Maybe it’s just me, but saying ‘your fave fucked up, own up to it’ as an accusation/defense is a bit... ironic.  

As I believe they are still in a good, committed, long-term relationship, discussing and agreeing to how their shared life and their careers go forward and make sure to stay on the same page, I don’t know why it’s suddenly an awful thing to treat them both with the same principles. I support them both, but I also don’t want to shut my eyes from some stuff both have put forward during their promo. Both of their teams have done fuck-ups. I didn’t like it with Harry, I don’t like it with Louis. And, newsflash, saying you don’t like promo bits doesn’t mean you hate either or think they are doing this or that themselves as people. 

It’s actually possible to differentiate between Harry, and Louis, and Harry’s team and Louis’ team. Seeing clear narratives and probable PR moves and reacting to them is not the same as accusing either, as people, of being awful. I wouldn’t be here if I thought that of them as people. 

So yeah. Just wanted to clear this up whilst my follower count keeps decreasing - this is my viewpoint and if you don’t like it or disagree, absolutely do unfollow. Heck, I do that a lot too. It takes quite a lot of strength sometimes in this fandom to shut your ears from the noise and not get lost in what the current trends are, so having been able to do that finally, I don’t think my blog is a place for anyone who thinks that saying something sucks immediately means I’m a nasty anti-Harryorlouis because for me, it doesn’t work that way. I support them both equally. I love them and their love for each other. Sure, I get pessimistic and with things that have happened previously, I sometimes find it hard to immediately disregard something lightly. Trying to look at things objectively and with an open-mind (even when it doesn’t necessarily give you the result you’d hope for) is the way I’ve found to be the best for me to operate in this fandom. 

There’s a huge difference between being critical and being hateful, and I hate that this fandom has blurred lines with it, but considering a lot of fandom shenanigans lately, I guess it’s vaguely understandable. 

[sweariwouldnt]

Fandoom feels.

These days, I truly feel a little bit - well, a lot - lost in this fandom, as lately a lot of things that have started with good intentions, are used for ego boosting and drama creation. Nothing seems to be about voicing your own opinion anymore; it’s either entitlement, policing or manipulation. And... some of it is. Feels like it’s sort of like ‘crying wolf’ in both ways, losing the sight of what is actual toxic behaviour with starting to feel like everything is. 

There ARE some people who aim to manipulate, with varying degrees of visibility on their agendas. Then again, not all criticism and plainly stating your opinion/analysis/feelings is anything but just that: saying what you feel like or think. 

I’m also personally unsure at this point what’s the difference between disagreeing and policing and then responding to different opinions or counter-policing. Policing is just so daft; the holy triangle of blacklist/block/unfollow is an excellent trio of tools (obviously not a great set for mobile). 

Feels like those two things are more aggressive forms of living for or keeping alive, the drama. I don’t know if it’s just me having completely gone bonkers in this introverted little cluster on a website about a band, but it feels like there’s now two more passive aggressive ‘trends’ sneaking into what is considered the norm now. 

People should always put their own feelings first and take a break if they feel like it'd be good for them; but also, I feel like suggesting someone to take a break has almost become this go-to response of anyone feeling anything, in a very belittling way sometimes. Same goes with calling anything that is maybe a hope or a wish for better or a note that something is unlike before, entitlement - a great way to shut down any sort of discussion as no one wants to come off as entitled.

I find it hard these days to even think in this war of words. 

[sweariwouldnt]

So!

If you consider yourself to be a proud Louie or proud Harrie, AND think that gives you a valid reason to shit on the other whilst 'protecting' and 'supporting' your fave, can you please exclusively reveal yourself and we'll just unfollow each other? Having a fave is one thing. Loving your fave is one thing. Talking about the awful situation everyone is in, is one thing. Turning bitter towards a person you don't know because you have made up ideas about how they treat their partner, and holding onto that hate, is getting transparent and tiresome. That's not what I want in my fandom experience, from any side, I'm here for love. We all have our own blogs that give us a space that should be safe to say whatever we want, even if that stuff isn't agreed to - our blogs, our thoughts. This hunting of people saying what they think is so shameful and totally not what this band, for which I think we all came here for, stands for. Just like hunting down a person for every little thing they do, and especially don't do, is shameful. Things I have noticed are possible and make your life easier: Unfollow. Blacklist. Block. If you know someone disagrees with everything you think and reading their opinions makes you feel like shit, don't. Also possible things: Don't be a dickhead. If you hate Harry/Louis so much that your existence revolves around that hate, and yet you still claim to love and support their partner, maybe either choose love or fix your stance. Hate and bitterness of the other does not equal love and support for the other.

[sweariwouldnt]

Feeling like a frying pan. Used but some teflon still remains unscratched.

I think I have made my peace with BG for now. It will end when it will - I still hold onto 'when' instead of 'if'. I feel it’s a bigger thing for the fandom right now, the scale in which is exists and dooms, than to the people acting their parts a few times a year. They will use it for promo, how much and what way remains to be seen. It’s not great, it’s awful. Louis is a shining star as is his talent and that should always be enough. I don’t know what’s the purpose of any of this, but I do take solace in how positive Louis has seemed lately. For now. I don’t think BG right now (knock on wood) is much of a practical bother, just exhausting.

This fandom loves to talk a lot about fan entitlement these days. I think we should also talk about entitlement to fans, especially by other fans. ‘Support no matter what’ is not personally for me. I will support as long as people feel worthy of it; and Louis still does. He’s done things, just as have Harry and Niam, that I am not a fan of but the core person still feels good. Reality checks of remembering they are just people are so good and healthy - currently seeing other fans of other people blindly adore their idols and unwilling to question the things they do, and I don’t want to become that.

They are not perfect though and neither are we. We are allowed to our feelings, we all have different boundaries and limits of what we can deal with. Taking a break or just leaving doesn’t make anyone weak or bad - it has been long, it has been rough. We’ll see how things play out - for myself, I don’t know how much of promo revolving around a fake baby I can take anymore. And it’s ok. Louis will still have people who love him around him, he’ll still be able to do what he loves, and hopefully be happy. They are not responsible for your happiness but you are also not responsible for theirs.

[sweariwouldnt]

This bullying thing.

I love that social justice and people recognising issues and educating each other about them has increased in the world. It’s needed, important, and also long due. It has, however, also created this - dare I say - problematic environment where throwing in a few fancy words in disagreements has become the norm; a way to shut down any discussion and to demean other people by stomping them whilst sitting in a high horse. Real issues often get buried beneath people crying wolf at any single thing that’s said.

Some people behave in a shit way. Some people are shit. Them being women, gay, straight, POC, doesn’t mean they can’t be shit people. Equality should be about treating people as people regardless of their features; being X doesn’t make you less than Y but it also doesn’t mean you can do no wrong.

I see ‘bullying’ is now joining the group of a few words to throw around. I’m unsure when it became the norm to group being critical, voicing your opinion, concentrating on hate, and bullying, together. They are not the same. How is saying what you think a commendable thing for someone but not for someone else? Some people have opinions another people don’t agree with, and they might say so in their own blogs. This is rather far from bullying; it’s disagreeing. Sure; if you start approaching people with a different opinion with a vicious purpose, maybe get others to join you, that then resembles bullying a lot. Same way as does stamping someone negatively as this or that for what you think you know and see.

It seems like currently, saying anything in your blog is considered an indirect -> bullying. If you see things that you feel are indirects, maybe it’s worth looking in the mirror, too? If you feel like someone talking about bloggers with a personal hate dilemma is a clear indirect to someone you know or are, maybe it says quite a bit about you that you’d recognise people in that? Different opinions are not bullying, from either side. Also, bullying is not voicing a different opinion. Using the bullying-card when it suits you and then when you do it and claim you’re just being critical…

I’m sad to see what has become of our group of people who initially got here to support love and enjoy themselves. I still do think all of our negativity did initially start from a good place; rooting for our fave(s). I’m not sure when that became to mean ‘hate your faves fave’ for so many.

I have tags ‘I want my band back’ and also ‘I want my fandom back’. The other is looking a lot more realistic.

[sweariwouldnt]

It will probably never stop absolutely baffling me how a band of four amazing people, so kind and sweet and considerate, spreading love and positivity, have managed to attract ‘fans’ who are literally some of the absolute worst, despicable individuals I have ever seen.