lilith experience
i'm still not sure if it's an honest assessment of 1h lilith's influence 'cause i'm prone to gaslight myself and have an imposter syndrome (thanks to my ketu in 2h? i guess). ik people say that heavy lilith placements natives get mostly scrutinized by our own gender but i might say men were more annoying towards me than women ever have been. they have this tendency to tell me how i'm supposed to be/act like i care about their opinion on my life. i'm not a confrontational person but they find the ways to get on my nerves ngl. and women have been a lil bit competitive with me especially about my intelligence/people being attracted to me/my luck lol (i'm jupeterian punarvasu stellium) and that made me SO uncomfortable. ik healthy competition can be great but it just felt intrusive 'cause i'm not trying to compete so why are you acting like this and that attitude coming from 'friends' been really weird. i used to downplay myself constantly so they wouldn't feel inferior to me that was lost cause and i regret it now. 'cause we fell out of our friendship and no matter what i'm always the problem and villain like taylor said "They're gonna crucify me anyway". damn that sounds arrogant lmao i'm sorry