#2.15.2020

[brianajungwirthinstagram]

The sound of nature is so calming to me

2.15.2020

[secrets-of-may]

Hey I had to come be honest on here bc twitter hit different but I was always able to keep it real on this acc.

I’m miserable. Yesterday a depressive episode hit me out of nowhere and it’s all my fault. Honestly it fucking is. All I have to do is just put myself first for once. Why is that so difficult?? Like just tell my mom what I think just once. Fuck. I’ve been trying to stay buried in denial these past days and it isn’t working.

I — I feel like I can’t do it. But if not now then fucking when??? Am I really going to be a failure for the rest of my life??

I’m so lonely. But what does it even really matter? If I can’t even stand up for myself or what I believe in . . . .

Maybe I do need to call that psychiatrist on Tuesday.