#2000s swag

[azsdiary]

Sooo idk if I ever mentioned this but seeing Jennie Kims face long before I knew her name or what she did or who BP were, would always fill me with a very strong motivation to keep going in life no matter how down I felt. Literally even when I felt s******l. Very unexplainable but true. The beauty of sunsets etc has done the same, so I guess it’s just an extension of that.

Years ago after I decided to quit, this video about Jennie the villain of Kpop came up on my feed. I was like :0 that’s her! She’s a villain? Why? I didn’t follow Kpop at all and still don’t, but I learnt that a lot of people dislike her for all the reasons she inspired me. For example her ‘lazy’ dancing reminded me of 2000s black video girl dancing where subtle movements were used to create an impression of effortless appeal that I couldn’t stop watching.

Anyway this kept happening to me and I found that songs movies and things that I loved so deeply and that had even helped save my life. had a lot Of hate! And that’s how I learnt that hate comments are meaningless. If not a badge of honor. Things people hate saved my life - others’ lives. Like Jesus.

It’s still MB 5eva tho!!

[azsdiary]

I’ll be so fr and tell you maybe it’s the 2am talking but there’s some real conspiracy stuff going on right here in my life and idk y’all maybe my mind just links things up too well and I’m usually just tripping about this time of year anyways the sun goes down too late got me awake too late up too early

There was soo much I didn’t know before Saturday that put everything in perspective. With just 1 phone call.

Anyway - don’t worry, take life slowly as you need it’s not a race it’s a painting just make sure it’s as pretty as you can make it - and remember to work, be creative and do is a blessing from God (desiring God.org taught me that such a gem)

Y’all today my mind keeps jumping to this guy who I embarrassed myself with I can’t Go onto detail I’ll just say y’all know I have nightmares where the premise is just me expressing my deep admiration to someone and they’re creeped out and think I’m weird!? Drake, Meagan good someone like that.

Truthfully it’s often bc they’re insecure and don’t think they deserve the admiration so get turned off by you expressing it.

Loooool y’all tell me why I walked 3 min down the rd and back to the corner store and when I got back I had a dm from a man idk telling me he saw me but was nervous to approach me??! The other day there was a DIFFERENT man idk waiting outside my HOUSE for me - do too much. I also discovered stalking isn’t about admiration it’s a desire to possess that thing usually out of jealousy and they like it bc you being creeped by them matches their own low self image.

So I can get followed Everytime I step out but I can’t find sb attractive who is Godly and attracted to me?! Be frrrrfr

[frailhanded]

banger, i been waiting for this to drop

[frailhanded]

at least we got this swag white boy while shine gone