Highlights of 2015
According to what I remember/FB (lmao):
Watching Jake Bugg & Ben Howard live
My first overseas gig was watching Jake Bugg and my last was Ben Howard. In both occasions, I watched the show with Joanna. It was definitely something that I was emotional about. Jake & Howard’s show was something so emotionally and mentally driven that I was just sitting at one side and just soaked the moment all in. I came and wen’t as a different person; that alone was an experience that I would never forget. Oh I think I am also shocked to catch Hudson Taylor as the opening as well. It was amazing after being a recent fan.
Finally catching George Ezra live.
This was my first gig alone in London. I remember taking the train and tube there with little layers and just decided to walk under the rain. It was the dumbest idea I had ever had but I can’t believe I decided to wear only 2 layers during the winter (like, wtf Amanda?) That being said, it was my favourite gig by far. Although the idea watching a gig alone can be slightly intimidating, it turned out to be the most uplifting night. Ezra was humorous as he was a storyteller himself but the crowd was great and the opening acts were on point as well.
The unexpected thing was being able to catch Seafret, Josef Salvat and Nothing But Thieves. These acts were seriously amazing live.
Discovering Netflix
LOL! Sounds fucking stupid but Netflix was part of my life in 2015 and it made me realize how much I didn’t enjoy companionship at times. As much as it can get lonely sometimes, Netflix was there for me <3
My Faith
My faith grew stronger early this year and it was the best bond I ever had with my brothers and sisters in Christ. That is till I came back to Malaysia, I found myself realizing why I strayed away in the first place. It wasn’t that I didnt believe in Him anymore or that I dislike my church. I just simply dislike the rules incepted in our church by the people/members that implements prejudice and slander upon members that somehow “don’t fit in”. That alone gave me a reason to not be around people that keeps gossiping bout me when they clearly don’t know jack shit bout my life.
I had also grown freaking annoyed at my mother complying to their judgements and my flaws that I simply don’t view as flaws. I had come to a realization that my family and I are completely different and therefore, I keep my opinions to myself. My life choices now may look like they are horrible decisions but I aim to live and love on the basis of how I want it to be and not what the world wants me to become; in the expense of not hurting anyone around me.
My Freedom
I have to admit, the freedom I had in UK was amazing. Like I said, it can get lonely but I could do whatever I wanted. I could find peace whenever I want to. I could travel and spend/save however I wanted. I could eat without having my mother breathe down my neck telling me it was something I shouldn’t eat because...God knows why. I honestly felt like I learned so much.
In the course of 2 weeks of travelling back to London with my mum, she had complained about EVERYTHING. From the fact that I chat with the taxi drivers or random strangers to the transportation and walking. I understand that in Malaysia it would’ve been stranger and foreign to do such things but in all honesty, I felt the same when I first arrive in London. It was awkward and weird seeing my friends being chummy with random strangers, but I was completely fine with it after because I got into the culture. It was great! However, the same can’t be same for my mum.
Having her nag at me everyday from then on was the most horrible thing ever. I gotta admit I did miss her nagging but I guess I wasn’t used to being controlled anymore. I talked back more often because that is how the Brits would do it. Not being fucking submissive to the older voices but the rationale of things. Of course, being Asian that rationale means being rude to your elders. That sucked.
My Friends
I made so many friends from all over the world. This also gave me the confidence to be friends with anybody from different countries. My new found confidence could sometimes backfire now that I’m back in Malaysia but hey, we learn something everyday huh? I made friends from Germany, France, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Dutch and more. Even learned some African on the way, it was refreshing. I was so motivated by these people because they all brought so much to the conversation, it made me feel like it was okay to voice out certain things. That alone, gave me a whole new personality to deal with and I was completely happy with the BBC’s I hang out with in church as well. They were like family to me and I could only thank God for that.
On the other hand, I also had my friends that are Malaysians and the ones that still keep up with me back home. It was something that I appreciate even after I came home, I made more friends that I expected myself to. Some, I still hang and connect better with but some are better left in the closet to rot. It’s scary how you come home and see some people just don’t change and you thank heavens that you did. Seeing my old acquittances still stuck in the same cycle after 3-4 years scares me. *shudders*
Getting a Job
I finally got a job in August and I’m still in this company until now. I struggled so much when I first started and I wouldn’t say I am doing great now but I am definitely better at handling things now than before. I’m just glad I even have money at the end of the day. So yeah, growing up is hard but I come to realize that I’m just now ready to become an adult yet. Not when most of my friends are still studying I guess.
Love Loss and Other Shitty Feelings
Yes, I fell out of love and whatever but I guess that is okay. I had this super weird and complicated relationship with this guy I met end of 2014 and it continue subconsciously to evolve into an unspoken LDR eventhough we both agreed that we were not ready for a relationship. It backfired. We got into it and we still didn’t know how to justify what we were cause technically speaking we didn’t freaking have a proper relationship. So what is this? I have no fucking idea. That being said, I manage to meet different guys on my way and had my own fun on the way. No judgement from anyone or what so ever, I found myself being alright with my new found promiscuous.
Sponsorships
I got a few sponsorships this year that gave my social media more credit. I may not be some fucking famous instagrammer or whatever but I did have a lot of coverage in these recent years on my fashion and account. So I thank God for that, it was something that I appreciate eventhough I don’t find myself very talented in many areas (i.e writing).
I guess thats all for now. I can’t figure out anymore than I could remember for now. I shall add the rest in the future. Thanks for reading again. <3
Happy New Year everyone!
