#2018-12-12

[egs-comic]

[fe-dame]

The frostflower looks reeeally nice on Lewyn ✿

And I also think the Hoshidan headpiece looks the least out of place on Lewyn lol

[fe-dame]

I SWEAR MY FUJOSHI HEART WAS JUST THINKING OF IKE X SOREN APLENTY YESTERDAY WHILE SUMMONING FOR LEWYN AND THEN TODAY WHAT THE !@##$%^&

Spent only on red and greens of course, LQ was the freebie and Soren was the third summon :))))) but when will i be able to make a team of 3 Ikes and a Soren

And as for my free ticket, no green orbs OF COURSE OF COURSE THIS BANNER IS RIGGED AGAINST ME THEY DON'T WANT TO GIVE ME ANOTHER LEWYN

But it's okay, because Legault :)

[lksrst]

[iamwhoiam-]

retro

what if we did get back together...what would I say to him?

Well, from all of that online research that i did before, we should probably fix all the problemms that we had. starting with being more optimiistic. 

I mean if he doesn’t want to be any of the things or doesn’t want to work on it or doesn’t want to get back to gether. at least i tried and it is no longer on me that we broke up right? 

[iamwhoiam-]

Reminisce

uYou know that feeling when you are dating someone but you still constantly think about an ex? That is the one I am feeling right now. 

I miss him so much, more than words can explain. Even though I haven’t talked to him since july and even though we broke up in february, I still think of him as one of the people that I truly and deeply love and care about. Maybe that love isn’t the romantic love, but I know genuinely that I love him as a friend. He is the type of person that i will love unconditionally for the rest of my life. He is such an honest and kind person and I would give anything to be part of his life again. Hence my dilemma. 

For his sake, I feel like I should not talk to him so that he can heal, but I feel like he won’t ever initiate a conversation with me even when he is over me. What is he feeling? Does he mind if I talk to him? Can I please just talk to him? 

I creeped his fb profile again. tsktsktsk. i know. That was bad, but I just can’t help it and I do this thing where I start typing but i don’t actually send it. I wonder if he sees it or if he is even thinking about me. UGH. I am honestly going crazy right now. 

So why? why am i like this? what is the core driver for me to be like this? Is it because db isn’t giving me much attention? is it because i feel like i am drowning. and that i feel so alone, even though so many people love me. I have a supportive group, but I still feel alone. I think I have a problem. Should I tell someone? db? nick? i told jg, but i don’t think she got it. Although i didn’t really give it to her on a silver platter, i just gave her a hint that when i feel sad i feel sad all at once and it feels like an ocean has hit me, not just a splash of sadness. 

So... he went to drumheller on saturday and i wondered if any memories flooded back like how it did when i went to banff. or is he over it? I kinda hope he is over it, so he does not feel as much pain as i did. That was like 5 months ago though? does time even matter though? I think if i went again right now i would still feel the same way. I see that I have not made much progress since then. Maybe i have even gotten worse. 

Also, does db deserve this? me half thinking of getting back together with him. I don’t think so. so should we break up?  i dunno. I keep trying to think of the reasons why nick and i broke up and i just feel like it is my fault. I was just so naiive the whole time that i missed out on what was in front of me the whole time. 

[background-bing]

Poinsettia flower buds

[ramalanbintang]

Pisces

Ramalan Hari ini:

Tetap bertahan pada kesadaran. Jangan mudah tergoda untuk kesenangan sesaat. Kondisi keuangan pelan tapi pasti akan berubah ke arah yang lebih menyenangkan. Menemukan peluang yang  menjanjikan. Tinggal Anda mau memetiknya atau tidak. Buah yang matang di pohon tak akan pindah ke keranjang tanpa Anda memetiknya.

Keuangan: Ada peluang baru lagi. 

Asmara: Bingung antara  cinta atau…

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