Assault On Various Fronts Pt 8
“But of course, lady,” he said, putting as much innuendo as he possibly could in the last word.
… what did I expect, really. What even.
I continued to smile evenly. He's not the first and won't be the last to be disrespectful.
He continued to fancifully divide and shuffle the cards while explaining his version of the game: “Three stacks, we each take one, leaving the third out. We shuffle after ten busts or win. Multiple cards in one throw are fine, the ranks go up. Start is aces. Questions, suggestions?”
He held out the deck for me to divide, I tipped the top for him to deal: “Ranks can be raised or dropped, variety is welcome, Sir,” it was a little boring otherwise, to be honest.
“As the lady luck wishes,” he finished dealing and set the third stack aside, as proposed
With a never-changing smile, I put down a ten and declared “One ace”
For him to nod and declare “Three Sevens” with the widest smile on his face.
“Two Eights,” which was actually true, were followed by “One Nine” and “Two Ten,” which was actually a Nine and a Queen, but he accepted with “Two Jack”
At which point... he was still smiling widely, but his eye twitched. I almost wanted to frown at the obvious sign, but shrugged: “I believe I have to declare you a Liar,” and turned his cards.
A Jack and a Seven... I... had another Seven as well. Hrm. Well, fine.
“Sooo, what is the question you wish to bestow on me, fair maiden~,” he batted his lashes at me.
I continued to smile while he took the cards: “What are the plans for me now, that Samil married me? What will I do in your country?”
“Two aces,” he put down two cards and snickered, “And... being a Wife, of course. With eeeeeverything that entails,” he raised his shoulders. And made a wavey gesture. He had not given me an answer.
“Three kings,” I put down three not-king-shaped-cards, “This was not a proper answer”
“But it was an answer. More specific questions get you better answers, I promise, I have nothing to work with yet,” he winked at me.
… what that was supposed to mean was anyone's guess.
“Also: Liar,” he upended my assortment of numbers and handed them back to me, together with his two real Aces.
Being asked told me more about him anyway: “Do you know how to dance,” he wriggled his eyebrows.
I put an ace down: “One Ace - and of course I have been educated in the art of ballroom entertainment,” I almost felt the consistent smile on my face this time. Non-answers would be a bit boring after a while, but at least the roll of his eyes was entertaining.
“One king. And I don't know if I'd call ballroom dances entertaining,” he had the art of sneering down pat.
“Some tastes simply need to be cultivated, Sir,” he did unfortunately did recognise the 'and you are not', even without emphasis... and grinned, eyes lighting up. He couldn't prove anything! “Two Queens,”
“I guess I'll pass,” and proceeded to put down “One King”
I... his eye twitched. So that meant he should be lying, but...
… ah, to hell with it: “Liar,” and when I turned, it was a king. So he did use the 'telltale signs' to bluff. Fair. I took the cards and he made a show out of 'thinking' about the next question.
Person. Calm.
“So, did you ever dance in a tavern?,” he looked at me gleefully.
And I sighed, indulging him: “I have never been in a tavern without an entourage of at least twenty people. I did, in fact, not dance in a tavern... and neither do I know how to do so. Two aces”
“Huh. Well, then you get a bonus as to what we are going to do with you when you are in our country: Sneak you out of the villa – in pants – and teach you sea shanties in the raunchiest tavern in town. Just the two of us!,” he had actually narrowed his eyes conspirationally at 'pants' and broken out the cheer at the end. “A king”
I got the impression he was definitely an actor. How good or bad... I was not sure, but this much emotion was not natural, my smile never changed – I took care of that – when I said: “I think the etiquette forbids me such endeavours, Sir, I hope you can forgive me. Two Queens”
“That is actually not true at all, my lady, it would be perfectly reasonable in my station to take you out for a night in town if I could provide the necessary protection. And, as it is, I can, so prepare for an interesting night out,” sometimes I had the impression his smile got wider than his face permitted. Also: The closed eyes made him even less trustworthy: “Also: Another king”
… was that on purpose? No one can be that inept at a polite conversation without it being on purpose. His accent was gone as well, now that I thought about it. Just kind of... slipped away. Hrm.
“One ace,” I paused for a second, then said: “It is not reasonable for a lady to wear pants,” it was not proper attire.
“Liar, liar,” he turned the card, revealing my... Eight, well, yeah, I somewhat got distracted, of course he had the other aces: “... buuut thankfully nothing to set fire to... but you ought to try one day. They are much more practical than dresses when riding, it's just such a hassle,” I didn't need the picture of this man in a dress in my head. He became more and more absurd with every second, I picked up the cards so I didn't need to look at him. It would be hard to keep a straight face.
“But since pants are not negotiable, I suppose you are able to ride side-saddle... do you think you could? If asked to get out of this confined space here?,” I almost changed my expression there. Was he trying to not be rude for once? Almost? Well, fine.
“... yes, I do think I am capable and willing. One ace”
He nodded and put a king down: “Mission accomplished on my part!,” he pumped his fist in an exaggerated victory-gesture. Huff.
“I suppose I can await such a proposal in the near future?,” I put down another ace.
“Don't you use the fanciest of words, such a delight,” the sarcasm dripped off his tongue, lord. He also put down four Sevens.
… apparently, we weren't playing for skill today. Simply shoving questions back and forth. Fine. I flipped the cards and gave him back the little stack: “Liar. And... what do you actually do in Samil's court? I will believe you are the 'honest man', but please also keep that in mind when answering my question”
He raised a brow, actually stopped stacking the cards for a second. Then continued with a shrug, voice a little less... expressive: “My my, putting me on the spot like that, how rude,” he sighed, “Mh... I'm also the one solving trouble in the inner ranks. My speciality is hiring the proper hands or simply taking care of it myself. My coat has many pockets, as you can see,” he nodded and put down two cards.
I didn't want to check this very second.
We played for a while in silence. So he was Samil's assassin. When looking at him, it was... still a little absurd. He looked like a gambler, general asshole and somewhat fashionable bastard, who is... eccentric... assassin didn't exactly come to mind. He... seemed genuinely cheery?
After a while, he said: “Liar, liar,” and smirked. Eyes closed. Hrm.
I handed him the cards. This had been a ten.
“How many people did you kill?,” which... well, not appropriate, but his existence wasn't appropriate.
“Rude, my lady,” he tilted his head, and put a card down, “... here we are, fresh from a field of war and you ask me how many people I killed”
“I'm not talking about those, Mazin,” I added on the stack.
He looked sour for a moment, then sighed: “... seven, up to date. Not counting the second hand orders... you got there fast, girl”
“I am aware assassins are a necessity. There is respect in the profession, and I have that, unlike you, apparently. We did agree on at least the usage of proper titles,” here I did frown, he should stick to his word.
He laughed again, mirth coming back to his eyes - he looked more animated. Hrm. Hrm.
“Yes, lady Gabrielle, we did, my apologies,” the bow was still just a mockery, “But I guess it's less of a mystery why he chose you, after all. He's full of surprises,” and he threw down 'Three Jack'
I called the bluff and asked: “Why do you point his choice of me as a wife out so often? What's up with that?,” I was somewhat glad for the change of theme, too.
“... well, I owe Velius a hundred bucks. That alone is worth pointing out. I said Samil would never find a woman he deems worthy. And for the last six years that rang exceptionally true. He's a bit odd with his tastes, after all. But now he fell head over heels for you... and it's ridiculous seeing him like that, after so very little time, too” he threw down the next card and shrugged.
“... the feeling's not mutual,” I had dropped my smile. And wrinkled my nose slightly. Which was unusual. Because keeping your smile was important. But... well, I may just as well.
He laughed freely: “I know, which is the best part. Because, well, you probably can't imagine, but usually girls flock to him. It's probably his looks, really”
I also noted that he took on my own accent and tried to use my speech patterns. It was strange. But it didn't seem too intentional. Weirdo.
The cards went back and forth and my next guess at 'lie' was a false one. But seriously, who can actually play four Tens.
And his question – spoken with a truly outrageous grin - was: “Did you know he wants to tattoo the scratches you gave him onto his face? He's so proud of his lady” he chuckled some more.
I grabbed all cards. Because that had been the tenth lie. And ignored the bloody question. It wasn't even one. And he had lied about throwing down Tens before. It was highly inappropriate anyway.
The ride was a long one. And I learned a few things about him. Like him being allergic to lilies and able to play violin. And banjo. There was also the fact that 'Velius' was the last blood brother. They were a bit at odds – and I'd see when I met him why.
He got to know that I actually was fond of lavender, too, that I liked to take care of Koi fishes and – after highly inappropriate prodding – also admitted that I might be interested in seeing a tavern in it's natural state.
Otherwise everything somehow devolved into backhanded compliments and some actual competition with the stupid game. It turned out we both were rather good at it. He could not see a single sign in my polite smiles and he was... frustratingly unpredictable. His expressions and speech patterns changed too often. There was no hint if it was due to a lie or truth.
Well, he was still an asshole with no sense for protocol – truly not, he had only once used the title with respect – but at least he could play card games.
… and I might get blackmail material from him if asked.
Maybe he wasn't the worst person to be around.