#2020febbad

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GPOYW (Post a selfie!)

Hey, I brushed my hair and put on lipstick for ya. Still suck at taking selfies. Still plenty o’ sun damage from boating life. Still got weird ass post chemo eyebrows. But hey, after 59 fun-filled years, I could be dead. :)

[quickwitter]

What type of friend are you?

This is Steve and I in Romania in 2006. We’ve been friends since the 1980s. My friend Jon and I have been friends our entire lives, I’ll see him in April when he turns 60. My friend Tom for 30 years. My friend Betty and I for 5 months.

I’ll keep your secrets, but if you tell a good story, I will incorporate it into my repetoire. Sure, I’ll give you credit.

I’ve never been the BFF type of person, well I guess I was until high school, but not since then. I’m the more the merrier type, which annoys some people. I don’t understand people who want to spend time only with YOU. Unless there’s something to discuss, or some reason like tickets, why?

I love going and doing things. I loathe shopping except for plants, I don’t have children so historically most of my friends have been men. There are plenty of women who fit the bill these days, especially as I grow older when there has been a marked shift in people’s focus.

I don’t like fluff. I’m not doting. I’m not complementary. I don’t feel comfortable with people who are. I’m supportive, and caring but I’m discovering I’m relatively hands-off. Don’t know why.  It’s not because I don’t care.

If you want to go on a road trip. Want to go to some obscure country but not alone? Send a text, open the door, I’ll hop right on in.

[quickwitter]

February Blog a Day  - Day 29

Bonus day! You’re given one free day to do with whatever you want—zero obligations. How do you spend the day?

Lately, I’ve been spending my free time walking around with my camera at the Zoo. I started docent classes last October and have seen how the animals deal with the darkening of days, and our winter weather (albeit mild), but now with spring arriving, and they days lengthening again, there are babies showing up everywhere. It’s kind of amazing really how the seasons change.

This is a nursing baby Mandrill. It’s not a great shot, but look how weird and wrinkled it’s little face is. This was taken last week when the baby was around a week old, now it’s already turning tan in color and riding holding onto mom’s back. They grow up so fast. :)

There’s something very calming about being around animals.

[quickwitter]

Feb. 2020 Blog a Day - Day 7

Describe your Aesthetic (photos encouraged)

This is a tough one. Boho probably in terms of how I dress, world traveler/first apartment (?) in terms of home decor. I don’t care about things much. I care about experiences, travel and photography. Also, critters. Most of the furniture I have has come to me through other people moving, divorcing, marrying, moving on up. I’m fine with a hand me down couch and my parent’s old lamps. It just doesn’t have to be a craftsman style mica shaded ‘30s style lamp (though I have two of these). I used to care that everything matched but over time and spending as much time alone as I have, I have fully embraced my really don’t care attitude.

This is my master bedroom/bath, there are three walls of windows, the 4th is a fireplace. The trunk at the foot of the bed came from Sicily with my old boyfriend’s grandmother. The furniture against the wall belonged to my grandparents, the shortest piece is a sewing machine from the 1800s. The rug was my parents. The quilt on the bed was handmade by a friend of mine while the old BF and I were on vacation in Italy. I love it, and it’s reversible! The dog was on the bed which is why the pillows are messed up. She’s the best.

My friend Daryl took this photo of me ages ago. This is back when I had HAIR, but style-wise, still me. I like monocrome with some hits of color, also pattern, texture, and scarves. Love scares. I have scarves from all over the world, this one was a gift for my niece. The bag is Himalayan I have the subsequent version which is longer, still made from old Asian clothing but big enough to hold a laptop. 

[quickwitter]

Feb blog a day - Day 19

Write a letter to a past version of you

Dear Laura,

Hang in there, while things are bleak now, the wheel will turn, life will get better. While you can never go back again, you don’t need to. HOld close to your heart the people you love, and move forward when you can. There is love and kindness surrounding you if you look for it, and you will find your footing again. You will be okay. I promise.

Love, Laura

P.S. The Pyrenees was a great choice. She will help. Also, pick up that camera and start using it again.

---

This is ironic timing. On the 19th, when I should have written this my therapist asked if I need to continue meeting or if I felt I was done with therapy for now? When I started therapy with him I had just been diagnosed with cancer, my long-term relationship had just ended after 17 years, my best friend died, both my parents were gone and I was in a lawsuit with one of my sisters and estranged from the other. My ex-brother-in-law told me his family was angry with me. a few years earlier, I’d had a hysterectomy with no follow-up and developed hormone based depression. I’d also fallen 6 feet headfirst off a staircase and landed on my arm, crushing my rib cage and giving myself a brain bleed. I was a mess and lucky not to have died or been paralyzed. My business was a mess, my house was falling apart. It was bad, chickens were living in the my front room. I no longer knew who I was or where I was going.

It’s been a process, it’s taken time to process everything. I know there’s a likelihood that I will die of cancer. I could also die in another fall or a bite from a fer-de-lance. We aren’t guaranteed a future, we have to make peace with our lives today and wring all of the enjoyment, and love out of life that we can without holding onto the hurts and fear that tries to cling to us.

I told my therapist, that I'm finished for now. He asked if I’d come back after my trip and tell him about it, so I will.

I was watching “This is Us” last night and one of the characters is nervous as she approaches her 6 month post-cancer follow-up. I had mine the day before I left for three months in Asia in January 2019. I have my next appointment the day I fly to Costa Rica. I don’t get nervous, I like seeing Alice, the nurse in the office, I bring her peacock feathers, and Dr. Shin doesn’t have a very good sense of humor but I bring him eggs because he told me that his kids thought they my eggs were real dinosaur eggs based on my farm label...

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Feb Blog a Day - Day 17

Your 5 year plan (maybe longer)

1. Get my house ready to rent

2. Reduce stuff, including chicken flock

3. Travel, travel, travel while working remotely

4. Visit family and friends

5. Continue to see the world for as long as I can

6. Return home and either sell and move, or move back in

7. Garden

8. Photography - dooo eeeeeet

9. Consider a small flock of Silkies, (the most ridiculous of chickens)

[quickwitter]

Comfort meal

I don’t know if this is comfort for me like mac ‘n cheese provides that creamy sense of comfort, but this is the lunch my family always had while sitting out on the patio, maybe with olives, or marinated artichokes, or marinate mushrooms, maybe with pesto or balsalmic vinegar, but always some meat, some cheese, some bread, and a few veggies and a glass of red wine.

The wine was ALWAYS Gallo Hearty Burgundy purchased by the gallon and kept in the fridge.

The experience is one my friends have mentioned to me over the years as being a tradition they liked. My family was chaotic and gregarious. Opinionated and funny, not loud or rude, so much as eager to speak. We (family + friends + whomever came by) routinely spent a few hours noshing and joshing out on the patio. I loved those days. Later it would be cocktails, a swim before dinner and a rowdy game of whist, poker or cribbabge.

[quickwitter]

February Blog a Day - Day 27

How did your parents meet?

These are my parents. My mom is probably 19 and a nursing student, my dad is around 26 and just discharged from the U.S. Navy. Dad lived in New York for a while when he was discharged but his family was here and he came back. My mom was born and raised in San Francisco, daughter of Italian-Americans.

My mom was the the candy girl at a theater, my dad applied for a job at the same theater. They didn’t hire him but he mistakenly showed up for work there, and they gave him a job, as a bouncer. Hilarious as he was maybe 5′7″ tall and scrappy.

They weren’t allowed to speak to each other, but it turned out that they both knew sign language finger spelling, so they would flirt with each other from across the room.

My dad proposed in sign language.

My mom accepted.

They went out after their shift and my mom to celebrate and mom was late getting home — her parents had called the hospitals, and the police. They were not happy.

On top of that, my mom’s was entire family was Italian, while my dad was not.

When my dad met my mom’s parent’s he had just started art school on the GI Bill. To prove he was worthy of my mom, my grandfather sat down mom’s sister and gave dad a box of those big, fat crayola crayons. He had dad draw her portrait. It’s not finished but does bear a likeness to my aunt.

She was 19 when she got married, and had had all three of her daughters by the time she was 24 — that’s still so hard for me to imagine. Dad was 7 years older, and had seen some of the world. They grew up together, and went through a lot together over the years, it wasn’t easy but they remained affectionate, best friends until the end. They were married nearly 55 years when mom died. They had different personalities, and different approaches to life but somehow, they made it work, and most of the time, made it look easy.