#21stnervousbreakdown

[davemurrayy]

Happy Birthday! 🎂👏😁

Thank you luv!!!!!!! 💖💖💖

[ziggystarducks]

21stnervousbreakdown replied to your photo “what a beautiful day�� i love getting outside and soaking up the sun...”

omg you're writing an autobiography, based on a true story ������

19 is a good age to start penning my memoirs and documenting my hopes and dreams, no?

[aphrodeshia]

I was tagged by @21stnervousbreakdown thank you! 

One Song: “South Bound Saurez” by Led Zeppelin

Two Films: Star Trek Beyond and X-Men First Class

Three TV shows: Star Trek, Stranger Things, and That 70s Show

Four People: John Entwistle, Nick Mason, Brian Jones, and Rick Wright

Five foods: Indian food, Mexican food, pasta, icecream, and pizza

[aphrodeshia]

I was tagged by @themythicalgarden and @21stnervousbreakdown thank you!!

Rule: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Relationship Status: single and not emotionally stable enough to mingle

Wake Up Time: during the summer it’s about 10, during school it’s 7

Favorite Color: pink, orange, and charcoal

Cats or Dogs: Cats

Coke or Pepsi: I honestly hate soda

Call or Text: Text

Chapstick or Lipstick: Lipstick

Last Song You Listened To: Pink Floyd’s “The Narrow Way”

I don’t want to tag anyone rn so do this if you’d like

[ziggystarducks]

63!

thank you!!!!! :)

63: Would you change your name?Maybe? I already changed to a pen name/stage name that’s easier to say than my legal last name and that’s been fun so far. Also I’m starting to introduce myself more as Andrew now instead of Andy? But also I love the name Andy so much bc it’s ME u know?

[ziggystarducks]

Yellow!

thank you so much omg!! sorry i had to wait till i had my tablet to answer this. i’ll try not to make it too glum hahaYellow: 7 facts about my childhood1. my parents worked really damn hard all the time to get my family on our feet, so my sister and i took care of each other and we spent a lot of time at our grandparent’s, i feel like this had a profound effect on our family but i don’t resent my parents at all for the sacrifices they made for me and my sister to be able to afford everything we ever wanted2. i grew up with a weird idea about money and gifts = affection, because my parents never had time to just hang out and play with us, they were always rushing to work or rushing us to swimming lessons or something, and to make up for it they would buy us toys and games because we always wanted more toys and games of course, so i always associate love with buying gifts and food for loved ones as well as receiving3. my fam was never physically affectionate in general bc both my parents had rough childhoods too so it was just a concept they never knew about. i feel like not getting enough physical affection gave me a lot of intimacy issues IRL where i’m either too touchy with friends but sometimes i never let anyone touch me and they get offended, the whole deal4. n because it was hard to get my parent’s attention and praise (they didn’t withhold it or anything, but it was just hard to get their undivided attention most times) i had to seek it out from my teachers which gave me some weird attraction complex to authority figures, and this also made me work really hard in school for praise from my teachers, and then i could take my good marks home to my parents and they were always so proud of me so i went through 14 years of school with like straight a’s except now i’m struggling in uni bc of some stuff in m,y head so it’s taking a huge dent in my self esteem but whatevs i’ll work through it5. so my mentality my whole life was work hard = get a good job = work harder = get money = be stable = happy so that was always my focus even as like a kid, being career oriented gets you places but messes up some personal relationships a lot6. my sister was and is fucking awful to me but at the same time we only really had each other and i always forgave her because i kept telling myself we could have 6 bad days but one good one every week and that one day was so good and rewarding so i’d always hang on and be her friend just for that seventh day, and this is a trend i kept through all my personal relationships until i realized why i was getting fucked over all the time (this is not a healthy relationship if you folks have read this far and are still paying attention). eventually i just gave up, got my own friends, dove head first into theatre, and spent as much time out of the house as possible, or in my room working on projects, and now my sister is basically a stranger, but im forcing her to talk to me now that i keep moving from city to city. she always responds to my texts quickly.7. as we got older and my sister got hormonal and my parents had to commute for three hours a day every day, i remember a good portion of my late childhood just being really stressful and tense. we all fought all the time and i cried really easily and my sister got violent and took it out on me and i never said a word, and my parents fought because of the stress of work, everyone was miserable and unhealthy. i also got caught in the middle of fights all the time and had to be the peace maker, one day defending my sister, the next defending my parents, sometimes i even got in trouble for sticking up for my mom when my dad blamed her for a lot of shit. on top of that, i think i let everyone take out their anger on me because i just sat and took it, bc i knew they needed to yell to feel better and i wanted everyone to be happy. i didn’t realize how bad it was until situations changed when i was in tenth grade or so and suddenly things got REALLY good and i was like yikes how long were we like that? anyways everything is SO okay now omg my parent’s relationship has never been better, my sister got her shit together, i have a lot of weird problems now but i’m self aware of them so it’s whatevs we’re all super chill nowoverall i can’t complain, i was an easy going kid, i just like hanging out and playing on my own and i had low standards i guess. i wrote a lot which was fun, and i read books super quick and my mum took me to the library like every other day and we got to spend time in the car together and i could tell her all about my day. yeah, don’t worry it’s all fine now and i was a happy kid and we travelled a lot and got a lot of love from my grandparents too, and my dad had to travel a lot for work and i missed him so much but it was fun with just my mum and my sister bc we got to eat in front of the tv and stay up late to video chat with my dad and we went to burger king a lot so my mum wouldn’t have to cook :)

[davemurrayy]

can i tell you something, your blog are beautiful and you're the lovely person! :D

Thank you so much my friend!!!! You are so sweet!!!! 💖💖💖💖💕✨ ily!!! 😁

[aphrodeshia]

I was tagged by @led-sbian thank you I love to do these. I’m supposed to list my top 10 favorite bands.

1. The Who

2. The Beatles

3. The Doors

4. The Monkees

5. The Rolling Stones

6. The Kinks

7. Donovan

8. Pink Floyd

9. Led Zeppelin

10. Bob Dylan

I tag @kabouterpollewop @irl-mary-sue @21stnervousbreakdown @sixtiesinsanity @raptorcat1960 @mymountainofdreams @you-get-what-you-need and whoever else wants to do this