Hôm nay em đọc được một bài viết đại khái là “Người đang cạnh bên bạn ở hiện tại, tương lai sẽ kết hôn cùng người khác…”
Trước đây em đã nghĩ rằng mình sẽ kết hôn ở năm ba mươi tuổi hoặc không. Nhưng mỗi độ tuổi khác nhau, cách nhìn nhận về một vấn đề nó cũng rất khác.
Nếu mọi thứ suôn sẻ, kết hôn sớm hơn một vài năm cũng không tệ, nếu mọi thứ không suôn sẻ kết hôn muộn hơn một vài năm cũng không vấn đề gì nhưng nhất định em sẽ kết hôn.
Người yêu cũ, anh ấy đã nói với em rằng “kết hôn với anh nhé”. Rất nhiều người đã hỏi em rằng “có muốn kết hôn cùng anh không?” nhưng đã không có ai mang nhẫn và hoa đến.
Em không phải là một người hoàn hảo và em yêu cái cách mà anh chấp nhận những điều không hoàn hảo nơi em, em yêu dáng vẻ mà anh vui cười mỗi khi chúng ta nhìn thấy nhau, em yêu mọi thứ nơi anh ngay cả khi có những điều mà em chưa hiểu hết được.
Ở lần trò chuyện đầu tiên, em đã thích anh ngay rồi chỉ là em đã không đủ can đảm để nuông chiều cảm xúc của riêng mình như những ngày xưa. Em muốn anh thoải mái, em sợ bắt đầu chuyện yêu đương.
Em - người con gái với rất nhiều tổn thương. Nhưng anh chưa bao giờ biết vì ngày mà anh đến anh đã mang đi hết những nỗi đau mà em chưa bao giờ nguôi ngoai.
Em sẽ yêu anh bằng cả trái tim mình, em trân trọng anh, trân trọng những cảm xúc tình cảm mà anh mang đến.
Tương lai sau này, nếu may mắn chúng mình vẫn được cạnh bên nhau. Nếu không may mắn anh sẽ nhìn thấy em mặc váy cưới tay nắm tay cùng người con trai khác bước vào nhà thờ, còn anh sẽ cùng người con gái khác trọn đời bên nhau.
Nhưng sau cùng, vẫn không thể nào chối bỏ được chúng ta của những năm tháng ấy đã một lòng một dạ yêu thương nhau.
Mỗi một khoảnh khắc ở hiện tại đều là cùng anh và em sẽ luôn trân trọng.
a/n: this is pretty much written about yoohyeon from her and dami’s cover of mood,,,,so it’s ancient lol but i wanted to post bc i’m tired of packing O_O
Choosing to stay on-campus over the mid-semester break was probably the worst decision you’ve ever made. Of course, maybe apart from not dropping the biology unit.
You sat in front of your laptop, eyes burning holes into the screen. Reading the same line over and over and over again while the strum of a bass guitar reverberated through your thin dorm walls.
No sound-cancelling headphones could save you from Kim Yoohyeon.
Frustrated, you slam your laptop shut and march to her door, not even a meter away from yours. It was just your luck that the two of you were placed at the end of the hallway. Almost everyone on your floor had returned home over the holidays, and those that stayed were anywhere but at the campus. Meaning Yoohyeon had almost no one to answer to.
Until you came along, of course.
Sighing at the noise you raised your hand to knock but paused when you faintly heard Yoohyeon’s voice over the deafening bass. The end of your lips twitched upward.
Yoohyeon’s voice was calming and homely, like a warm cup of tea after a tiring day. It reminded you of the nights you’ve spent watching her perfect her work or when she’d describe her random strings of lyrics with her hands flailing aggressively. Just the thought alone had a warm feeling spread across your chest, slowly weakening your resolve, that is of course until that strum of the guitar is followed by her hollering in excitement. Like a tsunami your fury returned, crushing any appearance of affection.
You knocked once on her door, but there was no answer. Understandable, you knocked on her door again, twice this time but again, there was no answer. Now agitated, you knocked three times, your knuckles aching but again, no answer.
Of course, how could she hear anything over her own howling?
Letting out an irritated groan, you raised your fist, ready to smack the door down when the guitar paused and the door cracked open.
Yoohyeon, smug to have caught you by surprise, wore her signature laid-back grin that drove you up the wall. As always, she was dressed in an oversized flannel over a white shirt with her blonde hair hastily done up in a bun.
“Y/N, hey,” Yoohyeon said nonchalantly as she let herself lean on her door frame, fingers still drumming away on her thigh.
“Don’t ‘hey’ me, Yoohyeon! How many times do I have to tell you to keep the noise down? Just because we're the only ones on the floor doesn’t mean you can blast your trash music! I swear to god, if you blast your music one more time, I will personally barge into your room and smash your guitar to smithereens! Now, lower the volume!”
That is exactly what you didn’t say.
“Yoohyeon,” you sighed, practically whining as you pinched the bridge of your nose. “Can you and Dami turn down the volume… please?”
Yoohyeon regarded you with a strange look. There was a slight crinkle around her eyes which shimmered with mirth. “Dami left for the break, it’s just me,” she said with that impish grin before leaning forward. “But sure, I can do that, for you.”
You stood your ground this time, what you lost in words you’ll show in action. Though, Yoohyeon didn’t see it that way.
Strands of her blonde hair got caught in her lashes as her nose stopped an inch away from yours. Her pupils were blown wide with childish mischief as she waited for you to back down, and like the weak-hearted person you are, you did. You couldn’t help the smile that erupted on your face while you rolled your eyes at her antics.
“You know,” you started as you placed a hand on her shoulder to hold her back. “If you wanted to spend time with me you could’ve just asked?”
Yoohyeon’s smugness faltered before she smiled genuinely. That mischievous glint instantly replaced with one of pride as her eyes widened. “Actually, I finished my new song! I want you to be the first to hear it.”
There was that warm feeling in your chest again, it urges you to take a step forward. And you almost did, you were more than ready to spend hours with Yoohyeon… then you remembered the stupid essay that was nowhere near done.
“Yoohyeon, I can't,” you whisper as she nodded, the dejection clear in her forced smile.
“Just ask me, they said.” She said, eyebrows shooting up while you sighed.
“Are you free tonight?” Yoohyeon’s head snapped up with anticipation. “How about we get take-out and you show me that song over dinner?”
You chuckled at the way her eyes lit up again. More strands of her hair came undone as she nodded vigorously with that puppy-like excitement she was known for.
“Perfect, lower the volume and I’ll order the food—Oh, and clean your room, it’s so nasty!” You said as you walked back towards your door, while Yoohyeon chuckled before reseeding back behind her door frame.
“I’ll see you soon, Y/N,” Yoohyeon said, her voice low and sincere, before closing her door.
The music from next door blasted again, although significantly lowered in volume. You could just about make Yoohyeon’s soft voice hidden behind her bass. Shutting your door, you wore a small smile as you walked towards your desk. As soon as you saw your closed laptop, you could feel the irritation return again, though there was something new this time. Something to look forward to because, within an hour or two, you'll be back at her door.
a chi importa cosa faccio e cosa no, se ho ripreso a tagliarmi sul collo, se di notte non dormo, se non mangio o mangio troppo e sbocco, se non piango o piango e mi strappo le unghie dal nervoso, se prendo a pugni il muro o rimango sul pavimento immobile, se bevo abbastanza da dimenticare come sto o se neanche lo so come sto, cosa importa? cosa importa? ogni mio pensiero è un peso troppo grande da sostenere. ogni mia speranza è racchiusa in qualche pastiglia, il mio desiderio è che possa smettere di fare male, anche per poco, anche se vorrei per sempre. se chiudo gli occhi non mi vedo, se mi immagino domani io sono morta.
