#25112019

[9zup-blog]

บ้านรักไทย 🏡 บรรยากาศตอนเช้า #บ้านรักไทย #25112019 #maehongson #thailand #me #thailandtravel #travelphotography #travel #travelthailand #trip #travelblogger #blogger #travelgram #travelblog #9mytj #instathailand #traveladdict #traveladdicted #instatravel (at บ้านรักไทย中國雲南) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6kGouknGTe/?igshid=11e2t6ckjegcb

[9zup-blog]

บ้านรักไทย 🏡 บรรยากาศตอนเช้า #บ้านรักไทย #25112019 #maehongson #thailand #me #thailandtravel #travelphotography #travel #travelthailand #trip #travelblogger #blogger #travelgram #travelblog #9mytj #instathailand #traveladdict #traveladdicted #instatravel (at บ้านรักไทย中國雲南) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6Nd1bxnrHK/?igshid=mx40kh5sl4ln

[9zup-blog]

บ้านรักไทย 🏡 บรรยากาศตอนเช้ากับหมอกบางๆ #บ้านรักไทย #25112019 #maehongson #thailand #me #thailandtravel #travelphotography #travel #travelthailand #trip #travelblogger #blogger #travelgram #travelblog #9mytj #instathailand #traveladdict #traveladdicted (at บ้านรักไทย中國雲南) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6IwFRkHtSL/?igshid=xe0669s9ta7g

[sondakikaborsa]

Hareket beklenen 7 hisse 25/11/2019 ! Hareket beklenen 7 hisse 25/11/2019 son dakika borsa haberleri Hareket beklenen 7 hisse 25/11/2019

[adesulistiani]

LombA MasaK NaSi GoreNg 👩‍🍳 HappY TeaCher's DaY to aLL TeaCher In ThE WorLd... 👩‍🏫 #25112019 (at Smkn 6 Kota Bengkulu) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5SwMSyAmAl3pN5CDWHES4sJXIr-SoHPZe8H_40/?igshid=yjsom0bne9fc

[windnovember]

3:30 a.m, November 25th, 2019

My messy thinking

--------From Malaysia....

I miss you! myT <3  -----------------------

I’m still awake, then I wanna type something, just for all the mess inside me.

Well, we had conflict, about our mindset, just we didn't get well about each other, or we just try to protect our points of view...? I don't think I was right, maybe I so wanted to be understanding, or did I just lost inside my own mess? Yea, too emotional, too overthinking, too lazy, too dumb, too satisfied with these things, too lost control my discipline... Yea, I'm so bad! I asked him something I can't do, I blamed him for these feelings, these messes. I did not listen to him, didn't understand what he means, didn't put me in his shoes. But I asked all of this from him : ( I want him to learn how to love, how to take care of his lover. But I even don't know how to do  : (( I thought I know, but no, I have no idea about love at all. It's just my imagination, I did think so, but it is not so. I'm afraid of losing him, I'm afraid of making him sad, I'm afraid of his judgments for me, too.

Maybe I should love myself first, love myself so well first. Then I'll be more confident : ( I did keep everything for my own, always. I don't have brave enough to share my own messy thinkings with anyone. I feel inferiority! not as good as others, not as pretty as others, not as smart as others.....  Yea all the things I do is wrong : ((( I hide all of those for me only. I don't want anyone to know it. Just let them see a crazy girl, always can smile, be positive, silly or dumb, the one who doesn't f* care about anything, ..... I'm tired sometimes, really. but it's fine, somehow.

I've loved him with all my heart, all my youth, all my courage and my foolish. I just wanna show him all the best, wanna take care of him, wanna look forward to our future.

Then later, I'm more greedy, more selfish. I let "me" out of my "hidden feeling" box. I'm desired to understand, to love, to take care of. I'm desired to feel like a little princess, be listened and be responded

I lost myself completely! I didn't treat myself well. I let all the negative feelings eat me for a pretty long time. I became so unreasonable girl, emotional, can't understand,... I was wrong.

I know I'm deserved to love, to listen, to care by myself, at least.

and I know you are there, for me. <3

“Sympathy, understanding, listening, and sharing are all needed for us. We have to learn it the right way, by all our hearts. And I wanna learn it, learn to love you. I need you.”

You know how you mean to me right? :) Just wanna hug you so tight. to make you feel my love. Miss you so so so so so so much. Forgive me for all the things I did. I didn't mean it. I didn't wanna hurt you.

I’m sorry.

Love you!