#290415

[bobaschwester-blog]

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[webigflobra]

[teameleanor-blog]

eleanorj92: KnackerDOODLED 🐩😴

[alittlehopealittlefaith]

Speak up or shut up.

Hello there! I apologise on the very little blog post updates but AHA HA HA HA HA I actually wanted to blog last Sunday about something that was very inspirational to me but sadly I cut my finger whilst baking the other time and I had a huge trouble blogging and I ended up not doing it. I opted to save a draft of what I had already written but I’m never the person to actually leave something undone halfway through (especially blogging). Blogging to me is more of like, it’s now or never, that kind of stuff. So yeah, I ended up not blogging about it, sorry!

However, today I was just going to talk about what I feel like I’ve been doing these past couple of months. I don’t know if anyone has realised, but I’ve recently been a lot more quieter than I used to be in high school. I don’t exactly know why, I’m guessing that it might be because I haven’t exactly been around a lot of people much and I’m usually at home every single week with no one but my family and everyone is busy doing their own things which I guess I didn’t want to interfere with them. 

Lately I’ve been receiving comments about me not mixing around when I need to or just being very “shy”. And in all honesty, I don’t know why people see me that way. I mean, I would love to talk and get to know people or just mix around and stuff but sometimes I just feel like it’s inappropriate to jump into people’s conversation because you never know, they might be talking about something important in between the two of them or something like that. 

Plus, I’m a little socially awkward so it’s hard for me, you know. It’s not as easy as it seems to just jump into a conversation and introduce myself. 

This is more or less of how it is in my mind when I’m needed to socialise: Let me get myself together, okay what do I say first “Hi I’m Agnes, how are you today?” or is it “How are you today? I’m Agnes, hello!” or is it “Hey there! How are you today? I’m Agnes” wait no, how do I approach them, should I just wave or should I shake their hand or should I give them a hug?! Does my hair look okay? I’m pretty sure I’m slouching again oh no someone just said hi, be cool be calm. Legs!! it’s not time to turn into jello right now! Fingers! quit fidgeting!!! Heart, would you PLEASE STOP MAKING EXTREMELY LOUD KNOCKING SOUNDS?! I CAN HEAR YOU THROUGH MY EARS IT HURTS. I’m just trying to smile why am I getting so nervous. I should say hi, yes i should. Just wave and say hi, Agnes....

*Awkward wave* “Hello!”

Yep, that’s basically how it goes every single time. It’s pretty tough if you ask me.

Other than that, my mum has lately been telling me that I’ve been very quiet as well. I think that makes her a little worried to send me off to college because she thinks that I would get bullied or something for not speaking up for myself. I understand where she’s coming from since the bullying thing has happened to me since primary school all the way up to secondary (yeah, I still got picked on, shh) but I assured her, I will speak up when I need to. When I feel like I disagree on something or when I’m asked for suggestions or when I don’t understand something, I will speak up. If I feel like the presence of my voice will somehow make things worse or make things seem unnecessary or make things look stupid, then I will shut up.

It’s pretty simple. To me, at least.

Although, I do know that I’d have to pluck up some courage to speak and communicate to people around me. And I will, but just let me be the first to say that I’m trying. I am trying my very best to mix around and be comfortable with everyone and I know I still seem like a “shy” or “quiet” person but just give me a bit more time to get a little more comfortable and I assure you that I’ll be able to communicate way better than I ever could right now. 

This isn’t exactly one of my optimistic-ish type of blog post but I’ve just recently been getting so much of these “quiet” and “shy” comments that I think it’s time I spoke up instead of shutting up about it. So yeah.... 

Much love

P.S: This blog post involves no one in particular besides the names that I have mentioned (my one and only lovely madre). Therefore I’m sorry if it decides to offend anyone, I in no way intended to do so. This is basically just something that has been in the back of my mind for quite a while now and I just needed to get it off of my chest. However if you somehow feel like I’m targeting this towards you then I sincerely apologise though I do not intend of taking this blog post down. I hope you understand that this is a place for me to sprawl my feelings and thoughts into words where I would one day look back and realise what had helped me be who I will be in the future. I also understand that you are in control of your own choice, be it whether to read this or to not. So thank you for reading it till the very end which is here. The rest after this is completely crap because I just wanted to type longer but I have nothing else to talk about besides May is approaching omg! I shall blog about May next time. Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend ahead and God bless each and every one of you. I luff chuu guuyyys!

[mycatharsisroom]

Ilma kamu mau nikaah? Selamat yaaa (1352726819)

entah pertanyaan keberapa ini kalimat yg lagi hot di seminggu ini berakhir juga di hari ini. Tekanan mental yg kerasa setiap pertanyaan ini dan pandangan menyelidik dan mesem2 penuh arti berakhir juga. Alhamdulillah yeaaaay!!! "ilma itu doa, kita husnudzon sama kamu makanya ngira kamu, selamat ya" Petikan kaliamat yg sering keluar, aamiin in aja setiap katanya, ilma anggap itu doa yg memudahkan setiap proses hidup ilma, lumayan buat cerita anak cucu :)) Laa hawula walla kuwata illa billah .. Ilma punya impian dulu, ilma punya tujuan dulu :D