I’m sick of people caring so much
I’m sick of people messaging me who I don’t want to
I’m tired of life being half beautiful, but not quite enough to convince me it’s worth it
I’m tired of being stuck in the same place
I’m sick of being so late to start in life
(My L’s, my P’s, getting a job, etc.)
I feel so tired and useless
I’m sick of not being completely myself
Of not having the confidence to be who I am
Of not having any self esteem
I feel like dying just from walking and knowing other people around might see me
I can’t do anything in front of people or sometimes even alone without feeling like crawling into a hole and burying myself
I don’t try incase I suck
Because at least if I don’t try and someone insults me, I can tell them I wasn’t trying
But if I try and they pick on me,
I have to admit I actually tried and it still wasn’t good enough
I kind of want to die
I kind of want to live and be me before I do
I don’t want to die a shell of myself
But I don’t know if I’ll ever make it to that place
So I don’t know whether to die, stick it through, or try and have a 50/50 shot
Try and make it
Or try and still not.
I hate myself so much.
