I've blocked myself from love, For as long as I can remember. As a guest at my first matrimonial ceremony, My refusal of standing in the cluster, Of over zealously giddy women, On the flawlessly buffed parquet dance floor, Wrangling over the fresh, Floral scented symbol of future marriage, Was reduced to whispers and gossip when, I just didn't think "next" would be me. As time went on, Relationships ended as abruptly as they began, After comfort became too easy or, Feelings were too strong, I disappeared or ran away, Afraid of what could come. My best friend married her soul mate, And on their special day, I blurted out "I'm never getting married," To surprised expressions, At this renunciation of adulation and happiness. But, this negative impulse to love, Was natural to me. After breaking my heart, So many times, It was only right I believed, That there was nothing for me. But, now, Two years shy of 30, I am hoping someone will fall in love with me. And in return I am hoping, I will finally be able to reciprocate that feeling.
