#313am

[555amantha]

I’m walking to the gym, it’s dead quiet out here and all you hear are my thighs rubbing in my workout pants 🍗

[hereliecicadas]

Loving a Poet

I miss being in love with a poet. My beau doesnt value poetry, or prose. No artistic approach to exploring the universe, nor an interlaced love of the sciences. There is no artistic exchange between us. There is a level of play that I so highly value that is lost in our relationship. Sometimes... the world feels colder to me because of it. A bit more isolating, again, as it used to feel.,, before I loved a poet. 

[am-coffee]

i just wanna feel okay again

[successod]

[soul-baggage]

I pity myself

I pity myself.

As I try and enjoy the good company of friends.

I think of how the night would be like if you were here.

And I think of how you became my happiness.

Clonking our glasses and reciting a little speech.

Hearing the barks and the car tires’ screech.

I look at the door feeling the need of seeing you.

But the ones that come in, see my stare and has no clue.

I pity myself.

As I see how every 5 seconds I glance at the door.

Never losing hope that I’ll see you anytime.

Then I thought, ‘does she even think of coming over?’

I never saw you there, as expected and unquestionable.

But I know somehow my wish can impossibly be possible.

And we drank until the bottom of every bottle.

Contented with ourselves and ready for tomorrow’s battle.

I pity myself.

As I walk out of the supposedly happy place for me.

Knowing that I’ll have to go home alone again.

Dealing with my thoughts that keep on reminding me how I awfully feel.

I walk slowly, looking back more than I should.

Still hoping for the sudden change of your mind and accompany me like you would.

Then I reached the end where I should decide to stop looking back.

I wonder, is the gap between us caused of some things I lack?

I pity myself.

As I feel myself slowing into a stop.

I realize I was giving you more time than you deserve.

Hoping that as you do what you are doing, the thoughts of me pop.

I did not looked back, but I stood and waited there.

Craving for my name to be shouted by you and know you’re now here.

But you didn’t, so I crossed the road and stood by the station.

I cannot refrain from looking at the place where I waited with my silly imagination.

I pity myself.

As I hopped into the vehicle.

My cravings for you didn’t stop, then I had something I could hope and wait for you.

With my thoughts creating your long text that’s obviously a miracle.

I must have glanced over my phone a hundred times before I got to my place.

I went in, silently preparing myself for bed, knowing I have completely lost in this case.

Lying in my bed, thinking if what I was doing is dumb.

One last look at my phone but alas, I am done.

I pity myself.

As I write these words that was once only a thought.

Because I know this will not help me get any better.

And only you can make all these go away, if you just tell me the truth.

Ending this night I realized I did not hear a text alert from my phone.

I hugged the bear you gave me, wondering if I will have to deal with these by myself from now on.

I closed my eyes and the thought of still having the tiniest hope to grab on.

And I wonder, ‘where is this little hope coming from?’

[analorian]

Silly me took a two-hour NAP at 10pm...now I'm wide awake. Looking like 😳. Guess ill try and get some work done. Hey, at least I'm being productive! *peace sign*