#3:28pm

[boldog-vagyok-el-ne-hidd]

Te, aki annyiszor megmosolyogtattál, sosem gondoltam volna, hogy ennyi könnyet csalsz majd a szemembe

[ajyal-azez]

حاجتي هذه الأيام للبحر أصبحت مُلحة.

[ajyal-azez]

أنا نصكَ الفارغ في دفتر أيامك، وجزءك الخفي حينما تحاول جاهداً إخفاءه، وسماءك الضائعة ونصف قلبكَ الشقي. جدني وابحث عنّي في الزوايا والممرات وقصور السرايا، حتماً ستجدني أحتسي كوب الشاي في ردهة مكان هادئً يعرف كيف يُنهي أمر قطعتك الشاردة.

[sadnessteph]

To be a sad Man

[15begins]

17/05/2018

Aún no puedo creerlo. Parece un sueño.

Ojalá no lo sea. Y si es ese el caso: Por Dios, que nadie me despierte.

[singsstuckinmyhead]

Particles- Nothing But Thieves

[secrets-of-may]

I think things may be escalating a bit. 

It feels like as soon as I’m home and out of the watchful eye of coworkers at my internship I can release all the depression I’m keeping inside. 

It’s almost like it’s not there while at work, like if I really focus I can forget it’s there sometimes. But as soon as I step home, my monster is back and waiting for me at the front door to escort me back to my room and I … hate it. 

I think? 

I feel confused and distant … like maybe I might be dissociating a bit here. 

Why am I hesitant to express my pure hatred for my depression? 

Because that’s what I should have for it. Nothing but pure hatred for the way it’s taken over my life. And yet, there’s this part of me that hesitates. 

I’m not sure if it is because a part of me is still reluctant to face how serious my depression has become or just because I have become used to my own discomfort and suffering and don’t want to part ways with it … 

I feel like my depression and myself are in an abusive relationship except my depression doesn’t have it’s own physical embodiment and so it has to share it’s space with mine.

 And lately it feels like maybe the depression is winning. And there’s a shift slowly taking place. I mean, if me hitting myself until I bruise is anything to go by.

 And still I remain tight lipped about my struggle with depression, unwilling to let out just how much control it has over me. Perhaps it will win and I will lose .. . and in that change my once passive thoughts become very much active. 

[keithegoddess]

I can't wait to travel the world with Him.🌍❤️