A rare bit of local news from me. Now, I've had mixed experiences at The 400 Bar, I don't want to mythologize it here or anything, but this strikes me as odd. It does not appear to be a joke, either. The 400 Bar, closed in 2013, is to re-open...at the Mall of America, the fuck? That's right the mall. This is so ridiculous, but also so hilarious and kind of logical when you think about capitalism. CBGB died in Las Vegas, why shouldn't The 400 Bar die at the Mall of America?
If anyone is reading this and is not from or not familiar with the Twin Cities area and the splendor that is the mall, let me just say that I really hate that fucking place. The place you go (I only go for cheap shoes, that's it) and while walking through one of the immense parking garages you realize you're seeing all kinds of out-of-state license plates which means that this must be some kind of road-trip tourist destination which means people are spending all kinds of money to come to a god damn mall. The place that nearly gives me panic attacks. The place with roller coasters and crap in the middle. The only thing I liked about the rides was after they stopped being Peanuts themed. There was a brief period when the ride where you get in a plastic log in water with a big drop at the end was called "Paul Bunyan's Log Chute" (I am not kidding, it was) but now it's Nikelodeon themed so it's all very boring.